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Dear Dish-It: My Best Friend's An Attention Seeker

Nov 23, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

Ever since boys started noticing my best friend, she’s been such an attention seeker. She tries to act overly confident and wears revealing clothes. One minute she’ll be my friend, and as soon as there are boys around, it’s like I don’t even exist. I try to talk to her and she only pretends to listen while looking over my head at the boys behind me. It’s hard to be around her because she’s always trying to compete with me. What should I do?

Overlooked

Dear Overlooked,

As much as your best friend tries to appear confident, the act of attention seeking usually stems from a lack of confidence. If she was truly confident in who she is, your best friend wouldn’t need to act differently when boys are around or wear revealing clothes just to get them to notice her.

Tell Her How You Feel

If you haven’t already, you should try talking to your friend about your feelings. Don’t accuse her of anything; that will only make her defensive and probably start a fight. Just tell her that you feel like she ignores you when there are boys around, and that it makes you upset.

Friendship is More Important

The only way for your friendship to truly work is for you to support each other. That means letting each other have your moment instead of competing for the spotlight. You don’t want to wind up as frenemies. You’ll have a long lasting friendship if you both understand that your relationship is more important than boys.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Overlooked? Leave your comment below!

 

99 Comments

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What's Sure to Get His Attention?

  • Smile and giggle at all his jokes.
  • The bend-and-snap technique from Legally Blonde.
  • Follow him home from school every day - even though you live on the other side of town.
  • What's with the games? Just ask him out and stop playin' around already!

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

SimplyAda
I can relate very much.  :e  It happens a lot. But here's one thing, try not to date. At my middle school, everyone literally dates everybody and relationships never last. Part of the reason is that most of us aren't in that mature phase yet (mostly boys). As the days go by, we're growing. But, it's completely normal to have a crush on a boy. :) :thumbsup
reply 18 minutes
SmartSunnyShadow
Sorry for the late reply, but I'd love to help. If they don't want to talk to you, or don't like your jokes, don't talk to them. They probably don't like you, so you shouldn't try to make it better. You should hang out with your other friends. They'll make you feel better about yourself. If you don't have any friends in your class...that's the problem.  That's exactly what happened to me last year. But I started hanging out with the guys more, and they were really nice and had a lot in common with me. Maybe the guys will be nice to you and accept you. I hope I helped you. :)   
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Aw, that's sad. I know this is a late review, but I would love to help you make new friends. There are kids that do nasty things at every single school, trust me, you'll never find a perfect school, and if people are reporting this form of bullying, teachers are probably supervising children more, so don't worry about that. :) Now making new friends, ahh, that's very difficult. I can be shy myself, but it honestly depends. What I usually do is observe different groups of people, and see how they interact with each other. If the person seems nice, wait until the time is appropriate and greet them. A friendly "Hi, I'm new, could you maybe show me around, or help me with this, or tell me about this school?" That will start off a conversation. :)  As well, I tend to make jokes, or go to my funny side. I usually make way more friends that way. You could try to make slight jokes, and gradually make them less implied and more clear as you joke around.  If there are any other new kids, or shy kids, definitely talk to them. If there are any kids that look lonely, or sad, maybe take some time to approach them. If they look like the want to be left alone, leave them alone. If you're not sure, it's best if you see someone else interact with them first.  If you're bisexual, that doesn't really matter, and don't bring that fact up in a conversation. That's kind of personal, and when you get a little closer, you can say that. It's not really important, and necessary for people to know that. And it's personal too. So don't bring that up unless you really want to.  I hope i helped you! Sorry for the late advice. >_< 
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Several people are having the same problem as you. Whether they're the same gender or not, many people crush on some of their closest friends. So don't feel alone, remember that. I know this is some late advice, but I hope so far things are going good. Many people are feeling the urge of confessing like you. Yes, I think you should confess to her clearly, but when the time is right. She may not like you, but if you really really like her, you should absolutely confess to her. But be aware that confessing to one of your friends can ruin your friendship. You have to be cautious, confess when the time is right. 5 months may be long for you, but honestly, that's a short-term crush. Don't rush your confession, and don't give up unless you think you should. Getting over someone can be incredibly hard too, but you're either going to get over her, or confess to her. When the time is right, confess. When the time never seems to come, I'm sorry, but unfortunately, I think it's best if you get over her, because you have to be 100% sure before you confess to someone. You're risking your friendship to, so think if it's really worth it.  I hope I helped you. :) 
reply about 7 hours
vwala_12
vwala_12 posted in Friends:
I guess I mean I have been in a lot of drama since the school year started I also recommend if the bullying gets worst tell someone and don’t just walk away it will be worst if you do and if there gonna beat you up just run and tell a teacher or tell your parent so always keep alert!
reply about 8 hours