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I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
JanetDoe
JanetDoe
Member since:
April, 2014
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Posts: 179
Literally, I don't. I haven't cried about any sad deaths in so long. I know why; because it doesn't feel real. I just read The Fault In Our Stars, and thought I would cry over(spoiler alert) Gus' death, but no tears came to me. Not long ago I walked down, for the last time in my entire life, the stairs of my old middle school. No tears, not even one drop, even though I knew some friends I would never see again. None. At all. But I do remember one thing-I repeated, over and over in my head-"this isn't real". 
 Yes, you read correctly: It isn't real to me. I thought, about saying goodbye, I thought to say my final goodbye to my friends. I thought about giving them a hug, wish them a good-no, a great-summer. Then after thinking that, I thought, this isn't real. This is not my last day at this school. This is all some dream, mom is going to wake me up to go to school soon. This isn't real. I'll see all my friends again on Monday; it's only the weekend. Then I'll go to English class. This isn't real, not at all. The lockers that are empty and opened-they'll be full again with books on Monday. But why is everyone around me saying goodbye? We'll see everyone again on Monday. 
Is there... a way to.... cure this, I guess? Every time I say that my mind is tricking me, that this is real, I think yet again it's not. Will I be like this forever? Contradicting my own mind? Arguing with myself? Wondering why this seems so real, when my mind says otherwise? Why isn't this real... or not real? I feel dumb, I feel like my grandpa isn't dead, I feel like maybe my brother's right, maybe I am a lunatic, maybe I am insane. But... why? 

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools."


I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
Yeliak
Yeliak
Member since:
May, 2010
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Posts: 1036
HOLY COW. Are you me???!! I literally felt the exact same about TFIOS, I didnt even finish the book because I felt nothing. I thought it would be great because of the hype, but I didnt really buy into the whole craze. I felt the same way about leaving middle school also, and I seriously think its becauae by the end of the school year, I just feel mentally and emotionally drained. Like, the stress is so high I feel nothing. Like numb to feeling emotion. I dont feel really bad if people cry or feel sad, or if something dies, I just cannot invest in any emotional feelings. I dont wallow in my singleness like every other girl does, I dont feel bad when you tell me your dog dies, I dont feel bad if you tell me about your migraine. I dont know about feeling the not real thing, I am always aware of the "reality" of everything, so the only thing I can suggest is a change of scenery. Do something different that forces you to snap into reality. Roller coasters are great for that. Try something that requires focus and you dont do everyday. SORRY ABOUT ERRORS/FORMAT I am on my phone.


I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
-Karpov-
-Karpov-
Member since:
March, 2014
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Status: Offline
Posts: 373
Seek serious psychological help. 

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I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
JanetDoe
JanetDoe
Member since:
April, 2014
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Posts: 179

"-Karpov-" wrote:

Seek serious psychological help. 

Well, my mom said that they won't really help; she and many others she knew went to psychological help after my grandfather's "death" and still to this day, they will cry after a single memory of him. The help never worked for my family, so she doesn't think it would for me. 

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools."


I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
-Karpov-
-Karpov-
Member since:
March, 2014
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Status: Offline
Posts: 373

"JanetDoe" wrote:



"-Karpov-" wrote:


Seek serious psychological help. 

Well, my mom said that they won't really help; she and many others she knew went to psychological help after my grandfather's "death" and still to this day, they will cry after a single memory of him. The help never worked for my family, so she doesn't think it would for me. 


Yeah, well, if you're not making any of what you said up you have some serious issues and you ought to see someone who knows something.

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I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
JanetDoe
JanetDoe
Member since:
April, 2014
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Status: Offline
Posts: 179

"Yeliak" wrote:

HOLY COW. Are you me???!! I literally felt the exact same about TFIOS, I didnt even finish the book because I felt nothing. I thought it would be great because of the hype, but I didnt really buy into the whole craze. I felt the same way about leaving middle school also, and I seriously think its becauae by the end of the school year, I just feel mentally and emotionally drained. Like, the stress is so high I feel nothing. Like numb to feeling emotion. I dont feel really bad if people cry or feel sad, or if something dies, I just cannot invest in any emotional feelings. I dont wallow in my singleness like every other girl does, I dont feel bad when you tell me your dog dies, I dont feel bad if you tell me about your migraine. I dont know about feeling the not real thing, I am always aware of the "reality" of everything, so the only thing I can suggest is a change of scenery. Do something different that forces you to snap into reality. Roller coasters are great for that. Try something that requires focus and you dont do everyday. SORRY ABOUT ERRORS/FORMAT I am on my phone.

