Yes, you read correctly: It isn't real to me. I thought, about saying goodbye, I thought to say my final goodbye to my friends. I thought about giving them a hug, wish them a good-no, a great-summer. Then after thinking that, I thought, this isn't real. This is not my last day at this school. This is all some dream, mom is going to wake me up to go to school soon. This isn't real. I'll see all my friends again on Monday; it's only the weekend. Then I'll go to English class. This isn't real, not at all. The lockers that are empty and opened-they'll be full again with books on Monday. But why is everyone around me saying goodbye? We'll see everyone again on Monday.
Is there... a way to.... cure this, I guess? Every time I say that my mind is tricking me, that this is real, I think yet again it's not. Will I be like this forever? Contradicting my own mind? Arguing with myself? Wondering why this seems so real, when my mind says otherwise? Why isn't this real... or not real? I feel dumb, I feel like my grandpa isn't dead, I feel like maybe my brother's right, maybe I am a lunatic, maybe I am insane. But... why?
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools."