Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It, Everyone Left My Dad and Me

Help for teens with family problems like divorce and broken homes.
Dealing with Family Problems

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I want to leave home but I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings. Over a year ago, my mom moved out and so did my sister. It's just been me and my dad. Also, I've spent the past 27 weekends at someone else's house (my mom's or a friend's.) Most of the time though, I'm at my aunt and uncle's house. Sometimes my aunt and uncle and I brush on the topic of me staying there in the summer or something, but my cousins want me to stay all the time, not just during the summer and on weekends. I would love to do that. I know all the kids in the neighborhood and their parents. The thing is, I'm afraid it would destroy my dad. I try thinking that it would help him financially but I keep thinking how upset he was that mom left and that my sister wanted to live elsewhere (she's 17.) It makes me mad that she was selfish and only thinking of herself when she moved out. What should I do? Stay for four more years until university or move in with my relatives? (PS: I'm not very good with my communication skills when it comes to something that might hurt someone.)
Hockey_Chick9


Dear Hockey_Chick9,

This is a real dilemma. It must be very hard to be the only one left with your dad, if for no other reason than your family unit has totally disintegrated. It sounds like your dad has been through a lot - and so have you. There is no easy answer here - you've got to make your dad unhappy or be unhappy yourself.


There may be a bit of a compromise. Could you do what your aunt and uncle suggested and live with them on weekends and summers while staying with your dad during the week? At least start out like that so that your dad doesn't feel totally abandoned right away. Or you could do the opposite, ask to live with your aunt and uncle during the week, but tell your dad you want to see him on weekends.


Because I don't know exactly why you don't want to live with your dad, it's hard for me to say exactly what to do. You should definitely tell him you're not totally happy right now. Since you're not the best with words, try writing stuff down (to get the wording right) and then using it as a guide when you chat with him. Also, I think it's important you find support elsewhere. If talking to a counsellor (at school, etc) isn't your thing, then you could try some online resources. www.teenadvice.org is full of advice for all sorts of issues, including divorce and broken homes. There is also this site which has advice and help for both you and your dad. Maybe you two could explore it together. Your life has gone through some MAJOR changes and you've got a lot of emotions to deal with. It'll be very helpful to chat with someone who has an objective opinion. Hang in there and good luck!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


Related Stories:

  • Dear Dish-It, Do I Tell Him I Like Him?
  • Dear Dish-It, He Calls Me Creepy
  • Dear Dish-It, I Hate My Life
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • >
    >

    readers voted!

    Comments

    Midapops

    Midapops wrote:

    I wish I lived with my dad. My mom treats me different from my siblings.
    commented: Thu Jan 02, 2014

    quandra*bhadd_2021551
    Yhuu Onee Luckyy Child
    commented: Mon Mar 26, 2012

    lexa996

    lexa996 wrote:

    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    commented: Sat Jan 14, 2012

    there are 7 more comments

    Please login or register to add comments


    like this article?
    Sign up now to get more just like!

    latest videos

    F1033773518843

    How Many Parents in the US Are Divorced?

    • 44% of US parents are divorced.
    • 78% of US parents are divorced.
    • 12% of US parents are divorced.
    • 52% of US parents are divorced.

    related stories

    My parents told me they are separating. My mom gave my dad until the weekend to move out. I reall...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Family Issues:
    what're are you talking about??!!ur an awesome advise giver, but I do go to a type of therapy, its a strengthening families therapy thing, i's like three hours long, and I'm like the oldest person there, so that probably won't work, but u seem like an awesome person can I friend u??!! btw thanks for the advice I doesnt understand how your the oldest person there when its the strengthening families therapy thing and does your family go?   Thanks though and me advise is when you walk in the next time go up to the therapist and ask her / him that you would appreciates if you can have the quiet word without anyone listening.  And then tell her/ him how your feeling.  This seems like one person you can tell Yush of course and I will accept :) Your welcomes and I will do me best :angel
    reply about 9 hours
    toripizza
    what're are you talking about??!!ur an awesome advise giver, but I do go to a type of therapy, its a strengthening families therapy thing, i's like three hours long, and I'm like the oldest person there, so that probably won't work, but u seem like an awesome person can I friend u??!! btw thanks for the advice
    reply about 9 hours
    toripizza
    ill' probably watch It when 'm done with my homework, but seriously thanks
    reply about 10 hours
    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Family Issues:
    Ello and I am sorry your going through all this pain. Your  being strong for everyone else trying to put on the happy smiley face and at the same time your feeling so miserables.  You said in your post that you already does go to the type of therapy.  Is there any way you can talk to someone at the therapy sessions and say you need to talk about this? Sometimes you has to say you has the problem cos right now your giving the signal that your ok cos your hiding your feelings. Im the horrible advise giver but im the good friend and i care and if you wanna comment me then i will do me best to be your friend and listen :love
    reply about 10 hours
    alexiarina123
    your welcome , youtube explains clearly all abt the laws of attraction. It will help u  BIG time....just remember to do it the right way:)
    reply about 10 hours

    play online games

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    Big_icon_(7)

    Have you ever fancied being a ranger like those fantasy characters you love so m...

    Big_icon_(4)

    You run across the city in a car chase with the police officers.

    Big_icon_(6)

    The evil master kidnapped all of your friends!

    Big_icon_(5)

    Tic Tac Toe is back!