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Dear Dish-it: Breaking Up - Without Breaking His Heart

Dear Dish-it,


How do I break up with someone but not hurt them? The person I'm with is madly in love with me but I don't think that this online dating thing is working out. I think I may need to end it. What should I do?


Dazed And Confused


Dear D&C,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for.


Sound Off

How would you break up with someone NICELY? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Comments

Abinabee

Abinabee wrote:

I agree with AngelThumbelina, if u don't start one u dont have 2 end it.If I was u I wu...
commented: Sat Feb 22, 2014

XxCryXx

XxCryXx wrote:

Im not trusting love again if I break up with my bf
commented: Mon Feb 10, 2014

21inkiepielover
I want to break up with Travis..,only if Kano was real..Dx
commented: Sun Dec 01, 2013

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Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

  • Tell them face to face.
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Here’s Dish-It's advice for all those out there wondering about breaking up – and how to do it.

Dear Dish-It in the forums

hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
what're are you talking about??!!ur an awesome advise giver, but I do go to a type of therapy, its a strengthening families therapy thing, i's like three hours long, and I'm like the oldest person there, so that probably won't work, but u seem like an awesome person can I friend u??!! btw thanks for the advice I doesnt understand how your the oldest person there when its the strengthening families therapy thing and does your family go?   Thanks though and me advise is when you walk in the next time go up to the therapist and ask her / him that you would appreciates if you can have the quiet word without anyone listening.  And then tell her/ him how your feeling.  This seems like one person you can tell Yush of course and I will accept :) Your welcomes and I will do me best :angel
reply about 9 hours
toripizza
what're are you talking about??!!ur an awesome advise giver, but I do go to a type of therapy, its a strengthening families therapy thing, i's like three hours long, and I'm like the oldest person there, so that probably won't work, but u seem like an awesome person can I friend u??!! btw thanks for the advice
reply about 9 hours
toripizza
ill' probably watch It when 'm done with my homework, but seriously thanks
reply about 10 hours
hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
Ello and I am sorry your going through all this pain. Your  being strong for everyone else trying to put on the happy smiley face and at the same time your feeling so miserables.  You said in your post that you already does go to the type of therapy.  Is there any way you can talk to someone at the therapy sessions and say you need to talk about this? Sometimes you has to say you has the problem cos right now your giving the signal that your ok cos your hiding your feelings. Im the horrible advise giver but im the good friend and i care and if you wanna comment me then i will do me best to be your friend and listen :love
reply about 10 hours
alexiarina123
your welcome , youtube explains clearly all abt the laws of attraction. It will help u  BIG time....just remember to do it the right way:)
reply about 10 hours

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