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Dear Dish-It: All My Friends Have Valentines

Feb 02, 2015

Dear Dish-it,

All of my friends have Valentines and my BF just broke up with me. It hurts to see them with their BFs knowing mine is gone. How do I deal with it?

lonely one in the corner

Valentine's DayAll My Friends Have Valentines...
 

Dear LOITC,

First thing’s first – you’re not alone! I did a bit of digging and it seems like December and January – the months before Valentine’s Day – are the top months for breakups of the whole year! So, as much as it hurts, you may feel a little relieved to know that you’re not the only one going through this now.

Distractions, Distractions

Although there’s no cure for a broken heart, I recommend that you do everything in your power to keep your mind off of moping. That means concentrating on school and homework, joining a new club or team, helping your mom and dad out more around the house, spending lots of quality time with friends and just generally staying busy.

Talk the Talk

If you’re still feeling crummy about the whole thing, try talking to your friends and family members (people you trust) about how you feel. Sometimes things can feel extra hard when you keep your emotions bottled up inside. Spilling your guts to someone you trust and having a good cry could help you move on from this breakup.

Rid of Him Ritual

Another thing that helps some people let go of an ex is to have some sort of ritual or ceremony that marks the first step in your journey to healing your heart. This could involve cleaning all the stuff you have that reminds you of your ex out of your room and putting it into the trash. You may even want to invite your friends to help and support you do this!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

hasti10
hasti10 posted in Friends:
Thank u guys :) :) :) :) :)
reply about 2 hours
astucieuse331
astucieuse331 posted in Friends:
I feel like that too! I know where you're coming from, but believe me, I've moved on. Those people? Bleh. Not worth my time, and certainly don't deserve me.  You described me exactly: good with people and friends, but don't have a best friend at all, and others really don't care whether I'm lonely or sad. Well, it might sound crazy, but guess what? I've found a friend in me instead of others. I've learned to accept that you can't please everyone, and that some of the fish in the sea aren't worth wasting your time on. So I've become independent, to learn to depend on myself more than to rely on others. Trust me, it works, and I think it'll work for you. But if you really need a friend, me and @alienincognito are here to talk to you if you need us! @alienincognito: LOL! DUDE! That's HOW I THINK! Whenever one of my friends talks behind my back or backstabs me, I'm like, "Ah, whatever, 'screw em, I'll let Karma take over! I ain't letting those negative peeps ruin my day." Maybe you, me, and hasti10 could start a group where we can talk to each other!  :) :D 8)
reply about 10 hours
astucieuse331
astucieuse331 posted in Friends:
I've always felt the same way. My one best friend gossiped behind my back, used me, all that girl stuff. She took me for advantage and we had a bunch of fights because of her finding a new friend and completely acting as if I didn't exist, and I told her to give me at least some attention every once in a while if she can't even continue to talk to me daily. And.. I lost her. Well, she lost me. We both lost each other. But then I realized.. it's the people that you least expect to be nice to you you'll find kindness in. Why? Based on personal experience, and I'll tell you the story: For my gym class, me and my peers were supposed to make a group for a dance. This was when my best friend had found a new friend already, and the time at which we had a few fights because of that. Of course, I relied on my best friend to count me in her dance group. At lunchtime, I sat together with my best friend, and we ate our lunches in silence. All of a sudden, I brought up the dance groups and asked her straightforwardly: "Can I join your group?" No reply. "Kelly, can I join your group?" No reply. "I mean, since our class is uneven, I found it fair that there'd be a group of five, you know?" None at all. Kelly ignored me straight off the bat, leaving me speechless. My mind raced with thoughts, and I thought, maybe it's not worth having Kelly as a friend. A few days later, we were playing Dodgeball for gym. I was on Kelly's team, and overheard her talking with her new friends about who to pick for the dance group. One of her friends mentioned me, and Kelly said: "Oh no, we shouldn't pick her because _____ (I don't know what she said then)." I was shocked, but was anticipating it, so when the time came to choose groups, I saw my friend, Luke, ask two girls, Cher and Bridgette, to join their group. Surprisingly, Cher and Bridgette actually accepted him, and so I thought, "Wow, if they accepted Luke, they might accept me aswell!" and so built up the courage to ask them if I could join. Even though Cher and Bridgette were mean to me sometimes, I knew that I had to risk it and see what'd happen. Afterall, rejection is just another opportunity to find a better group. Little did I know, it'd be the best choice of my life. They were so happy, and even thanked me for joining them! I was speechless once more; I never knew that the peers that I thought I would never be friends with would actually be my friends!  So yeah, that's what I learnt, and I never regretted learning that fact. Ever since then, though, I've learnt not to trust people as much as I used to anymore. I learnt that independency is what works for me, what I was meant for in terms of socializing or working. But, other things may work for you. If you still want a friend, you can be independent and wait for the right person. However, if you still want a real friend, you can wait, but still mingle (hang out) with other people! I I'm not going to make fun of you because I know how you've felt, just as I stated in my past problem before. But you can move on from those friends, they're not worth your time and certainly don't deserve you as a friend. Trust me, if it's meant to be, you'll definitely find a true friend. But if it's not, you may become like me, finding happiness in my own way. I want to remind you though-- you don't need someone to stay happy, or keep you company. This may sound silly, but you can even have your own invisible friends! I've had one, but that's very rarely for me. It's not silly though if you see the general idea; usually these friends are made from different dimensions of your personality or just because of will. There's a lot more fish in the sea, though, so I'm sure you'll find a true friend that's meant for you  :) Take care, and I hope you'll find a true friend soon!
reply 1 day
ts01
ts01 posted in Friends:
im so sorry you girls feel that way.true friends are there, its just easier to find users because they are more plentiful. dont give up, you will find real friends eventually
reply 1 day
lolflowergirl
lolflowergirl posted in Friends:
i feel alone too
reply 1 day

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