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Dear Dish-it: Breaking Up - Without Breaking His Heart

Dear Dish-it,


How do I break up with someone but not hurt them? The person I'm with is madly in love with me but I don't think that this online dating thing is working out. I think I may need to end it. What should I do?


Dazed And Confused


Dear D&C,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for.


Sound Off

How would you break up with someone NICELY? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Here’s Dish-It's advice for all those out there wondering about breaking up – and how to do it.
F1109701531750

Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

  • Tell them face to face.
  • Get a friend to do it for you.
  • Send them an email or text message them.
  • Just ignore them. They'll get the message.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Family Issues:
Agreed. He was hiding for a reason, but noone except him knows what that is. It may have been good or bad. By telling the teacher you stopped anything bad from happening. Your grandfather was right too, but I think that telling the teacher was the right thing to do. Also, don't worry. I had an aunt who was very very close to me, but I was very small when she died and was actually laughing at those people crying their eyes out because I was little and didn't understand why they were crying so much. I didn't really feel anything right then. And now I reprimand myself for being such an idiot about it.
reply about 4 hours
awesomestream
awesomestream posted in Friends:
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reply about 6 hours
TexLex152
TexLex152 posted in Friends:
I've liked the same guy for six years. I decided this year to finally get it off my chest and tell him. It took a lot of courage, and I was gonna do it the day before graduation... Except, little did I know, he went on a trip that day and I never got the chance. I then got his ######## and built up the nerve to add him. He hasn't added me back yet, and it's been a week! I shouldn't be as stressed out as I am. I can't stop thinking about him, but I'm not gonna see him for two months. Help?
reply about 21 hours
Anna13
Anna13 posted in Family Issues:
Appreciate you as you did the right things...dont bother other things...
reply 1 day
Anna13
Anna13 posted in Family Issues:
See, one important thing is you father eventhough missed your mummy he needs somebody in his life.Thats is the main reason. So its better  you as medium (its better if you could share to your family member who knows things well) talk to hiim to stick on to one women an marry her or Just keep silent keep him some time afterall at one point of time hwe will realise things Pray to god for his betterment.........:)
reply 1 day