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Dear Dish-It, My Mom's an Attention Seeker

Dish-It serves up the best advice for teens!
Family Problems

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

My mom is a bit... odd when it comes to men. She dates a lot, and has gotten pregnant three times from three different guys - the results being me, my sister, and brother - or perhaps I should say half-sister and half-brother. I've never met my dad, my parents broke up when mom was still pregnant, and apparently by the time I was born she had another boyfriend. I don't really get to see my sister because her dad took her and moved all the way across the state. When my mom's single, she's really depressed. She'll grab the nearest person and chew their ear off about how she MUST be ugly and stupid if no guys are dating her and starts going on about how maybe this is someone's way of telling her she shouldn't be living. My grandmom and I try to talk to her, snap her out of it, but it never changes until she finds another guy (which tends to be after a week or two of whining) or gets back with a previous one. I love my mother dearly, but her depression bouts seem rather attention-seeky. What should I do? Is there anything I CAN do? If not, I at least feel kinda better that I could tell this to somebody. It's not like I'm suicidal over it or anything, but it's all so annoying!
IrkenWaffle


Dear IrkenWaffle,

Props to you for being very mature about this difficult situation. Your mom is definitely not being a very positive role model for you by putting men and her love life ahead of your happiness and safety. Not only do her actions affect your day-to-day life, they also affect how you must view love and relationships. It's important to remember, despite the example that your mom is giving you, that you do not need a guy in your life to make you happy or feel special. Love is great, but just being with someone for the sake of having someone there isn't good. It ends up making you feel worse about yourself, not better. There's not a whole lot you can do to make your mom change her ways. But you can tell her how you feel. It sounds like you are pretty close to your grandmother, so maybe you can talk to her about how you are feeling as well. There is not really an easy answer on how to remedy this situation, but maybe you can spend some time staying with your grandma while your mom sorts her messy love life out. Instead of worrying about hurting your mom's feelings, start putting your needs first. She is your mom and should be looking out for your well-being before hers or her boyfriends. I hope this has helped! Good luck.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Comments

    miz-wolf1

    miz-wolf1 wrote:

    there is no way i would even let the new boyfriends LIVE after one night
    commented: Wed Apr 23, 2014

    Liyah_Mahone

    Liyah_Mahone wrote:

    Maybe you would want to live with your grandma and not see your Mom like this or tell y...
    commented: Sat Jan 05, 2013

    kboo4eva

    kboo4eva wrote:

    u rite
    commented: Sun Dec 02, 2012

    there are 8 more comments

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    MissD
    MissD posted in Friends:
    You are welcome & Good Luck!
    reply about 1 hour
    snikko
    snikko posted in Friends:
    A prefect friend is a person that is always with you when you need  them.  THey have you back and they don'bully ou. They hang out with you. THey treat you as an equal. They stand up for you. And they don't laugh at your tureself.
    reply about 2 hours
    GottaLoveDance
    GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
    "MissD" wrote:This might seem obvious but is there anyone else you might be able to walk home with? I always try to solve problems simply first. If yes, than I encourage you to invite that person to walk home with you. If not - let's take a step back and figure our why you are feeling left out/ignored. Do your friends talk about things that you don't understand, do they block you from participating in the conversation? If you guys have to walk together and there is no choice in the matter - YOU be the initiator of great conversation. Confidently smile - and talk to BOTH of them at the same time. It's so helpful to be able to navigate a conversation generously. That means you be the one on the high road - ask questions, people love talking about things that are interesting to them. Ask questions and figure out what common things all three of you have together and before you know it your walk will be over. Hope this helps. Let us know what happens. Inclusivity totally kicks butt over exclusivity!  thank you soooo much for the amazing advice, unfortunately I don't really have a choice because my friend walks to my house where her mum picks her up so it would hurt her feelings if I said no to walking with her but ill definitely try yor suggestions in the second paragraph. Thanks
    reply about 3 hours
    MissD
    MissD posted in Friends:
    This might seem obvious but is there anyone else you might be able to walk home with? I always try to solve problems simply first. If yes, than I encourage you to invite that person to walk home with you. If not - let's take a step back and figure our why you are feeling left out/ignored.  Do your friends talk about things that you don't understand, do they block you from participating in the conversation? If you guys have to walk together and there is no choice in the matter - YOU be the initiator of great conversation. Confidently smile - and talk to BOTH of them at the same time. It's so helpful to be able to navigate a conversation generously. That means you be the one on the high road - ask questions, people love talking about things that are interesting to them. Ask questions and figure out what common things all three of you have together and before you know it your walk will be over.  Hope this helps. Let us know what happens.  Inclusivity totally kicks butt over exclusivity! 
    reply about 4 hours
    GottaLoveDance
    GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
    I have this one best friend and she is wonderful. But two of my other friends are best friends with each other and when I walk home from school with them I feel really left out and ignored. I don't want to ruin their friendship but I don't know what to do about it. Any suggestions?
    reply about 7 hours

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