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Dear Dish-It, Everyone Left My Dad and Me


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I want to leave home but I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings. Over a year ago, my mom moved out and so did my sister. It's just been me and my dad. Also, I've spent the past 27 weekends at someone else's house (my mom's or a friend's.) Most of the time though, I'm at my aunt and uncle's house. Sometimes my aunt and uncle and I brush on the topic of me staying there in the summer or something, but my cousins want me to stay all the time, not just during the summer and on weekends. I would love to do that. I know all the kids in the neighborhood and their parents. The thing is, I'm afraid it would destroy my dad. I try thinking that it would help him financially but I keep thinking how upset he was that mom left and that my sister wanted to live elsewhere (she's 17.) It makes me mad that she was selfish and only thinking of herself when she moved out. What should I do? Stay for four more years until university or move in with my relatives? (PS: I'm not very good with my communication skills when it comes to something that might hurt someone.)
Hockey_Chick9


Dear Hockey_Chick9,

This is a real dilemma. It must be very hard to be the only one left with your dad, if for no other reason than your family unit has totally disintegrated. It sounds like your dad has been through a lot - and so have you. There is no easy answer here - you've got to make your dad unhappy or be unhappy yourself.


There may be a bit of a compromise. Could you do what your aunt and uncle suggested and live with them on weekends and summers while staying with your dad during the week? At least start out like that so that your dad doesn't feel totally abandoned right away. Or you could do the opposite, ask to live with your aunt and uncle during the week, but tell your dad you want to see him on weekends.


Because I don't know exactly why you don't want to live with your dad, it's hard for me to say exactly what to do. You should definitely tell him you're not totally happy right now. Since you're not the best with words, try writing stuff down (to get the wording right) and then using it as a guide when you chat with him. Also, I think it's important you find support elsewhere. If talking to a counsellor (at school, etc) isn't your thing, then you could try some online resources. www.teenadvice.org is full of advice for all sorts of issues, including divorce and broken homes. There is also this site which has advice and help for both you and your dad. Maybe you two could explore it together. Your life has gone through some MAJOR changes and you've got a lot of emotions to deal with. It'll be very helpful to chat with someone who has an objective opinion. Hang in there and good luck!


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    LUCYQWERTY123
    hey there!! well i suggest u to answer back cause i think he missed u cause he hasnt see u for a year and i know he is estranged but if u answer back maybe he wont be strange so yeah :D :D :D
    reply 3 days
    MysticalC
    My dad and I are kind of estranged, we haven't spoken in a year. So my mom decides it would be a good idea to let him message me. He texted me while I was at school and now I have no idea what to do. All he said was 'Hi _, how is school?'. Do I reply? Do I not? If I do, what do I say? My mom and grandparents are no help, they just cracked jokes about it. KidzWorld has helped me with a hell lot of things, I better not be let down this time.
    reply 3 days
    jordand08
    Just act like you were introducing him as one of your friends. Be yourself, wear stuff that’s comfortable. It’s okay to be nervous because everyone will be. Just hang out and have fun.
    reply 4 days
    Fireworksirl360
    one day I was eating lunch with my friends and two boys, (I'm a girl). when one boy told his friend and some other people, everyone but me who he had a crush on. At the end of lunch someone told me and it was me, later on he confirmed it and his friend told us he was on the verge of tears because I found out. people were telling everyone he liked me. Earlier I told him I liked him as not to make him feel bad, he told his friend who told everyone. soon rumors were started my best friend and his had teamed up to make an unstoppable rumor making and spreading team.  on monday it was our all day field trip and he needed to tell me something so on the way back we sat together across from his friend. She asked him if he still liked me. I covered my eyes but could still see and he was saying no but nodding his head. I told him to just tell me and he said yes. By then the rumors were getting really bad so in order to stop them we started hanging out, and became best friends. its summer now and we text each other all the time but we are just friends the rumors have blown over but now another has become true. through all of this,  I really like him now. I don't know I f he still likes me but I know that I really want him too because I really like him now! What do I do? Please help me! I'm so lost! this is all like a nightmare! what if it starts again. What do I do!
    reply 4 days
    imtcutiie
    imtcutiie posted in Style:
    DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG
    reply 6 days