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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2014

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

179 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

puppybuddy123
puppybuddy123 posted in Friends:
It's ok. I have gotten into things like this, some things you can't mend and somethings you can. You could try to make it up to her/him. Like invite him/her out somewhere. If they accept, do not beg or try to pry into the reason. Gradually ask them questions and once in a while bring up the topic. I'm deeply sorry for you. I just had gotten out of grade 5 and It's a very crucial year in your life and you need your friends to get you through it. I'm sorry if this wasn't a help to you, but I hope you get your friend back!
reply 16 minutes
oswa11
oswa11 posted in Friends:
"Delancey" wrote:You can call her and text her. If she doesn't respond then visit her home and make her feel that you're with her no matter what happens. Suicide isn't a solution at all. that
reply about 1 hour
EmoGuyWhoIsn'tReallyThatEmo
Thank you ALL, you helped me so much, She is currently resting at my house as her parents are out of state
reply about 1 hour
PotatoRainbows
PotatoRainbows posted in Friends:
My friend in real life sent me a message on the phone this summer saying that i'm not friends with her anymore. She didn't provide any details in her text or put any reasons why she decided to not be friends with me. I thought the reason why she wasn't friends with me was because I didn't plan anything to do with her during the summer, so I sent a text back saying that I had really missed her, and I was sorry for not planning to do anything with her. I didn't talk to her a lot on the phone during the summer and that was the first text i sent to her after she sent that text.   Do you think negligence is the reason why she isn't friends with me? What will happen when I enter 5th grade, and all of a sudden she doesn't talk to me anymore. How will i ever be friends with her again? What should I say to her at the beginning of 5th grade? Love, J.H
reply about 15 hours
prettypinkgirl333
rumours are not good
reply about 17 hours

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