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Dear Dish-it: Breaking Up - Without Breaking His Heart

Dear Dish-it,


How do I break up with someone but not hurt them? The person I'm with is madly in love with me but I don't think that this online dating thing is working out. I think I may need to end it. What should I do?


Dazed And Confused


Dear D&C,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for.


Sound Off

How would you break up with someone NICELY? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

  • Tell them face to face.
  • Get a friend to do it for you.
  • Send them an email or text message them.
  • Just ignore them. They'll get the message.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

CoolAsalah
"Kirsteeeeen" wrote: I am so sorry for your loss. It must be tough going through this at the moment, losing someone is always a difficult situation. Grief can be unsettling and uncomfortable, but is a normal and necessary part of grieving and getting yourself through these types of things. I encourage you to continue to remember her, whether it be through stories or drawings or other ways you might express your good memories together. You could also do something in her memory such as plant a tree. Healing from loss takes time. There's no magic fix that'll make you feel better overnight. You just have to let yourself go through the process and eventually you will feel better. I promise. I'm also here if you feel like talking about it at any time, just send me a request. ​Tysm [s:sm3/1jw1] [s:sm3/1jw1]
reply about 23 hours
Kirsteeeeen
This is going to sound completely cliche, but the best thing is to just be yourself. You'll make friends no problem. People can tell when you're being genuine or not, and they definitely appreciate you for who you are more than if you tried to be someone else. You got this, it'll be a fun and exciting experience. :)
reply 2 days
Kirsteeeeen
I am so sorry for your loss. It must be tough going through this at the moment, losing someone is always a difficult situation. Grief can be unsettling and uncomfortable, but is a normal and necessary part of grieving and getting yourself through these types of things. I encourage you to continue to remember her, whether it be through stories or drawings or other ways you might express your good memories together. You could also do something in her memory such as plant a tree. Healing from loss takes time. There's no magic fix that'll make you feel better overnight. You just have to let yourself go through the process and eventually you will feel better. I promise. I'm also here if you feel like talking about it at any time, just send me a request.
reply 2 days
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
On a typical day I wear a pair of ripped jeans and either a hoodie or jacket, and a snapback. The opposite would probably be a dress lmao.
reply 2 days
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
I also love expensive clothing. Brand names are my thing. But I always shop either during sale times or at second hand stores. Sales are my best friend, honestly. It might be frustrating to wait, but it's worth it in the end. Shop only on sale racks in big stores, and scout out smaller second hand stores that often carry brand names, never worn, but for a cheaper price.
reply 2 days