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Dear Dish-It: Should I Reveal My True Feelings?

Dear Dish-It,

I want to tell this guy, Joel, my real feelings for him. I like, like, like him a lot!!!

joel!!♥


Dear joel!!♥,

It’s pretty obvious you have a crush on Joel. You probably think about him a lot, imagine yourself with him and maybe even picture your future with him. Unfortunately, you’re not even in a relationship with him yet and you might feel too shy to reveal your true feelings because you're worried about how he might react.


Everyone has their own opinion about whether you should reveal your true feelings to your crush or not and how to do it or not to do it. But if Joel is single, free and available and you wouldn’t be hurting anyone by telling him you like him, then there's nothing to say you shouldn't let him know how you feel.


At the same time, try not to put all your hopes on getting a date with him – there’s a chance he doesn’t feel the same way about you that you feel about him. If that’s the case, try not to feel bad if Joel doesn’t say he likes you back. Remember, a relationship should be equal. The person you’re dating should think you're as great as you think they are, and they should want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.

Your feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. Having crushes is a normal part of being a human being, especially when you're growing up. However, while it might be hard to see this right now, these feelings you8 have for Joel that seem so overwhelming nearly always fade with time. The reason your crush feels so intense is that you're basing your emotions on a fantasy version of how a relationship with Joel could but may not actually be in real life.


If you do decide to reveal your feelings to Joel, you have to be ready ahead of time to deal with him reacting in a way you may not like or expect. Hopefully he says he likes you back and then the two of you can decide where to take your relationship from there. But if he says he doesn’t feel the same way about you, even though it might seem very hard, you will have to try and move on by enjoying all the things in your life that you enjoyed before you had a crush on him. Have fun with your friends, go out and meet other people.


In time, your feelings won't seem so overwhelming. And, while you're getting on with enjoying life, you might end up meeting someone who really likes you and who you can have a great relationship with. Remember, you deserve someone who really wants to be with you, whether it’s Joel or someone else!


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Advice:

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    bffeaea
    bffeaea posted in Friends:
    I don't know you and I'm not exactly sure how you act, but being friendly is definitely the way to go. Don't change yourself for ANYBODY. Especially someone who you don't need to impress. Speaking of impressing, don't try, do. If you are telling a story and that happens to impress them than that's great! But don't go out of your way to try to make yourself look awesome because I'm sure you already are. Be yourself. But the most important thug now you can do is not try to make a million friends. Because personally I would rather have one AWESOME friend than a million ok friends. I hope this helped. :)
    reply about 18 hours
    HoneyHamstern
    HoneyHamstern posted in Friends:
    Be yourself and most important of all, be kind. You will get great friends by doing so. Being popular doesn't always mean being nice; sometimes people tend to be rude and bossy to be "popular" and that isn't good. But if you participate or even start a group at school, at the library or somewhere important in the community (community service like the Rotary Club is a good way to start for kids and teens) can be a great way to meet friends and share your happiness.
    reply about 19 hours
    esthery27
    "f3rr3tgal" wrote:dear dish-it,        I absolutely love my family but... my dad has these headaches  where if they are really bad i can not say anything right he will get really mad. i don't know what to do i really hate being yelled at by my  dad and i love him soo much !!!! what do i do?  [s:sm3/1jvp]                                                       thanks,                                                            f3rr3tgal Tell him that you love him and you understand he's suffering but you really don't like it when he yells at you. You can write a note or a card to him. I'm sure he'll understand. And of course if needed see a doctor so that he'll know what to do to deal with those headaches.
    reply about 19 hours
    esthery27
    esthery27 posted in Friends:
    You won't want to be, it's exhausting. Just be happy the way you are and don't care about what others think or say about you.
    reply about 20 hours
    GiddyUpGecko
    GiddyUpGecko posted in Friends:
    What if you just aren't populr, and you want to be???  :(
    reply 1 day