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Dragon Keepers #5: The Dragon in the Sea

Dragon Keepers book number 5: The Dragon in the Sea is an adventure filled story following Jesse and Daisy as help their dragon, Emmy, as she tries to protect an egg which holds her baby brother! Back to Article

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Evea
Evea wrote:
2013-07-05 15:53:35 -0700

Pretty good for the target audience.

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Graciepeaceout
Graciepeaceout wrote:
2013-06-27 10:55:38 -0700

it is ok

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bogart521_2459275
bogart521_2459275 wrote:
2013-06-26 22:00:15 -0700

That is a book that i would like to read.

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;TheGreatOneIsHere
;TheGreatOneIsHere wrote:
2013-06-18 11:45:46 -0700

Public

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kittykat124
kittykat124 wrote:
2013-06-10 23:02:17 -0700

boring

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WizardGirl3311
WizardGirl3311 wrote:
2013-06-10 12:43:32 -0700

This looks so cool!!! I gotta read this!

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Jolly-Rancher206
 Lotta quick fixes here. "brunt earth, the brunt smell..." You mean burnt, right? "I decided to get to the top...I run up...and grabbed" Tense issues. You should change run to ran. “I had climbed buildings and other stuff” How about other structures? “They all had cuts and bruises covering the surface of their skin.” Could just be nitpicking, but that sounds a bit awkward. I suggest on the skin or you can cut that part out all together. “An intimidating enemy was definitely what I though of at first sight” I'd write, He struck me as an intimidating enemy at first sight. “Purple aura surrounded his body and his hands had the same expect it was amore intense, vibrant purple.” What? I think you accidentally omitted something. You're trying to compare his powers to someone else, right...? "augmented my energy" I know what you're trying to say, but I there are better words. Summoned. Mustered. Magnified. Intensified. There's some other stuff, but nothing major. The only things I'm seeing are awkward wordings. Don't worry to much about grammatical things until you're done with everything. I think it's easier to be able to examine the work in its entirety.
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Taidoku
Taidoku posted in Say Anything:
O: O: O: O: O: O: O: O: YOUR EVILE? AHHHHHHH
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Thunderpandapaw
"Taidoku" wrote:EVEN THOUGH I JUST USED EXCLAMATION MARKS THERE, DOESNT MEAN IM EVIL, BUT IT MEANS YOU TRICKED ME INTO PUTTING EXCLAMATION MARKS, MERE MORTAL Yassss, I am evil. You now know my secret. o.o 
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Taidoku
Taidoku posted in Say Anything:
EVEN THOUGH I JUST USED EXCLAMATION MARKS THERE, DOESNT MEAN IM EVIL, BUT IT MEANS YOU TRICKED ME INTO PUTTING EXCLAMATION MARKS, MERE MORTAL
reply 19 minutes
Taidoku
Taidoku posted in Say Anything:
"Thunderpandapaw" wrote:It's just a chat forum! You can talk about anything you want! :3Sorry, I just like typing with exclamation points.  Exclamations marks are EVILE!!!
reply 21 minutes