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Dear Dish-It: Do I Tell My Friends About My Disorder?

Dear Dish-It,

I have a syndrome called blind rage syndrome. I found out two years ago when I first started feeling the effects and I'm afraid of what my friends will think of me if they find out.

James


Dear James,


The first thing you need to know and remember is that nobody's perfect, not even your friends. Chances are they've got things about them that they don't want you or anyone else to know, or that they're afraid of revealing because they're not sure how other people will react. You're not alone.


If you choose to talk to your friends about your syndrome (and that's something that's 100% up to you), know that it's probably not going to be a very easy discussion. The first thing you need to do is assess your friendship with each person when you're deciding whether you want to tell them or not. How much do you trust the person? Can you trust the person with your emotions? Will this person spread your feelings around the school?


If you feel you can trust the person, your next step is to assess how much the person actually knows about your specific disorder or dealing with a disorder of some kind in general. You are best to assume they know nothing at all on this topic and you should tell them in simple terms.


What To Do: Tell them you suffer from a lifelong disease that affects your moods. Tell them what it's like to live with your syndrome. After you describe what it is like having this disorder, make it clear to them that people with your disorder can and do live successful lives. It is important they understand that you are still a normal kid. You just have this disease that affects your brain. Stress that most of the time you will behave like every other normal kid and blend in, but you will also have the mood episodes that come with having blind rage syndrome.


Having friends who understand your disorder can be a great support system. They can be a terrific sounding board if they are capable of understanding what you go through and if you can trust them. Often, your friends can provide a level of support and point of view your parents, doctors and therapists are not able to provide.


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  • 25 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    SimplyAda
    I can relate very much.  :e  It happens a lot. But here's one thing, try not to date. At my middle school, everyone literally dates everybody and relationships never last. Part of the reason is that most of us aren't in that mature phase yet (mostly boys). As the days go by, we're growing. But, it's completely normal to have a crush on a boy. :) :thumbsup
    reply 18 minutes
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Sorry for the late reply, but I'd love to help. If they don't want to talk to you, or don't like your jokes, don't talk to them. They probably don't like you, so you shouldn't try to make it better. You should hang out with your other friends. They'll make you feel better about yourself. If you don't have any friends in your class...that's the problem.  That's exactly what happened to me last year. But I started hanging out with the guys more, and they were really nice and had a lot in common with me. Maybe the guys will be nice to you and accept you. I hope I helped you. :)   
    reply about 7 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Aw, that's sad. I know this is a late review, but I would love to help you make new friends. There are kids that do nasty things at every single school, trust me, you'll never find a perfect school, and if people are reporting this form of bullying, teachers are probably supervising children more, so don't worry about that. :) Now making new friends, ahh, that's very difficult. I can be shy myself, but it honestly depends. What I usually do is observe different groups of people, and see how they interact with each other. If the person seems nice, wait until the time is appropriate and greet them. A friendly "Hi, I'm new, could you maybe show me around, or help me with this, or tell me about this school?" That will start off a conversation. :)  As well, I tend to make jokes, or go to my funny side. I usually make way more friends that way. You could try to make slight jokes, and gradually make them less implied and more clear as you joke around.  If there are any other new kids, or shy kids, definitely talk to them. If there are any kids that look lonely, or sad, maybe take some time to approach them. If they look like the want to be left alone, leave them alone. If you're not sure, it's best if you see someone else interact with them first.  If you're bisexual, that doesn't really matter, and don't bring that fact up in a conversation. That's kind of personal, and when you get a little closer, you can say that. It's not really important, and necessary for people to know that. And it's personal too. So don't bring that up unless you really want to.  I hope i helped you! Sorry for the late advice. >_< 
    reply about 7 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Several people are having the same problem as you. Whether they're the same gender or not, many people crush on some of their closest friends. So don't feel alone, remember that. I know this is some late advice, but I hope so far things are going good. Many people are feeling the urge of confessing like you. Yes, I think you should confess to her clearly, but when the time is right. She may not like you, but if you really really like her, you should absolutely confess to her. But be aware that confessing to one of your friends can ruin your friendship. You have to be cautious, confess when the time is right. 5 months may be long for you, but honestly, that's a short-term crush. Don't rush your confession, and don't give up unless you think you should. Getting over someone can be incredibly hard too, but you're either going to get over her, or confess to her. When the time is right, confess. When the time never seems to come, I'm sorry, but unfortunately, I think it's best if you get over her, because you have to be 100% sure before you confess to someone. You're risking your friendship to, so think if it's really worth it.  I hope I helped you. :) 
    reply about 7 hours
    vwala_12
    vwala_12 posted in Friends:
    I guess I mean I have been in a lot of drama since the school year started I also recommend if the bullying gets worst tell someone and don’t just walk away it will be worst if you do and if there gonna beat you up just run and tell a teacher or tell your parent so always keep alert!
    reply about 8 hours