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Dear Dish-It, Being Fat Is Ruining My Life


Dear Dish-It


Dear Dish-It,

I feel like being fat is ruining my life... there are a lot of problems in my life and it's kind of like a circle. Here, I'll explain... I am fat because I am depressed. I'm depressed because I have problems. One of my problems is weight. I'm trying to starve myself but it's so hard, I get so weak and I already lost 43 pounds but it's still not enough. I'm huge and I can't stop eating once I start... what do I do? Like all the commercials say, I've tried everything! Please help me.
Flower


Dear Flower,

First off, you should NEVER try and starve yourself. No matter how unhappy you are with your body, starving it is only going to cause serious health problems and can actually cause you to gain weight cuz your body goes into starvation mode. Losing 43 pounds is not very healthy for most adults, let alone a teen or pre-teen girl. Here are some tips on how you can get fit the healthy way!

  • Get regular exercise, even if it's just a walk with some buds. Offer to take your dog for walks too.
  • Cut fatty foods and sugar out of your diet. Eat lots more fruits and veggies and drink as much water as you can.
  • Make a list of everything you eat each day. This way, you'll be able to see what it is you need to steer away from, and what sorts of healthy foods you could be replacing them with.

  • It does sound like you're in need of someone to talk to about these problems you are dealing with though. Your issues seem to run a lot deeper than just a struggle with body image. Definitely talk to a trusted adult. Your 'rents, a school counselor, someone! And you could take a look at this Web page - it has a ton of great self-esteem boosting tips, as well as links to help you find professionals to talk to about all the things you are going through. And although you may think this is total cheese, take a look at the Oprah site. She actually has a lot of great ideas on how to lead a happier and healthier life. Good Luck!


    Dear Dish-It,

    My friend Jasmine is best friends with this girl who went through my things and then told one of my other friends and now my other friend thinks I'm a liar. We haven't talked since we got out of school for summer break and that was June 18th - and my other friend Jasmine is not talkin' to me either. I think Jasmine's best friend has something to do with Jasmine not talking to me. I think this is because this girl keeps taking Jasmine places and every time I call her she's always busy with this other girl. I'm sick and tired of it! Jasmine's acting like she doesn't even like me anymore as a friend. I keep asking her, and she keeps saying yes, but for some reason I get the feeling that Jasmine's lying to me. Her BFF is gettin' on my nerves! I think that the BFF and Jasmine should apologize, but I don't know what to do. Tell her all of this, or break off the friendship. Please HELP ME!!!
    liltoni85


    Dear liltoni85,

    Whoa! I think you need to sit down, count to ten and just breathe for a second. From what I've gathered, your friend Jasmine is hanging with a girl you don't like... a girl that may or may not have caused trouble between the two of you. You've asked Jasmine if she still wants to be your friend and she says yes. But you want that to mean that she will spend more time with you and less time with the troublemaker, right? It doesn't sound like anyone owes you an apology. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe Jasmine really likes this other girl and they have a lot of fun together? You demanding an apology from them for excluding you will not score you any friendship points. If you aren't happy with how they are leaving you out, then move on and find some friends who you can have a good time with. If you just leave Jasmine to figure things out, and not confront her, then I am sure everything will work out. Just hang in there!


    Dear Dish-It,

    Hi! This is not about dating! I don't think dating is important. I am an orchestral band percussionist. I really need your advice. I march for the a marching band and I am a new member. I am going to be tested the first week of rehearsals. I don't know how to prepare! What should I do?
    Thanks! You rock!
    fhsbandmember


    Dear fhsbandmember,

    You must have heard that age-old saying, "Practice makes perfect," at least once in your life. Well, that saying will come in handy as the big marching band test approaches. I'm sure you didn't make it all the way to this gig with the marching band without practicing your percussion skills already. If the thought of banging away on your drums for hours all alone makes you cringe, then what about inviting some marching band compadres over for a jam session? If you take some deep breaths, and concentrate on what you're good at, then this test will be nothing more than another opportunity to show off your mad percussion skills!


