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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2014

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

176 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

KeepOnSmiling
KeepOnSmiling posted in Friends:
There is this guy at my school know my best friend likes, the problem is I like him as well and I think he may have been flirting with me. My friend says its okay but I don't think she's being honest. He's the first guy that I've liked that actually notices me. I like him but I don't want to lose my best friend. What do I do?
reply about 5 hours
KeepOnSmiling
KeepOnSmiling posted in Friends:
There is this guy at my school know my best friend likes, the problem is I like him as well and I think he may have been flirting with me. My friend says its okay but I don't think she's being honest. He's the first guy that I've liked that actually notices me. I like him but I don't want to lose my best friend. What do I do?
reply about 5 hours
Alexis7343
Alexis7343 posted in Friends:
Yes, both online and in person. It sucks when they say i did it its just they bullied me and I got back at them just 10x harder! I'm a nice person but I can be a real stuck up B!^** if you wanna mess with me. If I get back at you your gonna get it bad.
reply about 8 hours
GlimmeringSky16
Not really throughout my life but I guess since bullying is repeated teasing, once in fifth grade these kids made up the joke that my name(Su for those you that don't know) stood for StupidUgly, which I mean wasn't THAT bad but I was like what, 10 xD I mean I let it roll off but did end up crying in the shower once. My mom caught me and made me explain everything and made it better. So really, instead of hiding it I recommend talking to an adult about it if you're ever bullied, even tho keeping it a secret may seem like a good idea.  Ever since then I've never been bullied. I'm thankful fo that c;
reply about 9 hours
ha1l13
ha1l13 posted in Friends:
YEs I have been bullied. A lot. People who I think are my friends are back stabbers. They suddenly just like turn on me. I've had rumoursspread about me and I was so sad. I hated being bullied. But the best thing to do if you are being bullied is to hold your head high and not cry. Because if you show a single tear that is what the bully wants And it will take you as an easy target and will bully you more and more and more and more. And bullies won't stop until you stand up to them.
reply about 9 hours

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