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Dear Dish-It: I Need At Home Advice

Dish-it gets so many questions, she doesn’t always have time to answer them all right away! Here are some quickie answers for some of the shorter questions she’s received.

I have to get a shot but I hate getting them. What should I do? – kittensarah

OK, it's true. Getting a shot can hurt. But the pain usually comes and goes pretty quickly. If you cry, don't worry about it. Lots of kids do. To make shots easier to take, try bringing your favorite teddy bear or asking your mom or dad to hold your hand while you're getting a shot. Afterward, you may even get a little treat if you're brave! Maybe your doctor gives out stickers or your mom and dad will take you out for something special. Sometimes, after a shot, your arm will hurt, look red, or have a small bump where the needle went in. You also could have a fever. Your mom or dad can talk to the doctor about any problems you have. Usually, the pain goes away quickly, or after you take some pain reliever, like acetaminophen or ibuprofen. It's OK if you don't like shots, but remember that they are your best shot at staying healthy!

What should you do if your dad has a girlfriend who has a kid and you don’t like him?

If you feel like you don’t get along with your dad’s girlfriend’s son – that’s pretty normal. You’re basically being forced to spend time with or instantly like someone you personally haven’t chosen to be a part of your life. But things can and do change. It's important to slowly take your time, get to know each other and see what you've got in common. For now, just accept that you're going through a very difficult situation and you're having to come together at a time that you might not have chosen to do that.

I have a laptop and my mom says I can only go on for two hours, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. There are parental controls on my laptop, too. I have nothing to do if I can’t go on my laptop or iTouch phone. What should I do after school and stuff? – karls23

Personally, I think it’s good that your mom is putting limits on how much time you can spend on the computer. I know it seems unfair, but there are so many fun things to do and so many kids these days are missing out on them because they spend so much time indoors in front of the computer or TV screen surfing the web or playing video games. I suggest you start reading more or going outside and playing with your friends. You could also join a club or a sports team and that will keep you busy after school and on weekends. Or ask your mom if she can help you sign up for a class in something you’re interested in learning or trying out, like painting or pottery or gymnastics or horseback riding – the possibilities are endless!

I had a BFF who got really annoying. We’d grown apart and I didn’t want to be friends anymore. I finally told her and she started crying and saying it was hard for her to make friends because she’s fat. So I had to be her friend, but I really don’t like her. I know it’s mean but how do I tell her I don’t want to be friends anymore without hurting her too badly? – nini98

This is a tough one. It’s sad when good friends grow apart. Are you sure you can’t simply expand your circle of friends and, at the same time, see your old friend once in a while? If that’s absolutely impossible, then you can either be completely honest with her – which will hurt her feelings, but at least she won’t go crazy wondering why you suddenly just stopped talking to her. Or you can do just that – distance yourself, either slowly over a period of time or in one foul swoop. Either way, it won’t be easy. There’s no easy answer to this one. I think your friend will be hurt by your decision no matter how you go through with it.

My mom’s over-controlling! She gets on all my things and reads my e-mails. It’s starting to get annoying. She makes me give her my password to everything and she monitors my friends and comments. When I try to talk to her about it she says it’s to keep me safe, but I’m 11 and in two years I’ll be a teenager! Help! – tweenvsparent

It sounds like you and your mom need to have a little chat. Before you approach her, make a list of all the things she does that bother you most. Make sure you know exactly what you want her to stop doing before you talk to her. Then, on your own, decide on a compromise for each of those things. For example, if it bothers you that your mom reads all your e-mails, tell her you don’t mind if she puts parental controls on the computer so she can be in charge of what you can and can’t do on the Internet. When you’re ready, ask your mom if you can talk to her – bring your notes with you. Before you start, take a few deep breaths and make sure you’re calm and not upset. Don’t get angry during the conversation and never raise your voice to your mom. After you’re done talking, let your mom speak and listen to what she has to say. Make sure you keep an open mind and show your mom you can be mature about this problem. If she agrees to your compromises, make sure to thank her and be grateful to her. If she doesn’t, don’t get angry. In a couple months you can try bringing up the subject again.

If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.

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Are Your 'Rents Overprotective?

