I keep saying stupid things and messing up with my friends and now they hate me. /.\ Don't say "they don't deserve you" or something, because I don't deserve them. They're great friends and I'm just... stupid.
I'm sorry dear but things do get better and its not your fault. Everyone messes up, its just a part a life. If you need to talk and explain to me with more info you can, I'm here. :)
^^This. You're not stupid either. Everybody makes mistakes and messes things up.
Don't make your mom get irritated or she might start abusing you too. Talk to a counselor at school or something and figure out a way, like living with a relative or something.
A counsellor is a good idea but talking to your mom is more important. She's your guardian. Don't worry about irritating her, tell her how you feel. Communication is important and the fear of getting abused should never ever get in between your relationship unless it's a previous factor in that relationship (not one with someone else). You have a right to tell her how you feel and have a discussion with her about it. I'm sure you can come to some sort of understanding. And if not, then maybe talk to someone outside the family. But don't go behind her back and talk to someone else about it unless it's 100% necessary for your family. She needs to know how you feel.
I know it must feel awful. But you have to remember that your parents still love you, they just don't have time to show it sometimes. Autism requires a lot of work, attention, and support. Unfortunately that's a sacrifice you make for family. Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. They're doing this for the family.