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Dear Dish-It: Quickies (4)

Dish-it gets so many questions, she doesn’t always have time to answer them all right away! Here are some quickie answers for some of the shorter questions she’s received.


I have to get a shot but I hate getting them. What should I do? – kittensarah


OK, it's true. Getting a shot can hurt. But the pain usually comes and goes pretty quickly. If you cry, don't worry about it. Lots of kids do. To make shots easier to take, try bringing your favorite teddy bear or asking your mom or dad to hold your hand while you're getting a shot. Afterward, you may even get a little treat if you're brave! Maybe your doctor gives out stickers or your mom and dad will take you out for something special. Sometimes, after a shot, your arm will hurt, look red, or have a small bump where the needle went in. You also could have a fever. Your mom or dad can talk to the doctor about any problems you have. Usually, the pain goes away quickly, or after you take some pain reliever, like acetaminophen or ibuprofen. It's OK if you don't like shots, but remember that they are your best shot at staying healthy!

What should you do if your dad has a girlfriend who has a kid and you don’t like him?


If you feel like you don’t get along with your dad’s girlfriend’s son – that’s pretty normal. You’re basically being forced to spend time with or instantly like someone you personally haven’t chosen to be a part of your life. But things can and do change. It's important to slowly take your time, get to know each other and see what you've got in common. For now, just accept that you're going through a very difficult situation and you're having to come together at a time that you might not have chosen to do that.


I have a laptop and my mom says I can only go on for two hours, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. There are parental controls on my laptop, too. I have nothing to do if I can’t go on my laptop or iTouch phone. What should I do after school and stuff? – karls23


Personally, I think it’s good that your mom is putting limits on how much time you can spend on the computer. I know it seems unfair, but there are so many fun things to do and so many kids these days are missing out on them because they spend so much time indoors in front of the computer or TV screen surfing the web or playing video games. I suggest you start reading more or going outside and playing with your friends. You could also join a club or a sports team and that will keep you busy after school and on weekends. Or ask your mom if she can help you sign up for a class in something you’re interested in learning or trying out, like painting or pottery or gymnastics or horseback riding – the possibilities are endless!


I had a BFF who got really annoying. We’d grown apart and I didn’t want to be friends anymore. I finally told her and she started crying and saying it was hard for her to make friends because she’s fat. So I had to be her friend, but I really don’t like her. I know it’s mean but how do I tell her I don’t want to be friends anymore without hurting her too badly? – nini98


This is a tough one. It’s sad when good friends grow apart. Are you sure you can’t simply expand your circle of friends and, at the same time, see your old friend once in a while? If that’s absolutely impossible, then you can either be completely honest with her – which will hurt her feelings, but at least she won’t go crazy wondering why you suddenly just stopped talking to her. Or you can do just that – distance yourself, either slowly over a period of time or in one foul swoop. Either way, it won’t be easy. There’s no easy answer to this one. I think your friend will be hurt by your decision no matter how you go through with it.


My mom’s over-controlling! She gets on all my things and reads my e-mails. It’s starting to get annoying. She makes me give her my password to everything and she monitors my friends and comments. When I try to talk to her about it she says it’s to keep me safe, but I’m 11 and in two years I’ll be a teenager! Help! – tweenvsparent


