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Dear Dish-it: Breaking Up - Without Breaking His Heart

Dear Dish-it,


How do I break up with someone but not hurt them? The person I'm with is madly in love with me but I don't think that this online dating thing is working out. I think I may need to end it. What should I do?


Dazed And Confused


Dear D&C,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for.


Sound Off

How would you break up with someone NICELY? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Comments

Abinabee

Abinabee wrote:

I agree with AngelThumbelina, if u don't start one u dont have 2 end it.If I was u I wu...
commented: Sat Feb 22, 2014

XxCryXx

XxCryXx wrote:

Im not trusting love again if I break up with my bf
commented: Mon Feb 10, 2014

21inkiepielover
I want to break up with Travis..,only if Kano was real..Dx
commented: Sun Dec 01, 2013

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

AlphaT
AlphaT posted in Friends:
Tell him, but not like "Hi, I like you" Ease it into a conversation, maybe with a joke?
reply 1 minute
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
Then tell him.
reply 13 minutes
animals-are-cool
I know how you feel but you parents don't HATE you
reply 37 minutes
darkvisions
darkvisions posted in Style:
Hot topic and Spencer's
reply 44 minutes
Starflyamme
Starflyamme posted in Friends:
Thanks that's a good idea!  :|
reply about 1 hour

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