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Get in Where You Fit in: Dear Dish-It Gives Advice on Feeling Excluded

Sep 26, 2017

One of the hardest things at this age is fitting in. Not everyone finds their place in school. Today on Dear Dish-It’s, “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we will be looking at questions from kids and teens who feel like they don't fit in. Try to acknowledge people who seem on their own, reach out to them and try to be a friend. No one deserves to feel like this, and if you could play a part in preventing it that would be great. 

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

There is nothing wrong with standing out.There is nothing wrong with standing out.

Question by rose2007

I don't fit in anywhere I’m all alone

Insight/Advice:

That must be so hard for you. I am so sorry to hear this. No one wants to go through life thinking that they don’t belong anywhere. What have you tried so far to get involved with others? Have you ever tried joining a school sport or activity? These are great opportunities to meet people. Keep your eye out for chances to meet new people and put yourself out there. Try not to be shy, I am sure there are lots of people who would love to meet you. In the meantime, you can try this out and see if it helps.

Question by Lonely

Dear Dish-it, I feel like I don't at all fit in at school. I like different music than everyone, I don't look like a classic cheerleader, and I don't really like many of the people in my year. They all seem really shallow. The guy I like is popular and I never have any chance to talk to him. I generally feel rubbish and don't know what to do.

Insight/Advice

It’s more than okay to be different. Being yourself is key and staying true to the things you like. You can’t really pretend to be someone else if you really want to fit in, you can try, but it won’t feel right. If people seem shallow to you just ignore them. You’re not rubbish.Try to talk to the boy you like and see what transpires. You never know and there is no harm in taking a chance.

Not everyone was born to get along. Not everyone was born to get along.

Question by Aero

Okay, so lately I've been seeing almost everyone wearing Aeropostale, Hollister, and Abercrombie & Fitch. I can't afford to wear those things every day like all of my friends at school. I just don't fit in, all of the popular either wear those brands or they are in sports. I'm on the cheerleading squad but I'm still not fitting in. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

Insight/Advice:

Just be yourself. If you can’t afford those brands then that’s that. Don’t let it get you down. Do the best with the clothes you have. You shouldn’t have to dress a certain way to be accepted as it has nothing to do with your character and is a shallow thing.

No one likes to feel like the outsider. No one likes to feel like the outsider.

Question by I like 42

Dear Dish-it, why do people think I don't fit in? Is it because I am the girl in the back of the class that doesn't talk and tells them to be quiet because I don't have a twitter and all my friends do. What is it?

Insight/Advice:

Kids and teens might not always respond well to you telling them how to behave. Sitting at the back of the class take attention away from you, why not join in the middle? Kids might start to get to know you better and realize that they like you. Is this Twitter thing a concern? Is there a reason you don’t have it? If you find it distracting during class that is tough, but it’s the teacher’s job to tell them to be quiet. Or go talk to your teacher, tell her how you feel about it and see what she says.

It's more than okay to be different.It's more than okay to be different.

Afterthoughts

For some people, the hardest thing is trying to fit in. Be inclusive with people not exclusive and let new people in. Everyone wants to feel liked and like they have friends. Everyone wants to feel welcomed and that they are wanted around. Be that kid that sticks your neck out for someone new. Don’t let these poor kids live in misery as they try to get through school alone.

No one wants to be alone so don’t be scared to reach out to the shy girl or the shy boy. Chances are they are hoping for a friend. Do stuff like this regardless of what’s cool, it is way better to promote unity and kindness and try to all get along.

There is something great about everyone, but you won’t know what it is until you discover it. Try to get to know some new people.

Don't worry! You'll find a place where you belong.Don't worry! You'll find a place where you belong.

Helplines & Resources: 

  • TeenMentalHealth.org
  • KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
  • Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed.  1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll Free US & Canada).
  • Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
  • Kids Help Phone – A helpline for kids and teens in Canada to call for help with any issue, including cutting and self-injury. Call 1-800-668-6868. (Kids Help Phone)
  • Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline)

Dear-Dish-It Housekeeping

I never want you to feel like I am ignoring you, however, there are some questions I can’t answer like, “how to build a video game?” Please remember Dear-Dish-It does not answer questions regarding bodily issues, physical issues, especially regarding discharge, periods, drug use, religion or sexual activities. Please review our guidelines before posting a question as posts of these nature will not be answered. We apologize for the inconvenience and hope that you visit your doctor soon to get the help that you need.

Secondly, there is an overflow of crush-related questions coming in and I am doing my best to get to the all or address popular concerns in crush articles.

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

Do you feel like you fit in? Why do you think some people fit in and others don’t? Comment below. 

 

3 Comments

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Do Your Friends Annoy You?

  • Yeah, my friends annoy me all the time.
  • Sometimes my friends can get on my nerves.
  • No, me and my friends usually get along really well.
  • I don't really have friends to annoy me.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Abbergrl
OMG IT is. It is and please don't disagree when I say it's the most annoying thing ever. Of course I know better than to date online. I don't trust long distance relationships, not even when it comes to friends. Though I like to believe kw keeps us all connected (: But it's possible, and I dislike this fact /: Here I go. Now I have put ideas into people's heads... way to go...
reply 6 days
Abbergrl
I seriously have no idea and have spent a lot of time wondering about this but honestly, it makes me so angry.
reply 6 days
ImagineOrdinary
Uh, I don't see why you need to 'come out' to them...?
reply 7 days
ImagineOrdinary
I think you can still get cold chills if you aren't cold  or it might be mild turrets 
reply 7 days
smiggle0890
my last serious relationship was when I was 13 and now im 17
reply 7 days