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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

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Comments

anna9grace7

anna9grace7 wrote:

once your mom has baby that's what shes gonna focus on its someone new to her life som...
commented: Fri Sep 05, 2014

ElfyKathy

ElfyKathy wrote:

Don't worry. She probably trusts you to be responsible and babies take a LOT of work. E...
commented: Fri Sep 05, 2014

Mrocks05

Mrocks05 wrote:

i was once the youngest too because i had anthor older sibling but then two more little...
commented: Fri Sep 05, 2014

there are 171 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

AlphaT
AlphaT posted in Friends:
The fact that this girl has a crush on you is enough for me to say...stick with the friend.
reply about 3 hours
american_brit
american_brit posted in Friends:
Nope. Not at all... It's just... too hard, ya know? XD
reply about 5 hours
Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
"american_brit" wrote: "Boysrock50" wrote: Mate, just.. LET HER GO, LET HER GO, DON'T TALK TO HER ANYMORE LET HER GO, LET HER GO, IT IS HER YOU MUST IGNORE YOU SHOULDN'T CARE, WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY, YOU SHOULD JUST MOVE ON, YOUR FRIEND IS MORE IMPORTANT ANYWAY Nailed it XD Beautiful. All that friendship, compassion, mild rejection... poured out  into one song. Amazing. Tear jerker right there! *sobs* Okay... now that I'm done be extremely melodramatic, I agree 100% with what has been said. Loyalty to your friend is definitely what's best in the situation -and you've seem to be following through on this. Good. Now... can you just leave the girl alone? It might be better if you just ignore her.  thankyou, thankyou :P can you guess where my inspiration was from? :D
reply about 5 hours
american_brit
american_brit posted in Friends:
"Boysrock50" wrote: Mate, just.. LET HER GO, LET HER GO, DON'T TALK TO HER ANYMORE LET HER GO, LET HER GO, IT IS HER YOU MUST IGNORE YOU SHOULDN'T CARE, WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY, YOU SHOULD JUST MOVE ON, YOUR FRIEND IS MORE IMPORTANT ANYWAY Nailed it XD Beautiful. All that friendship, compassion, mild rejection... poured out  into one song. Amazing. Tear jerker right there! *sobs* Okay... now that I'm done be extremely melodramatic, I agree 100% with what has been said. Loyalty to your friend is definitely what's best in the situation -and you've seem to be following through on this. Good. Now... can you just leave the girl alone? It might be better if you just ignore her. 
reply about 5 hours
Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
Mate, just.. LET HER GO, LET HER GO, DON'T TALK TO HER ANYMORE LET HER GO, LET HER GO, IT IS HER YOU MUST IGNORE YOU SHOULDN'T CARE, WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY, YOU SHOULD JUST MOVE ON, YOUR FRIEND IS MORE IMPORTANT ANYWAY Nailed it XD
reply about 6 hours

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