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Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
Alexithymia_1396133 Lock
Alexithymia_1396133
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December, 2009
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This is a place for LGBTQ+ (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgendered people, queers/questioning, etc.) to ask for advice on topics like coming out, it is not for heterosexists to come in and share their opinion. Please respect that.

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." -Greek proverb

Because of school, I don't have much time to be on KW atm.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
Alexithymia_1396133 Lock
Alexithymia_1396133
Member since:
December, 2009
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Status: Offline
Posts: 9052
If you know someone who is thinking of coming out, but is worried about their parents. Please bring them to this thread, instead of having them create their own.       When they make their own threads, they usually get a crowd of mostly straight people who mean well but tell them that their parents will always accept them. That's not always true, and telling kids to come out no matter what is dangerous. 40% of homeless teens are out on the street because they've been kicked out of their homes due to their parent(s) not accepting their sexuality. It's rare, but can be prevented if kids take the right steps before coming out.

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." -Greek proverb

Because of school, I don't have much time to be on KW atm.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
Alexithymia_1396133 Lock
Alexithymia_1396133
Member since:
December, 2009
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Posts: 9052
Before you come out to your parents:   Be certain that you are not straight. That doesn't mean you need to be sure of your label, sexuality is complicated, and you've got plenty of time to figure yourself out. You don't need to know whether you are gay, bi, or pansexual, just that you aren't straight. Know your parents' stance on LGBTQ+. You can find this out over time through questions about their opinions on marriage equality, LGBTQ+ rights, etc. Asking those questions might not be needed if you already know their opinions or if there is a more subtle way of finding out. If you really have no idea how they feel towards queer people or suspect they might be heterosexist, harboring negative feelings towards anyone who isn’t heterosexual, then sneakiness is key. Don’t ask too many of the questions at once and have an excuse for asking them, since your parents will most likely ask. If after you begin the conversation, they ask you whether or not you’re LGB+ don’t be ashamed to deny it at that moment if you are not ready to come out. Denying it might lead to two things. 1. They’ll say that they would accept you if you were. 2. They’ll be slightly or majorly relieved. I know that the second option is painful, even if they are only slightly relieved, but finding out this information is important if you ever want to come out. Remember that lt’s possible that their opinions will change over time, and you might be able to slowly guide that process, so that when you do come out one day, you’ll be accepted. ******Make sure the very first person you come out to will be accepting, that might mean coming out to a friend. That will give you confidence and support

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." -Greek proverb

Because of school, I don't have much time to be on KW atm.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
Alexithymia_1396133 Lock
Alexithymia_1396133
Member since:
December, 2009
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Status: Offline
Posts: 9052
Again, sexuality is complicated and it might take you a while to figure out what yours is and how you want to label yourself. I've gone through plenty of labels. (I thought I was bisexual, then pansexual, then gay/a lesbian, until I finally realized that "homoromantic pansexual" describes me perfectly.) Here is a list of labels: heterosexual/straight- a person physically attracted to members of the opposite s-x homosexual- a person physically attracted to members of the same s-x gay- the same as homosexual, originally used only for males, but females use it too lesbian- a female homosexual bisexual- a person physically attracted to males and females hetero-flexible- predominantly straight but with a slight attraction to the same s-x homo-flexible- predominantly gay but with a slight attraction to the opposite s-x pansexual- a person who is physically attracted to people, regardless of their s-x (and gender identity) queer- an umbrella term, meaning anyone who isn't straight, heteronormative, or cisgendered (queer has and is still occasionally used as an insult, for the most part, it's been reclaimed) asexual/nonsexual- someone who is not physically attracted to anyone or is not interested in being intimate (warning: that's not a perfect definition, some asexuals/nonsexuals define themselves differently) hetero-romantic- someone who is romantically attracted to members of the opposite s-x homo-romantic- someone who is romantically attracted to members of the same s-x bi-romantic- someone who is romantically attracted to males and females pan-romantic- attracted to all s-xes romantically aromantic- someone who doesn't have romantic attraction to anyone transgendered- someone whose gender identity doesn't match their biological s-x cisgendered- someone whose gender identity matches their biological s-x genderqueer- an umbrella term for people who don't identify as being (only) male or female mentally bigender- someone who identifies as being both male and female mentally pangender- someone who identifies as being all genders mentally genderfluid- someone whose gender changes genderless/agender- someone without a gender thirdgender- someone genderless, a mix of male and female, or doesn't name their gender trigender- someone who identifies as being male, female, and thirdgender two-spirit- American Indians who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles There are more labels, so I'll edit this list in the future.