    So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 16 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    GlimmeringSky16
    Shouldn't this be titled like, "Suicide Isn't the Answer" or something.
    reply about 4 hours
    HannahG
    HannahG posted in Family Issues:
    Why? You're worth so much more than that. You deserve to live, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. You're an amazing human being, you're capable of so much more than you think you are. You're special. I know you probably think you aren't but you must certainly are. The idiots who tell you to commit suicide, well, as I said, they're IDIOTS. I know life sucks sometimes with them but don't let that end your life. Don't let them win. Prove them wrong. They're not worth your thoughts, why bother letting them take your life? They're not worth the amazing person that you are. Don't let them stop you from living your dreams, because they aren't worth them. They're just a bunch of jerks who have no heart, the devil took theirs away, don't let them take yours. Thanks for reading this. You're a great person and I really hope you decide not to do that to yourself. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm always available for you. -HannahG
    reply about 5 hours
    Harmonia
    Harmonia posted in Family Issues:
    "HannahG" wrote:I've honestly learned a lot with my parents, and with my experiences I'd like to share with you what I've learned so you don't make mistakes(although you will, I'm here to prevent as many as possible). So go grab your parents and your siblings, and listen to My Rant To Parents Across America(or mainly to my own parents, since this is what I'd tell mine). #1. The relationship between a child and his or her parent is NOT a dictatorship. Sorry to burst your bubble but it's not. See, dictators are cruel to prisoners of war or basically ANYONE and push them around in any way they want because their people should obey them. The dictator's people are his slaves. Because they should obey them, because he keeps them alive. In your case, you think that you should be the dictator because you gave them the gift of life, making them owe you themselves. Well, see, um, no. You gave them the gift of life because you LOVED them! You knew that your child may make mistakes, and you didn't care because you loved them more than anything else. You didn't give them life so they could be your slave, you gave them life because you loved them enough to let them live with you. Which brings me to my next point.... #2. Don't compare your child to other children. Don't tell them you like that person better. I thought that you loved them so much you wouldn't care about their mistakes, you gave them life knowing they may not be the best of the best, but you loved them so much you wouldn't care! Do you not have that unconditional love between a parent and their child now? Because if not, maybe you should leave yours at an adoption center and go adopt the child you're comparing them too, because they're OBVIOUSLY better. The second reason why you should never compare is because, see, I don't care if you are bff's with them on social media sites, or how often you speak to them, you probably don't know your child as good as you think. You may not know what they're going through. They may not have been the lead in the school play, but most of this generation can actually be really good at acting when you're around. So many parents think that they know their child so well, when they haven't a clue. You don't see what goes on outside that door of your house. They can hide it if they're being bullied. And you just made it worse by comparing them to someone else. This world will tear them APART. To pieces, until all that's left is a small atom left inside of them. They need to know that there's always gonna be someone there for them when they're hurting, when this world has crushed them to bits. Someone who loves them, who doesn't think anyone else in the world is better than them. You're not giving them that message when you compare them to another. And also, you don't even know the person you're comparing them to most of the time. That child could be screwed in the head and you'd have no idea. They could be a much worse child than yours is. #3. Yes, I WILL make mistakes. I'm not perfect. I'm sorry. I wish I were too. But I'm not, and you need to accept that! It hurts me when you're insulting me. That stuff makes me feel bad. You don't even know the effect you have on me. I know I say I don't care. But guess what? I'm the best actor there is at saying that. I do care. And it really hurts me when you insult me. Like, seriously, I just got home after being bullied by a girl who called my fashion style stupid, and you're treating me worse than she did. You don't know what's going on in my life! Why do you hurt me? For all you know, I could be a suicidal who's cutting themselves every night(I'm not, just using it as an example. I love life. But what other way can I get to you than by lying?)! You don't know! What if that insult could be the one thing that leads me to suicide? What if I'm gone tomorrow? I bet you'll have wished you hadn't said that now. The parents, they probably know who they are, they go insulting their child and guess what happens the next day? They're bringing a knife to their heart! Those parents feel like absolute ####, and they wish they hadn't said that. I'm not suicidal or anything, but what if someone else is? What if you don't know who that person is? You probably don't know. You don't have any idea at all the effect you can have on people. If it were me, I'd want my effect to be good. Your compliment could mean the difference of a lifetime and you'd never know. You have no idea. Please take my word, and pass this on. And thank you for reading this. -HannahG Every parent needs to read this. From my personal experience, my parents are examples of a lot of the stuff you listed above. No one's parents have a complete idea of what is going on, and by one word or one action you could make everything worse. In fact, my parents were the reason I self-harmed for the first time... But that was in the past. No kid should ever have to be slaves, be punching bags of their parents that make them miserable. Parents need to care about their kids. Isn't that what a mom or dad is?