It sounds like you and your mom need to have a little chat. Before you approach her, make a list of all the things she does that bother you most. Make sure you know exactly what you want her to stop doing before you talk to her. Then, on your own, decide on a compromise for each of those things. For example, if it bothers you that your mom reads all your e-mails, tell her you don’t mind if she puts parental controls on the computer so she can be in charge of what you can and can’t do on the Internet. When you’re ready, ask your mom if you can talk to her – bring your notes with you. Before you start, take a few deep breaths and make sure you’re calm and not upset. Don’t get angry during the conversation and never raise your voice to your mom. After you’re done talking, let your mom speak and listen to what she has to say. Make sure you keep an open mind and show your mom you can be mature about this problem. If she agrees to your compromises, make sure to thank her and be grateful to her. If she doesn’t, don’t get angry. In a couple months you can try bringing up the subject again.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    astucieuse331
    astucieuse331 posted in Friends:
    I've always felt the same way. My one best friend gossiped behind my back, used me, all that girl stuff. She took me for advantage and we had a bunch of fights because of her finding a new friend and completely acting as if I didn't exist, and I told her to give me at least some attention every once in a while if she can't even continue to talk to me daily. And.. I lost her. Well, she lost me. We both lost each other. But then I realized.. it's the people that you least expect to be nice to you you'll find kindness in. Why? Based on personal experience, and I'll tell you the story: For my gym class, me and my peers were supposed to make a group for a dance. This was when my best friend had found a new friend already, and the time at which we had a few fights because of that. Of course, I relied on my best friend to count me in her dance group. At lunchtime, I sat together with my best friend, and we ate our lunches in silence. All of a sudden, I brought up the dance groups and asked her straightforwardly: "Can I join your group?" No reply. "Kelly, can I join your group?" No reply. "I mean, since our class is uneven, I found it fair that there'd be a group of five, you know?" None at all. Kelly ignored me straight off the bat, leaving me speechless. My mind raced with thoughts, and I thought, maybe it's not worth having Kelly as a friend. A few days later, we were playing Dodgeball for gym. I was on Kelly's team, and overheard her talking with her new friends about who to pick for the dance group. One of her friends mentioned me, and Kelly said: "Oh no, we shouldn't pick her because _____ (I don't know what she said then)." I was shocked, but was anticipating it, so when the time came to choose groups, I saw my friend, Luke, ask two girls, Cher and Bridgette, to join their group. Surprisingly, Cher and Bridgette actually accepted him, and so I thought, "Wow, if they accepted Luke, they might accept me aswell!" and so built up the courage to ask them if I could join. Even though Cher and Bridgette were mean to me sometimes, I knew that I had to risk it and see what'd happen. Afterall, rejection is just another opportunity to find a better group. Little did I know, it'd be the best choice of my life. They were so happy, and even thanked me for joining them! I was speechless once more; I never knew that the peers that I thought I would never be friends with would actually be my friends!  So yeah, that's what I learnt, and I never regretted learning that fact. Ever since then, though, I've learnt not to trust people as much as I used to anymore. I learnt that independency is what works for me, what I was meant for in terms of socializing or working. But, other things may work for you. If you still want a friend, you can be independent and wait for the right person. However, if you still want a real friend, you can wait, but still mingle (hang out) with other people! I I'm not going to make fun of you because I know how you've felt, just as I stated in my past problem before. But you can move on from those friends, they're not worth your time and certainly don't deserve you as a friend. Trust me, if it's meant to be, you'll definitely find a true friend. But if it's not, you may become like me, finding happiness in my own way. I want to remind you though-- you don't need someone to stay happy, or keep you company. This may sound silly, but you can even have your own invisible friends! I've had one, but that's very rarely for me. It's not silly though if you see the general idea; usually these friends are made from different dimensions of your personality or just because of will. There's a lot more fish in the sea, though, so I'm sure you'll find a true friend that's meant for you  :) Take care, and I hope you'll find a true friend soon!
    reply about 10 hours
    ts01
    ts01 posted in Friends:
    im so sorry you girls feel that way.true friends are there, its just easier to find users because they are more plentiful. dont give up, you will find real friends eventually
    reply about 11 hours
    lolflowergirl
    lolflowergirl posted in Friends:
    i feel alone too
    reply about 13 hours
    kayme123
    kayme123 posted in Friends:
    i know the feeling. but i got taken off a website instead of my friends. i can assure you they probably feel the same and are missing you, BUT its not worth dwelling over it. friends come and go without any choice in life and trust me, i lost the love of my life and my two of the best friends in the world. The thing is, you have to move on, because they wouldent want you feeling sad over them right? they'd want you to be the happy person you were when you were with them! for starters, i'll be your friend so your not scared to make some new ones. To be honest, i went through the exact same thing as you did and it DOES hurt very bad. But once you find some people that are willing to make you feel better, you know you've chosen the right friends again
    reply about 22 hours
    Irene_love
    Irene_love posted in Style:
    "1.am.3m0" wrote:Hey. Im also turning 15 soon. So dont worry you arent alone hahah. Start dressing for your shape and also find whats comfortable.  Because if you wear something that is uncomfortable you wont be happy and happiness is the best look :) Most of the time I wear jeans with a graphic tshirt or singlet and a cardigan or light jacket. Hoodies are great for winter. And I wear combat boots like doc martins and converse. Hope I helped somehow! :)
    reply about 23 hours

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