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Top 5 Confidence Boosters

Having confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and wishing no one will notice you. If you're tired of the latter and hoping to feel empowered and unstoppable at least some of the time, check out our top 5 confidence boosters that will instantly help you feel better about being in the spotlight (and may even encourage you to seek it out!)

#5 Find a role model

We are talking about a real person in your life -- not a supermodel, celebrity or pop star, but someone you know and admire. Someone who walks and talks with confidence, and whom you’re also comfortable with. It could be a friend, teacher, sibling, babysitter, aunt… as long as it’s someone you admire, respect, trust and already have a relationship with. You don’t have to recruit her to be your mentor or therapist. Simply ask her to keep you company shopping for back-to-school clothes, listen to you practice your debate speech, give you makeup advice or help you pick out some outfits from your closet.

#4 Find your Style

Steer clear of following any trend blindly and instead give any styles your own personal twist. Conforming and fitting in will just make you feel like everyone else. Fitting in but also having something that makes you unique will make you feel special. The best way we know how to do this is with a little makeover! Grab your BFF, older sibling, mom, or other confidence role model and schedule a head-to-toe image consulting. See what works about your look and what can use some updating, go through magazines or catalogs to see what styles catch your eye, and talk about what you love about yourself and what you'd like to change.

#3 Follow your Dreams

If you have a passion, an interest, a talent, or something that makes you tick, hold on tightly to it. Don’t give up because others say it’s unreasonable, unreachable or impractical. If you have a dream, find a way to nurture even a small part of it and make it a reality. Chip at it little by little each day, one brick at a time. Think it’s impossible? Well, as the White Queen in Alice in Wonderland said: “sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

#2 Take Pride in your Looks

First off, practice good posture. Back straight, shoulders back, chin up and face the world head-on. Walking tall and straight makes you look – and feel – more confident. Having trouble remembering to stand straight? Try this: Every time you walk through a doorway, pull your shoulders back and look straight ahead. Make it a habit by practicing this a few times and you’ll have great posture within the week! Bonus points if you practice looking people in the eye when you speak -- not in a creepy, non-blinking, staring kind of way -- but in an "I am listening and I hear you" kind of way.

Next, clean up your act! Wash your hair as often as necessary for your hair type. There is no excuse for going to school (or anywhere) with greasy hair! Got frizzies? Tame your hair with leave-in conditioner, get the split ends of your hair trimmed often, even if you’re growing out your hair, and keep your hair (and fingernails, since we’re on the subject…) out of your mouth. Wear deodorant every day. Shower at least every other day. Wash your face morning and night and never skip brushing your teeth. Feeling good about how you look on the outside will make you more confident on the inside.

While you’re at it, take pride in your belongings and your surroundings, too. On your way out of your bedroom every morning, pull up the covers, straighten your bed, and always put your clothes away as you take them off. Ditch the habit of shoving papers into your backpack and throwing wrappers into your purse and take an extra few seconds to put things away properly. Taking care of yourself and your things shows you respect yourself, and when you look in the mirror, you’ll see and feel the difference!

#1 Love Yourself

“Focus on things you like about yourself,” suggests Glenn Wolff, a Social Worker and Family Therapist in Stamford, Connecticut. “Focus on your strengths and what you do well: a good violin player, lacrosse player, writing poetry…” whatever makes you unique, different or out of the ordinary makes you special. To remind you of that special quality you are proud of, find or create a symbol for it. It could be keeping a photo of someone who inspires you, a memento from a day that you were really proud of yourself, or a souvenir from a time you were at your happiest and most confident on hand to look at when you need it. Or it could be a secret symbol you draw or create with your hands when you need to find your inner power, self-love and confidence. One girl we spoke with secretly touches her thumbs and pointer fingers  together in the shape of a heart when something negative happens at school. “It reminds me that I love myself no matter what anyone else says or does, and that always keeps me going.”

Have your Say

What do you do to boost your confidence? Share your tips and tricks below!

 

27 Comments

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How Self-Confident Are You?

  • I love myself, totally!
  • I am down with me, but there's always room for improvement.
  • So what if I don't fit in? Uniqueness is where it's at, baby!
  • I'd give anything to be someone else.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

SmartSunnyShadow
I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
reply about 11 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
reply about 11 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
reply about 11 hours
AnnaOfExquizurd
Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
reply 1 day
drowning
You go out and you find someone who you can be you with. It's not a hard question to find the answer too.
reply 1 day