Maybe that would work; lately I've had a really... great, I guess, fear of heights, now more than usual. There's this hill, somewhat large hill, on a road that we drive on regularly. It's on a road that you drive to get to my parent's work(they work in the same building) and they have to drive every day. And I get really freaked out and finch at even the sight of the hill, close my eyes and pray not to die when I actually ride down it. Would this fear possibly help? All I think when I actually go down it is "please don't let me die". Would that work, to help me get over this? 

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools."


I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
JanetDoe
JanetDoe
Member since:
April, 2014
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Status: Offline
Posts: 179

"-Karpov-" wrote:



"JanetDoe" wrote:








"-Karpov-" wrote:




Seek serious psychological help. 

Well, my mom said that they won't really help; she and many others she knew went to psychological help after my grandfather's "death" and still to this day, they will cry after a single memory of him. The help never worked for my family, so she doesn't think it would for me. 


Yeah, well, if you're not making any of what you said up you have some serious issues and you ought to see someone who knows something.

No, I'm not making it up; but she and my dad said that "its not gonna help, they're just going to say that it can't be helped, and its a lot of money too." Half of me doesn't think it'd be a waste, or that it's as expensive as they say, but I don't have much proof to back myself up if they ask why. I told her this, a while ago, and she said it's just a phase people go through because I didn't actually see him in the hospital, dead. True, but a) my brother didn't either, and he's not going through this, and b) I may not have seen him in the hospital, but I still have the clear picture of him in his coffin, even 4 years later. I still don't have any reason as to why I'd need it because she says that it doesn't work and its all some phase. I'm not exactly sure if I'm insane or not, but if I were she wouldn't see it. I've got nothing to say why I would. 

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools."


I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
american_brit
american_brit
Member since:
April, 2014
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Status: Offline
Posts: 1357






"-Karpov-" wrote:


















"JanetDoe" wrote:






































"-Karpov-" wrote:
















Seek serious psychological help. 

Well, my mom said that they won't really help; she and many others she knew went to psychological help after my grandfather's "death" and still to this day, they will cry after a single memory of him. The help never worked for my family, so she doesn't think it would for me. 


Yeah, well, if you're not making any of what you said up you have some serious issues and you ought to see someone who knows something.


First off, when a person is seeking help don't say: "You have some serious issues"  It doesn't help. Thanks! ^-^

Second, I don't think there's anything "wrong" with you Janet. I don't cry at funerals and I didn't cry after reading TFIOS either. I don't know why. I just didn't it. It was sad. I could tell it was sad, but the connection with tears just wasn't there. 

Third, yeah sometimes I go through life and I'm like: This isn't real. It's all in my head. Why are people reacting that way? Then I have to pull my self back and think: Yes. It is.


Okay, as suggested before, you might want to do something that you think is really fun. Go out and well... LIVE. It's perfectly fine if you don't react the same way as others -and no one should expect that from you, but you have to remember that reality exists.

Fourth, talking about these feelings you have -or don't have... might not be a bad idea. It's good to get other people's opinions on what to do. You mentioned that seeing a psychologist is expensive. Is there another adult you or your family might know who could? If it wasn't summer I'd suggest talking to a school counselor. If not, talk to friends. Try to fill your mind with things that bring about other feelings. Feelings of happiness, excitement, etc. 

If this continues, it might be best to see a psychologist or counselor.

Hope this helps! (Sorry for not talking to you in a while Frustrated)




I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
Damara
Damara
Member since:
April, 2014
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Status: Offline
Posts: 192
You're not insane and I can understand your mental state (feeling like nothing is real). The not crying can be for many reasons (including the one you stated). In my opinion, I think you just don't have the ability to or you simply don't care. If you don't have the ability to cry and feel bad because you're lacking empathy, that can't really be fixed by anyone but yourself. As for not caring, I'm not going to judge you if it's for that reason. I don't care about many things, so I don't cry about them. Only you can alter your mental state.


I Feel Like Nothing Is Real

Posted By:
-Karpov-
-Karpov-
Member since:
March, 2014
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 373


"american_brit" wrote:


First off, when a person is seeking help don't say: "You have some serious issues"  It doesn't help. Thanks! ^-^


When someone says something like "Contradicting my own mind? Arguing with myself? Wondering why this seems so real, when my mind says otherwise? Why isn't this real... or not real? I feel dumb, I feel like my grandpa isn't dead, I feel like maybe my brother's right, maybe I am a lunatic, maybe I am insane. But... why?"

They could likely have serious issues and should be told they have serious issues for the sake of taking the issue seriously and getting real help, not silly little ideas like "do something fun" or taking suggestions from someone devoid of empathy/sympathy that is nothing more than a change of scenery. Assuming she isn't exaggerating or outright making what she said up, she should talk to someone who is actually experienced in the field rather than accepting small suggestions from kids that would ultimately hurt her more by ignoring the potentially real problem.


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