Dear Dish-It, Everyone Left My Dad and Me

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".

Dear Dish-It,

I want to leave home but I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings. Over a year ago, my mom moved out and so did my sister. It's just been me and my dad. Also, I've spent the past 27 weekends at someone else's house (my mom's or a friend's.) Most of the time though, I'm at my aunt and uncle's house. Sometimes my aunt and uncle and I brush on the topic of me staying there in the summer or something, but my cousins want me to stay all the time, not just during the summer and on weekends. I would love to do that. I know all the kids in the neighborhood and their parents. The thing is, I'm afraid it would destroy my dad. I try thinking that it would help him financially but I keep thinking how upset he was that mom left and that my sister wanted to live elsewhere (she's 17.) It makes me mad that she was selfish and only thinking of herself when she moved out. What should I do? Stay for four more years until university or move in with my relatives? (PS: I'm not very good with my communication skills when it comes to something that might hurt someone.)

Dear Hockey_Chick9,

This is a real dilemma. It must be very hard to be the only one left with your dad, if for no other reason than your family unit has totally disintegrated. It sounds like your dad has been through a lot - and so have you. There is no easy answer here - you've got to make your dad unhappy or be unhappy yourself.

There may be a bit of a compromise. Could you do what your aunt and uncle suggested and live with them on weekends and summers while staying with your dad during the week? At least start out like that so that your dad doesn't feel totally abandoned right away. Or you could do the opposite, ask to live with your aunt and uncle during the week, but tell your dad you want to see him on weekends.

Because I don't know exactly why you don't want to live with your dad, it's hard for me to say exactly what to do. You should definitely tell him you're not totally happy right now. Since you're not the best with words, try writing stuff down (to get the wording right) and then using it as a guide when you chat with him. Also, I think it's important you find support elsewhere. If talking to a counsellor (at school, etc) isn't your thing, then you could try some online resources. is full of advice for all sorts of issues, including divorce and broken homes. There is also this site which has advice and help for both you and your dad. Maybe you two could explore it together. Your life has gone through some MAJOR changes and you've got a lot of emotions to deal with. It'll be very helpful to chat with someone who has an objective opinion. Hang in there and good luck!

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

Related Stories:

  • Dear Dish-It, Do I Tell Him I Like Him?
  • Dear Dish-It, He Calls Me Creepy
  • Dear Dish-It, I Hate My Life
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!

    latest videos


    How Many Parents in the US Are Divorced?

    • 44% of US parents are divorced.
    • 78% of US parents are divorced.
    • 12% of US parents are divorced.
    • 52% of US parents are divorced.

    related stories

    My parents told me they are separating. My mom gave my dad until the weekend to move out. I reall...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    NovaHex posted in Style:
    Meh... I never actually see much of a difference with makeup.
    reply about 1 hour
    "Minecraftlover03" wrote:I'm 12 years old, and for some reason I'm always sad. I got a gold medal in my gym, and I just started crying, but I wasn't crying because I was happy. I just don't enjoy anything I used to. My mum does know but she says it's a phase. It isn't. I just started high school, but I don't have any new friends yet and all the popular girls pick on me and call me a loner :-( I hate school. I like the actual lessons but I don't like the social side of it. There are lots of clubs on at lunch that I want to go to but I'm too scared to go to any. I have been to one , science club but everyone was staring at me the whole time (I don't know why, and frankly I don't care, I just want them not to). Any advice would be appreciated. It really does help to talk to someone (teacher, parent, counselor, or another trusted adult) about it. If you tell someone what you've written here I'm sure someone will help you.  As for the clubs, you really just gotta go for it. Things are always going to be scary at first but it will get better the more you get into it. And obviously being in a club should help make friends. I hope what I've said is even a little bit helpful! :)
    reply about 7 hours
    swirly-girly posted in Style:
    I like buying my clothes at 3 places: at the mall, from stores or online. I dont care where I buy from I just like shopping until I find wut I really really like. Joe Fresh is on my must check list tho
    reply about 8 hours
    swirly-girly posted in Style:
    mid-length tousled an totally awesome cuz I dont think I can use the word I want to use on KW ;)
    reply about 8 hours
    swirly-girly posted in Style:
    YESSSSSS ! ! ! I love make up but I dont wear as much as ppl think I do. doing full make up takes too long but I wear concealer if I have a pimple or something to cover. I usually have my nails done but u dont have to do those every day, just touch em up unless u want to change the color. when I feel like more than that I do my lashes, lips an maybe eyeliner if I have time. having fun is more important than make up.
    reply about 9 hours

    play online games