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Dear Dish-It, My Mom's an Attention Seeker


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

My mom is a bit... odd when it comes to men. She dates a lot, and has gotten pregnant three times from three different guys - the results being me, my sister, and brother - or perhaps I should say half-sister and half-brother. I've never met my dad, my parents broke up when mom was still pregnant, and apparently by the time I was born she had another boyfriend. I don't really get to see my sister because her dad took her and moved all the way across the state. When my mom's single, she's really depressed. She'll grab the nearest person and chew their ear off about how she MUST be ugly and stupid if no guys are dating her and starts going on about how maybe this is someone's way of telling her she shouldn't be living. My grandmom and I try to talk to her, snap her out of it, but it never changes until she finds another guy (which tends to be after a week or two of whining) or gets back with a previous one. I love my mother dearly, but her depression bouts seem rather attention-seeky. What should I do? Is there anything I CAN do? If not, I at least feel kinda better that I could tell this to somebody. It's not like I'm suicidal over it or anything, but it's all so annoying!
IrkenWaffle


Dear IrkenWaffle,

Props to you for being very mature about this difficult situation. Your mom is definitely not being a very positive role model for you by putting men and her love life ahead of your happiness and safety. Not only do her actions affect your day-to-day life, they also affect how you must view love and relationships. It's important to remember, despite the example that your mom is giving you, that you do not need a guy in your life to make you happy or feel special. Love is great, but just being with someone for the sake of having someone there isn't good. It ends up making you feel worse about yourself, not better. There's not a whole lot you can do to make your mom change her ways. But you can tell her how you feel. It sounds like you are pretty close to your grandmother, so maybe you can talk to her about how you are feeling as well. There is not really an easy answer on how to remedy this situation, but maybe you can spend some time staying with your grandma while your mom sorts her messy love life out. Instead of worrying about hurting your mom's feelings, start putting your needs first. She is your mom and should be looking out for your well-being before hers or her boyfriends. I hope this has helped! Good luck.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    bookwormlestrange
    I don't have ADHD, but I know plenty about it. One of my friends has ADHD and Tourette's, and the teachers were always turds about it. Anyway, i think that a good way to deal with ADHD acting up is either changing medication or trying to eat foods or drinks with caffeine. I'm not sure if it works for you, but a lot of people with ADHD have seen significant improvements after putting caffeine in their systems. If your friends are acting like turds, you need better friends. I hope my advice helps.
    reply about 7 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
    reply about 19 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
    reply about 19 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
    reply about 19 hours
    AnnaOfExquizurd
    Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
    reply 2 days