  • Yeah! My 'rents won't let me do anything.
  • Not really. They're pretty cool.
  • Not at all - my parents let me do whatever I want.
  • It depends on the situation.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

FroggyBurton
FroggyBurton posted in Friends:
"drowning" wrote:I've met this predicament in the past myself. I still do. But, there's always little things you can do other than medications and doctors. Find others to talk too or even online services like imalive. They're lovely people to talk too; I had the pleasure of finding that out.Pull yourself to find little hobbies to do; even if it's not all the time and just sometimes. Try drawing, writing, reading. Exercise, even. Drink water, treat yourself. Walk more, keep your music updated. Rearrange things; move things. Keep your environment as up as you can. Get things done; make yourself feel accomplished. You don't always have to do big things and take different tests to make yourself feel better. It takes time; lots of it. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 11; now I'm 17.And, you need to remember that it's okay to get sad and you're not always going to know what to do. But, that doesn't mean you won't figure it out. Honestly, I didn't think I'd be here today. I almost wasn't a few times. Now, I'm working on getting ready for college and I'm engaged. Things aren't going to always be great or perfect, even. But, that doesn't mean they won't be okay. I hope you the best of luck and I wish to tell you that you can come to me at any time.Honestly, it's just really hard for me to even wanna do something these days. Most of the things people wanna do, it involves having more people around to help you achieve it your goal(s). I do sketch, a lot. But all of my outcomes of my drawings end up being depressing and suicidal. I try doing things, but again, nothing seems to work. My family honestly would rather have me try for emancipation then want me to stay any longer. But the thing is, I can't do it in my state. I feel like I'm trapped here and there's no escape. I've been kicked out so many times. Slept underneath trees, etc. I don't have anybody, literally anybody to talk to anymore. It's lonely. It's great at times. But it's just really depressing when you look around in the hallways of your school and try to talk to someone, they just walk away from you...
reply about 6 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
I've met this predicament in the past myself. I still do. But, there's always little things you can do other than medications and doctors. Find others to talk too or even online services like imalive. They're lovely people to talk too; I had the pleasure of finding that out. Pull yourself to find little hobbies to do; even if it's not all the time and just sometimes. Try drawing, writing, reading. Exercise, even. Drink water, treat yourself. Walk more, keep your music updated. Rearrange things; move things. Keep your environment as up as you can. Get things done; make yourself feel accomplished. You don't always have to do big things and take different tests to make yourself feel better. It takes time; lots of it. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 11; now I'm 17. And, you need to remember that it's okay to get sad and you're not always going to know what to do. But, that doesn't mean you won't figure it out. Honestly, I didn't think I'd be here today. I almost wasn't a few times. Now, I'm working on getting ready for college and I'm engaged. Things aren't going to always be great or perfect, even. But, that doesn't mean they won't be okay. I hope you the best of luck and I wish to tell you that you can come to me at any time.
reply about 14 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
If you need counseling, anti-depressants, and you're being abused verbally, mentally, and physically; you need to get immediate help. You are in an unhealthy environment and it shouldn't be normal to you. This isn't normal and it isn't okay. Call 911 and get yourself out of that household.
reply about 14 hours
FroggyBurton
FroggyBurton posted in Friends:
So, not too long ago, I tried talking to one of my best friends and I was severely depressed and just wanted to end my life. I really didn't know what to do and I felt like I was down on my knees. So, I messaged her and told her that I just really needed someone to talk to and that I haven't talked to her for almost a month and a half, or so. She instantly snapped on me and explained to me that I cannot rely on my friends for happiness, now, before I go any further, I don't rely on my friends for happiness. But it doesn't hurt to have somebody to talk to from time to time, right? Anyways, so, I told her that and she replied back saying that I'm just too much for her to handle and too depressing and then attacked me by calling me ugly names and involved my other friends into it and I lost them as well. I'm feeling horribly depressed even worse than I did that day (which was two days ago) and I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I don't have any friends anymore. I feel like I don't have anybody to talk to. People are probably going to read this and either think that I'm just asking for attention (which is not what I want) or that I do have friends to talk to and that they are always here for me. But nobody understands that nobody is ever really going to be there for you 24/7 and it sucks, honestly. I feel really isolated from everybody, which is why I search on social media for friends and they all fail. I'm seriously begging for some advice on how to handle my depression because it's getting way out of hand and I'm only fifteen years young, going on sixteen in April. I'm running out of options. I've talked to therapists, left and right but nothing worked. I've taken medications but nothing has changed. I just want to throw my hands up in the air and wave the white flag...
reply about 18 hours
FroggyBurton
"IlikeGUYS20" wrote:Dear dish-it,I think I am bi! For the past few years I have been attracted to boys and girls. I think I am bi. But is it to early to come out and say this?xxIlikeGUYS20xxPS My friend wrote my username. I am not kidding. I think I am bi. You do not have to do anything that you don't wanna do.  Your sexuality what you feel.  It's what you believe that you are attracted to.  Bisexual or not.  There is nothing wrong with it.  I know a lot of bisexual people who still to this day haven't come out yet and said anything to their parents.  Whether or not your friends and family accept you, you still have a whole community that does 100%!
reply about 21 hours