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Dear Dish-it: Breaking Up - Without Breaking His Heart

Dear Dish-it,

How do I break up with someone but not hurt them? The person I'm with is madly in love with me but I don't think that this online dating thing is working out. I think I may need to end it. What should I do?

Dazed And Confused

Dear D&C,

Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.

Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.

Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.

Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.

Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for.

Sound Off

How would you break up with someone NICELY? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

bluehawk posted in Friends:
You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it. Keep powering through it and stay strong. 
reply about 18 hours
hugebear posted in Friends:
hello dish-it i hope i not bothering you.im rita im 16 year old and i have autism.i get bullyed a lot. this has been happening online.this girl said that i was crazy and that freddie mercury (queen lead singer) wouldnt love me cause i have autism.i am queen and freddie mercury's #1 fan.the girl said no body would believe me and it made me so upset i had a autistic meltdown.what do i do,please help.   That person what said that to you is the mean bully and she doesnt deserve your emotions.  I feels sorry for that girl that she has to make herself feel better by being nasty.  Gosh. If it was me I would say thank you very much for saying what you think and say thankfully I doesnt care what your sorry little opinions is.  The turn around and walk away and dont look back. You has the beautiful personality  and your loved.
reply about 23 hours
hugebear posted in Friends:
I agrees with Kirsten and what does he say when he gives you the presents?
reply about 24 hours
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
I've been there but I was lucky. This girl Amelia invited me to sit with her and her friends ................ Yeahbutnowshe'signoringallthetimeandsometimesblowsmeofftohangoutwiththisothernewgirldaniela andthenifoundoutshewasjustfakefriendingme Whatever. You could just try to say hi to someone who looks nice. Although I know how hard it is.
reply 2 days
XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
Tell that girl that she looks so horrible she makes roadkill look beautiful. Clap your hands really loud with nobody looking and then say "HEY WHY'D YOU HIT ME?" (Don't thank me thank Diary of a Wimpy Kid) Tell someone. Tell a teacher or somebody Or ignore that excuse for a person and get on with your life without her I mean, it.
reply 2 days

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