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Dear Dish-it: My Mom's New Baby Replaced Me

Aug 30, 2014

Dear Dish-it,

My mom just had a new baby, and now she won't pay any attention to me.  I feel like I've been replaced. What can I do so that I'm not forgotten?

The Other Daughter

Dear The Other Daughter,

It's natural to feel like you've been put on the back burner when your mom brings a new child into the home. But I promise you that she's not ignoring you on purpose. Having a baby is extremely exhausting because they require constant feeding and changing, and they'll often keep moms up all night. Trust that she loves you and that she's doing her best to balance the family dynamic.

Offer To Help

If you feel like you and your mom aren't getting to spend enough time together, there are things you can do. Offer to help your mom. Whether you ease her workload by cooking dinner or doing housework, or by helping her with the baby, this will relieve some of her stress, and free up time for her to spend with you. Showing an interest in your new sibling's well being will impress your mom. Get her to show you how to change the baby's diapers, feed her a bottle, hold her, or change her clothes. 

Express Your Feelings

If you do all this, and you still feel like you're being ignored, you should tell your mom how you feel. But say it in a mature way that she will actually listen. If she doesn't let you help with the baby, tell her that you're trying to help so that you can spend more time with her. You could also suggest setting aside an evening each week to have a mother-daughter day where you guys do something fun together. Your new sister will, of course, need to be involved. But that's the reality of having a new sibling. They will always be a part of your life now. Once you get used to sharing your mom, you'll be much happier

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for The Other Daughter? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

179 Comments

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