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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

folarin123

folarin123 wrote:

this thing happend to me before i was excited at first but later my sister took my s...
commented: Wed Aug 13, 2014

TapGirl50

TapGirl50 wrote:

Tell your Mom how you feel she will understand!!! Tell her that you feel down in the du...
commented: Tue Aug 05, 2014

Blitzie

Blitzie wrote:

This has happened to me too, believe me, bellowing at your mum does not work!...
commented: Fri Aug 01, 2014

there are 166 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

AsianBeauty18
AsianBeauty18 posted in Friends:
The best thing to do is to be simple and direct in a nice and tactful way. You can start by saying, "I need to talk to you. I know you really believe we have a friendship, but I don't feel comfortable with you on that level yet. This doesn't mean we will never talk again, we can be nice to each other, just that we aren't friends like you think we are." Try to be as nice as possible!!!!
reply about 7 hours
brunostar
brunostar posted in Friends:
more details please?
reply about 7 hours
pinksaran
pinksaran posted in Friends:
One of the boys in my grade is telling that I'm his friend. But I know I'm not his friend. What should solve the problem?
reply about 7 hours
hugebear
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
Ello Bun and Im sorry for saying this but your brothers been the brat and its normal though. Erm me suggestion is to keep the diary for one week of all the horrible things he done on you and then tell him and your Mum you want the family meeting about it and then show the list and make him explain each thing he done and say it has to stop. He probably wont listen but its worth trying and good luck :love [whispers I has other ideas too like hiding something of his and saying you will only give it back if he gives you back your whatever he has taken but Im not gonna give this advises ;-)]
reply about 11 hours
AsianBeauty18
It is normal behavior for a young teenage boy, but if it gets out of hand, your parents should have a private conversation with him or get a counselor.
reply about 12 hours

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