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Dear Dish-it: Breaking Up - Without Breaking His Heart

Dear Dish-it,


How do I break up with someone but not hurt them? The person I'm with is madly in love with me but I don't think that this online dating thing is working out. I think I may need to end it. What should I do?


Dazed And Confused


Dear D&C,


Breaking up is never easy and it should always be done nicely. Even if the relationship is ending, it’s important to remember that the other person has feelings, and may be hurt when you break up with them. Here’s how to break up nicely.


Make sure you know what to say. Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for the relationship to end, think out what you will say. Avoid any clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me.” Be upfront about why the relationship is ending. Be honest and truthful, but avoid being too blunt and saying unnecessarily mean things just to cause pain. Break up nicely by carefully phrasing what you want to say.


Don’t put it off. Many people put off a breakup because it can be extremely uncomfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a jerk hoping that they will break up with you first, and don’t avoid them or pretend that nothing is wrong. Do not tell your friends that you’re breaking up before you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is no “right” time to break up, so stop putting it off until you find that right time.


Be understanding of their reaction. They may be angry, insulted, or sad. Understand that this is a normal part of the breakup process. Do not be angry or defensive, and do not try to comfort them as if you were still their boyfriend or girlfriend. This can only create drama. Be firm but gentle about your choice.


Give them space. Cutting ties is difficult, even if you’re the one to do the breaking up. Even though you may still feel attached for them and feel bad, especially if they cry, that is what their friends are for.


Sound Off

How would you break up with someone NICELY? Have your say by leaving a comment below this story!


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Comments

Abinabee

Abinabee wrote:

I agree with AngelThumbelina, if u don't start one u dont have 2 end it.If I was u I wu...
commented: Sat Feb 22, 2014

XxCryXx

XxCryXx wrote:

Im not trusting love again if I break up with my bf
commented: Mon Feb 10, 2014

21inkiepielover
I want to break up with Travis..,only if Kano was real..Dx
commented: Sun Dec 01, 2013

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
Im sorry for saying this but your Dads the adult. He knows what hes doing. Hopefully he will get through this phase fast.  Talk to him if you can and tell him how its upsetting you. But its not that serious unless he smokes for the long period of time and then theres the chance of getting cancer. 
reply 39 minutes
laura562
laura562 posted in Family Issues:
You should tell an adult you trust. This is very important and you should not keep it to yourself
reply about 1 hour
petpalace
I asked why , he said it's relaxing. I ca
reply about 2 hours
jordand08
Just ask your dad about it...
reply about 2 hours
petpalace
When I was little my dad used to smoke but he quit. Then a few months ago I found  a lighter in my dad coat. He said my uncle has asked my dad to carry it and had forgot to get it back i believed him. But  i have seen him smoke and I don't know what to do. If I tell my mum they might get a divorce because she wouldn't put up with it. I'm so mad at him I'm not going to speak to him. What do I do ? Should I tell my mum ? Should  I tell my sister ?
reply about 2 hours

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