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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2014

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

179 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

hugebear
hugebear posted in Friends:
Im sorry that you has such friends that seems to enjoy entertaining themselves by being mean to you.  They is just people that you hangs out with cos you says you hasnt anyone else to hang out with.... not friends.  I doesnt think you should think of them as friends either and then its gonna be easier to move on. Is there any way you can hang out with other people by eg [what other posters said] taking up the new activities? And you has friends on KW :) :D
reply about 5 hours
-Gwen9--
-Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
If they call you fat and stupid, they are not your friends. Your so called 'friends' are just using you. You need to find your truest friends. Clearly, they are not your truest friends.
reply about 5 hours
PrincessAmelia
PrincessAmelia posted in Style:
Normally just a hairband or clips on the either side of my side divided hair.
reply about 10 hours
PrincessAmelia
PrincessAmelia posted in Friends:
Society will not be soft to you always, just because YOU are soft. You must have a strong background. Also they are not your friends. You know what they are doing to you?They are packing a gift box looking all attractive (friendship) and filled with hurt ...like Pandora's box.  Just move on. Be alone n discover more of the world. Or just make new friends.I was in a state like you some months back. Now I moved on n I have 3 best friends. That time I thought too that they r my only friends. You will not find the world until you set out for the world.
reply about 10 hours
disney princess
They are not your friends, really. You should leave them and move on. This might sound difficult, but being alone is better than being with an untrue friend. You'll make better friends soon, anyway. Plus, WE are here for you! :D
reply about 11 hours

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