I have a couple myself!
A prince had a curse put on him as a boy so he could only say 2 words a year. He met a beautiful princess and wanted to marry her... but couldn't. So one day, 5 years later, he walks up to her and says "I LOVE YOU GORGEOUS SHIMMERING PRINCESS PLEASE PLEASE MARRY ME."
Princess: "Pardon?"
A woman walks onto a bus and the driver says "My that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman is indignant, and stalks to the back of the bus and sits down next to a man. He says "What's wrong?"
"That man insulted me!"
"You can confront him about it. Here, I'll hold your monkey."
A widow lived on top of an apartment building and one day the telephone rang. "This is the viper. I'm coming up."
She thinks someone is joking around and hangs up.
A little while later, someone calls. Same man "It's the viper. I'll be up soon."
She doesn't know what to think, and is getting scared.
A half hour later, the viper calls. "It's the viper. I'm coming up now."
She calls the police. Then a while later, the doorbell rings. "They're here!" she thinks. She opens the door. A little old man with a bucket and cloth stands there. "I'm the viper. I vish to vash and vipe the vindows."
Hey! I'm.... Uhhhh.... The..... Well..... You see.... I stall.... And... Well.... You never really... Get to the.... You know.... Point? Well... You see....
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