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Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong: The Edit

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Posted over 5 years ago

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PLEASE READ: I wished to be impartial, but to save myself from moderator trouble I wish to point out that I am entirely pro-gay rights and everything that entails. The below post is intended to be satirical/humourous/funny. It is the 10 most overused arguments against gay marriage followed by a sarcastic statement as to why the argument is invalid.

For some reason my previous thread got removed, strange how that happened since this forum is supposed to be a democracy. I was even being respectful, and I can prove that since I am a man of good taste, and nothing disgraceful or ill-mannered happens while I'm present (otherwise known as the Barrymore defence).


1. Being gay is not natural.
Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay.
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets.
Because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all.
Women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed.
The sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children.
Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry.
Because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children.
Since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in the world.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. ### marriage will change the foundation of society.
We could never adapt to new social norms.
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

The foul realism is unleashed
Upon the Earth we'll bleed

The kindness of deaths grasp
Relieves us from the pain


Posted over 5 years ago

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Posts: 1797

Actually that thread was reported for the posts with threats of violence being posted within the thread. 


Posting in the forums!


Posted over 5 years ago

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"The Mighty Ra" wrote:

For some reason my previous thread got removed, strange how that happened since this forum is supposed to be a democracy. I was even being respectful, and I can prove that since I am a man of good taste, and nothing disgraceful or ill-mannered happens while I'm present (otherwise known as the Barrymore defence).


1. Being gay is not natural.
Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay.
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets.
Because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all.
Women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed.
The sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children.
Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry.
Because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children.
Since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in the world.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. ### marriage will change the foundation of society.
We could never adapt to new social norms.
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.


SERIOUSLY GIVE IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

i love my new family its just me,alea and the tripplets♥ my sweet little babies♥ me baby girls maysee,avert and cassandra were born  12|10|12


Posted over 5 years ago

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I don't see why the last thread wouldn't just have the offensive posts removed, and the rest of it left as is.

Anyway, I agree with this thread. Those are ten very fine points, and I commend you for bringing it to everyone's attention.

Adieu.


Posted over 5 years ago

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"❥❣♥shy lil k.c♥❣❥ wrote:

Seriously, give it up!


Is this a war if being gay is wrong or not? Because it certainly looks that way to you. He's simply listing of what effects of gay marriage would cause on the world/society. 

Another thing, I completely agree with you, Ra.


Posted over 5 years ago

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"❥❣♥shy lil k.c♥❣❥" wrote:

I am outraged at your title since I am too stupid to read the actual content.

C'mon, at least try to read what you're trying to be outraged about.


"James" wrote:

Actually that thread was reported for the posts with threats of violence being posted within the thread.


I know man, I've just always wanted to use the Barrymore defence somewhere.
You're just doing your job, please don't remove this one though, I'll do my best to make sure people get it.

The foul realism is unleashed
Upon the Earth we'll bleed

The kindness of deaths grasp
Relieves us from the pain


Posted over 5 years ago

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"The Mighty Ra" wrote:




"James" wrote:

Actually that thread was reported for the posts with threats of violence being posted within the thread.

I know man, I've just always wanted to use the Barrymore defence somewhere.
You're just doing your job, please don't remove this one though, I'll do my best to make sure people get it.


May I recommend slapping around the nonbelievers with a large fish?

Adieu.


Posted over 5 years ago

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"The Mighty Ra" wrote:

"❥❣♥shy lil k.c♥❣❥" wrote:

I am outraged at your title since I am too stupid to read the actual content.
C'mon, at least try to read what you're trying to be outraged about.


"James" wrote:

Actually that thread was reported for the posts with threats of violence being posted within the thread.

I know man, I've just always wanted to use the Barrymore defence somewhere.
You're just doing your job, please don't remove this one though, I'll do my best to make sure people get it.


da fudge? i never said that?  Confused but i did read what u wrote and still theres nothing wrong with gays getting married whats next u gonna tell lesbians or bi's they can marry a girl? hmm? if u even start with  lesbians or bi's i will freak i wont be told its not right if i hear that then i'll just never stop screaming at u!

i love my new family its just me,alea and the tripplets♥ my sweet little babies♥ me baby girls maysee,avert and cassandra were born  12|10|12


Posted over 5 years ago

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Posts: 440

This is a very good thread that will go over way too many people's heads


(woah deja vu)

I am a furry little kitty. =^.^=


Posted over 5 years ago

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"❥❣♥shy lil k.c♥❣❥" wrote:


if u even start with  lesbians or bi's i will freak i wont be told its not right

Hmm, well I would like to point out the term "lipstick lesbian" means a girly lesbian in American, whereas in England it means a girl who kisses other girls for male attention. Such a fad is greatly damaging to the lesbian community and how they're represented in the media.

"❥❣♥shy lil k.c♥❣❥" wrote:


i did read what u wrote and still theres nothing wrong with gays getting married

Let me explain this simply, the entire first post is something called satire. It comes in many forms, what is used in the first post is sarcasm, used to show the flaws in the 10 arguments.
An easy one is the first argument. Saying being gay isn't natural is a pick and choose argument, if we didn't allow things simply on the grounds that they're not natural we also shouldn't allow air conditioning, medical care or clothes. Besides that, being gay is entirely natural.

"❥❣♥shy lil k.c♥❣❥" wrote:


u gonna tell lesbians or bi's they can marry a girl?


How is that different from telling a guy he can marry a guy?

The foul realism is unleashed
Upon the Earth we'll bleed

The kindness of deaths grasp
Relieves us from the pain


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