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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

HeHasRisen

HeHasRisen wrote:

Im gonna have a sister in a few days but im impatient
commented: Wed Apr 23, 2014

JesseWesse

JesseWesse wrote:

i got replaced my dad had a new baby now i hate my dad ): no other girl could make me h...
commented: Wed Apr 16, 2014

dance-dance-dance
I have an older brother who's about to go to college, and a younger sister who gets the...
commented: Mon Apr 14, 2014

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

OptimisticJollygirl
You are perfect the way you are.
reply 25 minutes
InternetOwl
InternetOwl posted in Friends:
I'm not sure whether you have actual depression or not (Ask your doctor if you feel you do, they'll be able to help. ^^), but I'm really sorry you feel depressed. I've been there too, and it really does feel like no one cares.   I know you said it's awkward, but try talking to your dad about it. You said he's the only one who seems to listen, so I'm sure he will listen and try to understand. If you start feeling really depressed every day, try doing things to make you feel happier. I don't know what you like to do, but you should do things like relaxing, reading, talking to people and spending more time outside. Smiling more often can help relieve stress and make you happier as well. c: Try meeting new people too. It seems as though your current friends are bringing you down, so you can try to talk to them if you like or find more friends who'll listen and care about you (however, try to keep your old friends as well. They are your friends after all, and it's hard being lonely). You've got friends on here too. But please don't think about doing anything harmful to yourself. You might not be thinking like that now, but being depressed can lead people to this and it's really not the answer.  Good luck! ^u^  
reply about 4 hours
FloraTheWolf
FloraTheWolf posted in Friends:
And you can add me as a friend if you want :D
reply about 5 hours
FloraTheWolf
FloraTheWolf posted in Friends:
I know what its like to feel depressed. And its hard to get out of it. Try thinking of good things, and if you are feeling lonely and have no friends around then you can talk to me if you want :3 When you start feeling depressed, try doing things you like, going out to a park or somewhere to be alone and just relax. Maybe go on walks once in a while. And even if people don't seem to care about you, I do :) So if you start feeling worse you can chat with me. Try not to think of dangerous things like suicide or cutting yourself or even running away though because it may sometimes seem like it could be the answer but it really isn't it'll make your life worse and more messed up. I hope you feel better soon! :D
reply about 5 hours
twyla215
twyla215 posted in Family Issues:
"just for fun" wrote:Dear Dash-It and Friends,(this is my sissys account..we both use it)I'm a girl of course.. And I've got 13 this july 03.. and the thhing is I don't feel like my growth is perfect for my age! I'm really skinny.. I like being skinny! 'Cause my body looks great! And any boys could be impressed by my body! ;)My hight is only 4'8!! A 13 years old girl is only 4'8!! yeah I feel really sad! As for my cousin she's 5'3 and she's skinny too but she's tall!! I feel bad when she bullies me..So Is there a quick way for me to get tall in 1 month?yes the white stuff is normal its dischargeAlso I haven't started my period. I get white gloomy stuffs that smells funny. And I haven't talked to my mom or anyone about it yet. I'm really ashamed..but is this normal?And I think my ###### are not normal for my "puny" I mean small height or body! Their growing and growing! Their size is 29!! I'm feeling guilty! Is there any exercises to make them smaller?Thats that help me....
reply about 15 hours

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