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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2014

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

177 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Jelly3
Jelly3 posted in Style:
Jeans and a top 
reply about 7 hours
koolcat02
koolcat02 posted in Style:
pajamas :)
reply about 8 hours
nj_guy84
nj_guy84 posted in Family Issues:
Spacekitty14: I understand your situation. I have family members who have varying degrees of autism. I understand that it seems unfair to you that more attention goes to your brothers, but you have to remember that they didn't ask for this. They probably don't want to deal with the problems that they are facing. As far as giving up certain types of food, those are just sacrifices that a lot of people have to make. Just try to learn more about their condition and see what you can do to help, then you won't have to feel "left out" or "ignored" by your parents. Just be patient and understand the situation. I hope that all goes well for you and your family
reply about 14 hours
SpaceKitty14
Both of my brothers have autism. I am 12 and a girl. I also have a 3 y/o sister. It always seems like my parents pay more attention to them then me. I don't want to tell them about it because they will think I'm being selfish. But i can't do ANYTHING fun. My little brother is allergic to half the ingredients in most candies, so I can never go trick-or-treating. And I have not had eggs since I was 3. I always have to do everything by myself. How do I deal with this?
reply about 15 hours
Clarity11
Clarity11 posted in Friends:
buterball14... i actually met her in reality and she got an acount on here and i know here a little to well :P
reply about 20 hours

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