    reply about 6 hours
    HannahG
    HannahG posted in Family Issues:
    I've honestly learned a lot with my parents, and with my experiences I'd like to share with you what I've learned so you don't make mistakes(although you will, I'm here to prevent as many as possible). So go grab your parents and your siblings, and listen to My Rant To Parents Across America(or mainly to my own parents, since this is what I'd tell mine). #1. The relationship between a child and his or her parent is NOT a dictatorship. Sorry to burst your bubble but it's not. See, dictators are cruel to prisoners of war or basically ANYONE and push them around in any way they want because their people should obey them. The dictator's people are his slaves. Because they should obey them, because he keeps them alive. In your case, you think that you should be the dictator because you gave them the gift of life, making them owe you themselves. Well, see, um, no. You gave them the gift of life because you LOVED them! You knew that your child may make mistakes, and you didn't care because you loved them more than anything else. You didn't give them life so they could be your slave, you gave them life because you loved them enough to let them live with you. Which brings me to my next point.... #2. Don't compare your child to other children. Don't tell them you like that person better. I thought that you loved them so much you wouldn't care about their mistakes, you gave them life knowing they may not be the best of the best, but you loved them so much you wouldn't care! Do you not have that unconditional love between a parent and their child now? Because if not, maybe you should leave yours at an adoption center and go adopt the child you're comparing them too, because they're OBVIOUSLY better. The second reason why you should never compare is because, see, I don't care if you are bff's with them on social media sites, or how often you speak to them, you probably don't know your child as good as you think. You may not know what they're going through. They may not have been the lead in the school play, but most of this generation can actually be really good at acting when you're around. So many parents think that they know their child so well, when they haven't a clue. You don't see what goes on outside that door of your house. They can hide it if they're being bullied. And you just made it worse by comparing them to someone else. This world will tear them APART. To pieces, until all that's left is a small atom left inside of them. They need to know that there's always gonna be someone there for them when they're hurting, when this world has crushed them to bits. Someone who loves them, who doesn't think anyone else in the world is better than them. You're not giving them that message when you compare them to another. And also, you don't even know the person you're comparing them to most of the time. That child could be screwed in the head and you'd have no idea. They could be a much worse child than yours is. #3. Yes, I WILL make mistakes. I'm not perfect. I'm sorry. I wish I were too. But I'm not, and you need to accept that! It hurts me when you're insulting me. That stuff makes me feel bad. You don't even know the effect you have on me. I know I say I don't care. But guess what? I'm the best actor there is at saying that. I do care. And it really hurts me when you insult me. Like, seriously, I just got home after being bullied by a girl who called my fashion style stupid, and you're treating me worse than she did. You don't know what's going on in my life! Why do you hurt me? For all you know, I could be a suicidal who's cutting themselves every night(I'm not, just using it as an example. I love life. But what other way can I get to you than by lying?)! You don't know! What if that insult could be the one thing that leads me to suicide? What if I'm gone tomorrow? I bet you'll have wished you hadn't said that now. The parents, they probably know who they are, they go insulting their child and guess what happens the next day? They're bringing a knife to their heart! Those parents feel like absolute ####, and they wish they hadn't said that. I'm not suicidal or anything, but what if someone else is? What if you don't know who that person is? You probably don't know. You don't have any idea at all the effect you can have on people. If it were me, I'd want my effect to be good. Your compliment could mean the difference of a lifetime and you'd never know. You have no idea. Please take my word, and pass this on. And thank you for reading this. -HannahG
    reply about 6 hours
    Tech-King
    Tech-King posted in Friends:
    Just tell him, or do what my friend did, get someone to do it for him.
    reply about 6 hours

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