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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2014

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

183 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

carolyna_03
carolyna_03 posted in Friends:
Dear dish it, plz help my friends treat me like a third wheel everyday I'm happy but then I'm ether getting left out pushed to the curb or something like that. I want to ditch them but I don't have anyone else to talk to or hang with, I was lonely at school because they weren't there help! Wat do I do
reply about 3 hours
Flamesword15
Flamesword15 posted in Friends:
Friends are hard to find, I will say that, but it's easy to make new friends:)<3
reply about 7 hours
Colorpaw
Colorpaw posted in Family Issues:
  "Colorpaw" wrote: God yes! My mom would kill me if she found me on this site! -.- It gets annoying sometimes. My dad is strict too, but maybe not as much. I have to keep sites where I have any kind of interaction with people I haven't met face to face a secret, and it gets hard sometimes because I'm on quite a few roleplay sites which obviously involve chatting/interacting with people. I trust everybody on those sites though, but try telling my mom that.     My parents have gotten a lot better since then, but they're still strict about the chat sites and all. My mom is still very strict, but not nearly as much as then. I guess it's because I've gotten older. I'll be 13 in a few days. c: ALSO. If any of you saw my other post, pretend you didn't xD For some reason I thought I'd posted the original forum post. xDD I guess that's what happens when you haven't been on a site in a couple of years, you start forgetting things.  
reply about 7 hours
tweenblogger
Thanks so much.  :love
reply about 8 hours
Shannyboo3
I know exactly how you feel.  I'm going through the same thing. The thing to know is none of it's your fault.  And you can visit your mom or your dad.  You can try to get your mind of it by hanging out with your friends at school.  I feel your pain.   And I feel bad that this kind of stuff happens in life.  But god will make everything better. :)
reply about 8 hours

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