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Dear Dish-It, My Mom's an Attention Seeker


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

My mom is a bit... odd when it comes to men. She dates a lot, and has gotten pregnant three times from three different guys - the results being me, my sister, and brother - or perhaps I should say half-sister and half-brother. I've never met my dad, my parents broke up when mom was still pregnant, and apparently by the time I was born she had another boyfriend. I don't really get to see my sister because her dad took her and moved all the way across the state. When my mom's single, she's really depressed. She'll grab the nearest person and chew their ear off about how she MUST be ugly and stupid if no guys are dating her and starts going on about how maybe this is someone's way of telling her she shouldn't be living. My grandmom and I try to talk to her, snap her out of it, but it never changes until she finds another guy (which tends to be after a week or two of whining) or gets back with a previous one. I love my mother dearly, but her depression bouts seem rather attention-seeky. What should I do? Is there anything I CAN do? If not, I at least feel kinda better that I could tell this to somebody. It's not like I'm suicidal over it or anything, but it's all so annoying!
IrkenWaffle


Dear IrkenWaffle,

Props to you for being very mature about this difficult situation. Your mom is definitely not being a very positive role model for you by putting men and her love life ahead of your happiness and safety. Not only do her actions affect your day-to-day life, they also affect how you must view love and relationships. It's important to remember, despite the example that your mom is giving you, that you do not need a guy in your life to make you happy or feel special. Love is great, but just being with someone for the sake of having someone there isn't good. It ends up making you feel worse about yourself, not better. There's not a whole lot you can do to make your mom change her ways. But you can tell her how you feel. It sounds like you are pretty close to your grandmother, so maybe you can talk to her about how you are feeling as well. There is not really an easy answer on how to remedy this situation, but maybe you can spend some time staying with your grandma while your mom sorts her messy love life out. Instead of worrying about hurting your mom's feelings, start putting your needs first. She is your mom and should be looking out for your well-being before hers or her boyfriends. I hope this has helped! Good luck.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    jordand08
    First, I would not diagnose your own self, you're not a doctor and "researching " what you have is never a good idea. Secondly, I would definitely schedule an appointment to see if you have anything, and if something is wrong you can be diagnosed correctly and get the care you need. 
    reply about 2 hours
    jordand08
    jordand08 posted in Friends:
    Next time she tells you, see if you can find any evidence that she did, bruise etc.  even if you find nothing that doesn't mean she hasn't. But she or you should tell an adult, or someone you can trust that is older. 
    reply about 18 hours
    drowning
    drowning posted in Family Issues:
    "RavenClawRaina" wrote:Here for the past year, i have been having bad memory problems and rlly bad grades cuz i can never focus. I looked up my symptoms and showed my mom that I might have APD ( auditory processing disorder ). She said we will get it looked into but still hasnt becuz we have had my brothers friend move in with us becuz his adoptive dad beat him and its been putting stress on my mom and she doesnt want to deal with it. I need help in school but no matter how the teachers word things i cant get it. How do I make my mom listen to me and take me to the doctor? Its been getting worst too. I have had problems remembering what we did the day before is certain classes. HELP ME!  At first, I thought it sounded like ADD, but it wouldn't effect your memory like it is. If not, catch your mom while she's not rushing around. Maybe before she goes to bed or while she's making dinner. Maybe even while she's sitting down or send her a text for her to see when she can. I wish the best of luck with the stress! It most likely doesn't help with the APD; stress can add to just about any condition!
    reply 2 days
    drowning
    drowning posted in Family Issues:
    "iiDeadxInside" wrote:I refused to talk to anyone else besides my friends, and my family. I would advise you to try and reach out to other authorities than friends and family. They'll be able to do more.
    reply 2 days
    RavenClawRaina
    Here for the past year, i have been having bad memory problems and rlly bad grades cuz i can never focus. I looked up my symptoms and showed my mom that I might have APD ( auditory processing disorder ). She said we will get it looked into but still hasnt becuz we have had my brothers friend move in with us becuz his adoptive dad beat him and its been putting stress on my mom and she doesnt want to deal with it. I need help in school but no matter how the teachers word things i cant get it. How do I make my mom listen to me and take me to the doctor? Its been getting worst too. I have had problems remembering what we did the day before is certain classes. HELP ME! 
    reply 2 days