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Dear Dish-It, I'm Losing My Best Guy Friend

Advice and help for teens on friendship, love, crushes and relationships.
Advice for Teens on Friendships

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

Hey, I've got a problem. My best guy friend keeps ignoring me. He hangs around the cool kids. I want to hang around him but all these pretty, popular girls just swarm around him and I don't want to be near them. I don't know why we have drifted so far apart. When he's at home, and when I'm at his house, he acts the way he always has - but when we're at school he acts so much different! I've talked to him on the phone, and given him notes on how I feel, but he doesn't take it seriously. He thinks I'm just playing around but I'm not! I know if I talk to him face-to-face I'll just cry like a big baby. Plz HELP ME!
Sk8er_Gurl1414


Dear Sk8er_Gurl1414,

This is obviously bothering you a lot. This guy is being a bit of a putz, but the friendship sounds like it's still a keeper, so here's my advice - talk to him. So what if you cry like a baby, maybe this guy needs to see that to understand how much he's hurting you. He's not getting it through notes, as you said. He's obviously getting all goofy over the attention he's getting from "pretty, popular girls" and it's clouding his judgement. Sure, he can be friends with more than just you, but he shouldn't diss the ones who've been by him through thick and thin, like you have. Tell him, face-to-face, how much his actions are bothering you. It's the only answer.


Dear Dish-It,

There are these 2 guys at my school... the three of us, along with 3 other people, are really, really good friends. Well, I really, really like this one guy (I'll call him Bob,) but I'm not sure if he likes me back. We flirt all the time and we spend a ton of time talkin' and bein' together and we tell each other all our secrets. The problem is that the other guy (aka Jim,) told me he likes me the other day. I don't like him back (at least not that way.) A dance is coming up and both have asked me to it but I don't want to hurt either one's feelings! What should I do?
Cheerchick07


Dear Cheerchick07,

If you truly don't want to hurt either one's feelings, you'd have to buck-up and go stag. You'd also have to never date anyone for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, I don't think you'd like that option. It seems like you've got a Friends dilemma on your hands. You're Rachel, and Bob and Jim are Joey and Ross. What's a girl to do?! Well, be true to your heart, go for the one you like but be kind and sweet to the one you just think of as a pal. These situations are a part of life and you might find yourself as the "pal" one day, so think of how you'd like to be treated if you were Jim. Explain to Jim that you only think of him as a bud, and that you're going to the dance with Bob. At the dance, don't flaunt the fact that you're with Bob in front of Jim. Keep it casual. Hopefully, everyone will be okay and your friendships won't suffer. Good luck!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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Comments

-RadioRebel;

-RadioRebel; wrote:

Lost mine :/
commented: Wed Mar 06, 2013

SummerLuver15

SummerLuver15 wrote:

LoL I know exactly how that feels. Pretty popular girls surrounding someone who previou...
commented: Tue Mar 05, 2013

Bambi01_2357766
i feel your pain the same thing happen to me...but ten times worse
commented: Tue Mar 05, 2013

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Poll-3

Best Way to Say, "I Don't Dig You"?

  • Be straight up and say, "Dude, you're not for me."
  • Say nothin' - ignore them until they get the hint.
  • Set them up with someone else.
  • Do nothing - it's nice to have people crushin' on me!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

CarnivalDay
"Kirsteeeeen" wrote:I think you should go. It might be difficult but you never know. You might find something to talk about with his fiance and find a way to talk to her! Or you could be more social with other family. The only way to beat being unsocial in big groups is to put yourself into the situation and learn. You could actually have a great time :)Just relax, be yourself. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves so ask lots. It'll keep conversation going and you'll learn about possible later conversation topics. Also smile and be friendly. Make small talk. Remember you're there to celebrate a happy time in someone's life. You might not like it but it's their big day, one of the biggest in their life. And your dad and sister are going so you could always stick around them if socializing doesn't work. Sorry for late reply! ^-^ Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. Problem is, only my sister has anything to wear and my dad is fretting over something that will match, but I think that was just sorted out. I'm picky over what to wear and I'm not aloud to wear boots or leggings, which I practically live in. Though I'm probably only going to stay for a few hours since the dog's not able to go to the kennel right now. 
reply about 1 hour
GirLovesPiggy
GirLovesPiggy posted in Friends:
This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
reply about 7 hours
AlphaT
AlphaT posted in Style:
Wear bigger clothes. Heck, I wear a 2-3 X
reply about 17 hours
DisneyanimeLover
"ThunderSpirit" wrote:Wow. We have more in common than I thought.I had the same problem [except she was a little less mean] and this is the advice I was given. Don't exactly go up to her and say, "I don't wanna be friends," because although she is mean, she still might be hurt. Just don't really make it official, but slowly drift apart from her. Try to meet new people, maybe there's someone great you just haven't met yet. And maybe she's having problems of her own, not like that's an excuse. But in the end, if she does apologize to you, she might be a friend worth keeping, but those insults were pretty serious, not something best friends would do, and you probably wouldn't forgive her. I get that. Thanks for the good advice! I don`t see her often so drifting away is the smartest idea. Although I see her at family parties and stuff cause she is a family friend. I`ll try and drift away from her. If she gets better at being kind I`ll be her friend again most likely. Thanks! 
reply about 20 hours
ThunderSpirit
ThunderSpirit posted in Friends:
Wow. We have more in common than I thought. I had the same problem [except she was a little less mean] and this is the advice I was given. Don't exactly go up to her and say, "I don't wanna be friends," because although she is mean, she still might be hurt. Just don't really make it official, but slowly drift apart from her. Try to meet new people, maybe there's someone great you just haven't met yet. And maybe she's having problems of her own, not like that's an excuse. But in the end, if she does apologize to you, she might be a friend worth keeping, but those insults were pretty serious, not something best friends would do, and you probably wouldn't forgive her. I get that.
reply about 20 hours

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