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." -Greek proverb

Because of school, I don't have much time to be on KW atm.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
abbiimarie13
abbiimarie13
Member since:
October, 2011
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Posts: 516
Describe Homoromantic Pansexual. Please...

amarii; ♥ #TeamChristIsMushrooms
My Pizap

Never forget: Harry Potter spent 11 years in the closet. It felt much better to be out.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
AlphaT
AlphaT
Member since:
April, 2011
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Posts: 7529

"Alexithymia" wrote:

Again, sexuality is complicated and it might take you a while to figure out what yours is and how you want to label yourself. I've gone through plenty of labels. (I thought I was bisexual, then pansexual, then gay/a lesbian, until I finally realized that "homoromantic pansexual" describes me perfectly.) Here is a list of labels: heterosexual/straight- a person physically attracted to members of the opposite s-x homosexual/gay- a person physically attracted to members of the same s-x gay is also used to specifically describe males who attracted to other males
So if its just for males, why do u say your gay? You being a female.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
abbiimarie13
abbiimarie13
Member since:
October, 2011
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Status: Offline
Posts: 516

"AlphaT" wrote:

"Alexithymia" wrote:

Again, sexuality is complicated and it might take you a while to figure out what yours is and how you want to label yourself. I've gone through plenty of labels. (I thought I was bisexual, then pansexual, then gay/a lesbian, until I finally realized that "homoromantic pansexual" describes me perfectly.) Here is a list of labels: heterosexual/straight- a person physically attracted to members of the opposite s-x homosexual/gay- a person physically attracted to members of the same s-x gay is also used to specifically describe males who attracted to other males
So if its just for males, why do u say your gay? You being a female.
Oh no.... Rebecca! Alpha is back!  Alpha, did you read the FIRST post?!

amarii; ♥ #TeamChristIsMushrooms
My Pizap

Never forget: Harry Potter spent 11 years in the closet. It felt much better to be out.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
Alexithymia_1396133 Lock
Alexithymia_1396133
Member since:
December, 2009
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 9052

"abbiimarie13" wrote:

Describe Homoromantic Pansexual. Please...
Sorry, I posted the list before it was ready. I edited it now.

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." -Greek proverb

Because of school, I don't have much time to be on KW atm.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
Alexithymia_1396133 Lock
Alexithymia_1396133
Member since:
December, 2009
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 9052

"abbiimarie13" wrote:

"AlphaT" wrote:

"Alexithymia" wrote:

Again, sexuality is complicated and it might take you a while to figure out what yours is and how you want to label yourself. I've gone through plenty of labels. (I thought I was bisexual, then pansexual, then gay/a lesbian, until I finally realized that "homoromantic pansexual" describes me perfectly.) Here is a list of labels: heterosexual/straight- a person physically attracted to members of the opposite s-x homosexual/gay- a person physically attracted to members of the same s-x gay is also used to specifically describe males who attracted to other males
So if its just for males, why do u say your gay? You being a female.
Oh no.... Rebecca! Alpha is back!  Alpha, did you read the FIRST post?!
I know. The answer to his question, like yours, is in the edited version of my post. I hope he reads it and leaves, respecting that I don't want to speak to him and that this is my thread.

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." -Greek proverb

Because of school, I don't have much time to be on KW atm.


Advice for LGBTQ+ (Such as Coming Out)

Posted By:
abbiimarie13
abbiimarie13
Member since:
October, 2011
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 516

"Alexithymia" wrote:

Again, sexuality is complicated and it might take you a while to figure out what yours is and how you want to label yourself. I've gone through plenty of labels. (I thought I was bisexual, then pansexual, then gay/a lesbian, until I finally realized that "homoromantic pansexual" describes me perfectly.) Here is a list of labels: heterosexual/straight- a person physically attracted to members of the opposite s-x homosexual- a person physically attracted to members of the same s-x gay- the same as homosexual, originally used only for males, but females use it too lesbian- a female homosexual bisexual- a person physically attracted to males and females pansexual- a person who is physically attracted to people, regardless of their s-x (and gender identity) queer- an umbrella term, meaning anyone who isn't straight, heteronormative, or cisgendered (queer has and is still occasionally used as an insult, for the most part, it's been reclaimed) asexual/nonsexual- someone who is not physically attracted to anyone or is not interested in being intimate (warning: that's not a perfect definition, some asexuals/nonsexuals define themselves differently) hetero-romantic- someone who is romantically attracted to members of the opposite s-x homo-romantic- someone who is romantically attracted to members of the same s-x bi-romantic- someone who is romantically attracted to males and females aromantic- someone who doesn't have romantic attraction to anyone transgendered- someone whose gender identity doesn't match their biological s-x cisgendered- someone whose gender identity matches their biological s-x genderqueer- an umbrella term for people who don't identify as being (only) male or female mentally bigender- someone who identifies as being both male and female mentally pangender- someone who identifies as being all genders mentally genderfluid- someone whose gender changes genderless/agender- someone without a gender thirdgender- someone genderless, a mix of male and female, or doesn't name their gender trigender- someone who identifies as being male, female, and thirdgender two-spirit- American Indians who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles There are more labels, so I'll edit this list in the future.
Is there a term for pansexuals romantically? 

amarii; ♥ #TeamChristIsMushrooms
My Pizap

Never forget: Harry Potter spent 11 years in the closet. It felt much better to be out.


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