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Random Jokes

Posted By:
NJStormDevil-l Lock
NJStormDevil-l
Member since:
January, 2007
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 2217
Just some random things I felt like posting...
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Dude 1x I got a treadmill, anybody got any workout advice I can use?
Dude 2x Yeah, run.
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I think a good movie would be about a brain surgeon who gets hit on the head and damages the part of the brain that makes you want to study the brain.

I hope life isn''t a big joke, because I don''t get it.
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DOG QUOTES
If your dog is fat, you aren''t getting enough exercise
Whoever said you can''t buy happiness forgot about puppies
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven''t got the guts to bite people themselves
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul--chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we''re the greatest hunters on earth!
When a man''s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
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SPORT QUOTES
And here''s Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago
"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people."
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
"There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
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QUOTES FROM...KIDS
xDefine H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
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POLICTICAL QUOTES
"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job"
George Bush
"Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we''re going to
succeed."
Ronald Reagan
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PROVERBS BY KIDS
[first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.]
Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the... bug is close.
Never underestimate the power of... termites.
You can lead a horse to water but... how?
Don''t bite the hand that... looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
If you lie down with the dogs, you''ll... stink in the morning.
Love all, trust... me.
Where there''s smoke, there''s... pollution.
A penny saved is... not much.
Two''s company, three''s... the Musketeers.
Don''t put off tomorrow what... you put on to go to bed.
None are so blind as... Helen Keller
Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.
There is no fool like... Aunt Eddie.
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To lazy to put more, think that''s enough anyways. If this thread lives on ''til tommorow I''ll post more...Ha, doubt it will...



-NJStormDevil
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