This is really strange for me to write to you because I have never done anything like this before but I need an outside POV from my situation and I need help. These days, I don't know what I'm doing or what tomorrow is going to bring. But before I get into how I feel, I am going to explain my situation a bit first. So let's get started.
My family is a family of 6 though my oldest sibling has left the house to live else where because he's 26 years old. Anyway, I argue a lot in my family in fact there's fights everyday either with me or just between other family members. I don't remember a time that we didn't fight... Sad ain't it? But I try and not let it bother me. My mom and me have the best and worst relationship out there. At one time, we understand ourselves completely but then something happens and the arguments stop... It always ends with her angry and me frustrated, crying and angry... I have cried more in the past year and half (That is when it got worst) Then my entire lifespan so far. Plus since she had a bad childhood, she tries to make everything different from hers but she ALWAYS compares me to her. I am a different person than her and she just doesn't understand that! I always feel really bad after because she wants me to be the perfect child but I can't and I never will be. I am just me. Like today, I punched a wall because I just wanted to feel something else than sadness and worst thing is that I fake smiles and optimism at school so nobody knows. My friends don't understand even though I have told them but now I brush it off. It's not their life so they don't need to understand it. But that's my situation...
Now that you have heard something about me, I need help. I'm sending myself in the abyss. I am losing control. I feel as if everything is slipping from my fingers and everything is falling apart. I don't know what's happening to me! I am losing myself and I don't know what to do! It's hard to keep up my grades, to make sure that everything is done, that I go to my activities after school. It feels so hard to do right now... I throw things and slam doors when I am super mad. I don't have anger issues but I keep in so many emotions that I explode when I can't take them anymore. My world seems to be crumbling before my eyes. My family is in debt, my parents might split and my brothers hate me. My dog, running, drawing and books are my only escape.
I don't know what to do...
about 4 hours
snickers mkay and Im closing this thread now :)
BR yush you is fabulous too mate :D
about 8 hours
Your welcomes and I thinks that we can close this thread now mkay :)
about 8 hours