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Dear Dish-It: Quickies (4)

Dish-it gets so many questions, she doesn’t always have time to answer them all right away! Here are some quickie answers for some of the shorter questions she’s received.

I have to get a shot but I hate getting them. What should I do? – kittensarah

OK, it's true. Getting a shot can hurt. But the pain usually comes and goes pretty quickly. If you cry, don't worry about it. Lots of kids do. To make shots easier to take, try bringing your favorite teddy bear or asking your mom or dad to hold your hand while you're getting a shot. Afterward, you may even get a little treat if you're brave! Maybe your doctor gives out stickers or your mom and dad will take you out for something special. Sometimes, after a shot, your arm will hurt, look red, or have a small bump where the needle went in. You also could have a fever. Your mom or dad can talk to the doctor about any problems you have. Usually, the pain goes away quickly, or after you take some pain reliever, like acetaminophen or ibuprofen. It's OK if you don't like shots, but remember that they are your best shot at staying healthy!

What should you do if your dad has a girlfriend who has a kid and you don’t like him?

If you feel like you don’t get along with your dad’s girlfriend’s son – that’s pretty normal. You’re basically being forced to spend time with or instantly like someone you personally haven’t chosen to be a part of your life. But things can and do change. It's important to slowly take your time, get to know each other and see what you've got in common. For now, just accept that you're going through a very difficult situation and you're having to come together at a time that you might not have chosen to do that.

I have a laptop and my mom says I can only go on for two hours, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. There are parental controls on my laptop, too. I have nothing to do if I can’t go on my laptop or iTouch phone. What should I do after school and stuff? – karls23

Personally, I think it’s good that your mom is putting limits on how much time you can spend on the computer. I know it seems unfair, but there are so many fun things to do and so many kids these days are missing out on them because they spend so much time indoors in front of the computer or TV screen surfing the web or playing video games. I suggest you start reading more or going outside and playing with your friends. You could also join a club or a sports team and that will keep you busy after school and on weekends. Or ask your mom if she can help you sign up for a class in something you’re interested in learning or trying out, like painting or pottery or gymnastics or horseback riding – the possibilities are endless!

I had a BFF who got really annoying. We’d grown apart and I didn’t want to be friends anymore. I finally told her and she started crying and saying it was hard for her to make friends because she’s fat. So I had to be her friend, but I really don’t like her. I know it’s mean but how do I tell her I don’t want to be friends anymore without hurting her too badly? – nini98

This is a tough one. It’s sad when good friends grow apart. Are you sure you can’t simply expand your circle of friends and, at the same time, see your old friend once in a while? If that’s absolutely impossible, then you can either be completely honest with her – which will hurt her feelings, but at least she won’t go crazy wondering why you suddenly just stopped talking to her. Or you can do just that – distance yourself, either slowly over a period of time or in one foul swoop. Either way, it won’t be easy. There’s no easy answer to this one. I think your friend will be hurt by your decision no matter how you go through with it.

My mom’s over-controlling! She gets on all my things and reads my e-mails. It’s starting to get annoying. She makes me give her my password to everything and she monitors my friends and comments. When I try to talk to her about it she says it’s to keep me safe, but I’m 11 and in two years I’ll be a teenager! Help! – tweenvsparent

It sounds like you and your mom need to have a little chat. Before you approach her, make a list of all the things she does that bother you most. Make sure you know exactly what you want her to stop doing before you talk to her. Then, on your own, decide on a compromise for each of those things. For example, if it bothers you that your mom reads all your e-mails, tell her you don’t mind if she puts parental controls on the computer so she can be in charge of what you can and can’t do on the Internet. When you’re ready, ask your mom if you can talk to her – bring your notes with you. Before you start, take a few deep breaths and make sure you’re calm and not upset. Don’t get angry during the conversation and never raise your voice to your mom. After you’re done talking, let your mom speak and listen to what she has to say. Make sure you keep an open mind and show your mom you can be mature about this problem. If she agrees to your compromises, make sure to thank her and be grateful to her. If she doesn’t, don’t get angry. In a couple months you can try bringing up the subject again.

If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    tasfia posted in Family Issues:
    With both of them :-)   I just sleep in the middle :-p
    reply 1 day
    Dear Dish-it, i always wanted to be in a band but my parents are saying you should forget about that, you should get a real future. I have fought my case by they just get it.  Please help me Bye
    reply 2 days
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
    reply 3 days
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
    reply 3 days
    Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
    You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
    reply 4 days

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