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Dear Dish-it: Breaking Up - Without Breaking His Heart

Dear Dish-it,


How do I break up with someone but not hurt them? The person I'm with is madly in love with me but I don't think that this online dating thing is working out. I think I may need to end it. What should I do?


Dazed And Confused


Dear D&C,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for.


Sound Off

How would you break up with someone NICELY? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Comments

Abinabee

Abinabee wrote:

I agree with AngelThumbelina, if u don't start one u dont have 2 end it.If I was u I wud jus tel him I wasnt redy 4 a relationship n dat it was my fault.
commented: Sat Feb 22, 2014

XxCryXx

XxCryXx wrote:

Im not trusting love again if I break up with my bf
commented: Mon Feb 10, 2014

21inkiepielover
I want to break up with Travis..,only if Kano was real..Dx
commented: Sun Dec 01, 2013

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

pink12
pink12 posted in Family Issues:
dear dish it i am almost old enough to get my ears peireced but i need to convince my mom. and also i wan to get my own make up bu i need to convince my mom can you give me some advise
reply about 9 hours
AquaBubblez
Dear Dish-it, I am a girl and I am 11 and I love this boy is is like 17 and I don't know what to do? If he likes me? If my parents will agree? I don't know what to DO PLEASE HELP!
reply about 19 hours
AquaBubblez
Oh sorry just go to kids help line then
reply about 19 hours
rebelfeminist
rebelfeminist posted in Style:
Short hair, it's a lot easier to take care of and it's really cute.
reply about 24 hours
RosyLPS123
RosyLPS123 posted in Friends:
Ok I have 3 Bff's Suzanna, Marrisa, and Paisley but the first one is very nice and my one ive known for longer but you know here I go she doesn't want me to make any more and always says who do like better? please help what do I tell her or do!
reply 1 day

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