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Dear Dish-It: Do I Tell My Friends About My Disorder?

Dear Dish-It,

I have a syndrome called blind rage syndrome. I found out two years ago when I first started feeling the effects and I'm afraid of what my friends will think of me if they find out.

James


Dear James,


The first thing you need to know and remember is that nobody's perfect, not even your friends. Chances are they've got things about them that they don't want you or anyone else to know, or that they're afraid of revealing because they're not sure how other people will react. You're not alone.


If you choose to talk to your friends about your syndrome (and that's something that's 100% up to you), know that it's probably not going to be a very easy discussion. The first thing you need to do is assess your friendship with each person when you're deciding whether you want to tell them or not. How much do you trust the person? Can you trust the person with your emotions? Will this person spread your feelings around the school?


If you feel you can trust the person, your next step is to assess how much the person actually knows about your specific disorder or dealing with a disorder of some kind in general. You are best to assume they know nothing at all on this topic and you should tell them in simple terms.


What To Do: Tell them you suffer from a lifelong disease that affects your moods. Tell them what it's like to live with your syndrome. After you describe what it is like having this disorder, make it clear to them that people with your disorder can and do live successful lives. It is important they understand that you are still a normal kid. You just have this disease that affects your brain. Stress that most of the time you will behave like every other normal kid and blend in, but you will also have the mood episodes that come with having blind rage syndrome.


Having friends who understand your disorder can be a great support system. They can be a terrific sounding board if they are capable of understanding what you go through and if you can trust them. Often, your friends can provide a level of support and point of view your parents, doctors and therapists are not able to provide.


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    PotterDrinksWater
    While engagement isn't illegal for juveniles, marriage is as you can already tell. Judging by your feelings, I don't think the relationship will last long enough for him to be able to wait. I heard some courts will allow it, depending on location. Knowing whether her engagement is okay is a tricky thing. She seems pretty confident in the relationship. As for your own feelings, how well do you know him? Do you have any knowledge about him outside their love life? Do her parents know anything about him? If you don't now the answers, don't be afraid to ask them to her or her parents. I'm also a 16-year-old girl and I don't feel comfortable with it. Many young adults have a hard time understanding the transition from  teen to adult, but if he's put his problems on her, that's a bad sign. I don't think 5 months is long enough in my opinion and I think this could lead to making bad habits in a relationship. I appreciate that you're trying to help your friend be safe. Hopefully some of her closest people will help her with you. They don't necessarily have to steer her against him, but they should help guide her into deciding what's best ad how to carry on from that.
    reply about 8 hours
    CaptJolee
    CaptJolee posted in Friends:
    I don't even think that legal for a adult to marry a teen I think you should ask that part to make sure my theory is correct
    reply about 11 hours
    Boysrock50
    Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
    Do your parents know her parents? Maybe you could get your parents to speak to hers. Or if not, maybe tell her parents yourself that you're concerned. Try speaking to her and making sure she's 100% sure about what she's doing?
    reply about 12 hours
    KittyChes16
    KittyChes16 posted in Friends:
    So last year my friend got engaged at the age of sixteen to a guy of twenty-one and they only dated for 5 months at the time. I'm afraid she's making a mistake. They're still together, but her guy seems like he has a temper and might get abusive in the future.  What should I do? 
    reply about 13 hours
    DaEpicMuffin
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    reply about 22 hours