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Posted By:
musicpenguin
musicpenguin
Member since:
September 2012
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Posts: 5
Star
Posted over 3 years ago
The year of 1916.
I be the the trenches.
I see as planes fly overhead.
I think to myself.
Why am I here?


A quick poem. 
I might make this into a short novel. Please tell me what you think of it. Thanks Wink

Posted By:
Baby260_1746383 Lock
Baby260_1746383
Member since:
April 2011
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Posts: 12287
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
Brilliant


Posted By:
musicpenguin
musicpenguin
Member since:
September 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 5
Star
Posted over 3 years ago
Thanks smile

Posted By:
lemonadewithbrownies
lemonadewithbrownies
Member since:
May 2012
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Posts: 295
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
its good,it seems to be about war(it it is,what war?),it explains the setting,but i would give more details about the trench so readers can visualize it (just a suggestion,you don't have to take it)

I live in America and I love anime.Here's what I wanna say to you : BLUE CHICKENS AND MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Toriko
One of my favorite animes
toriko


Posted By:
shae508
shae508
Member since:
January 2012
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Posts: 9212
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
i like it. nicely done.

Being normal is so boring~
Why not be insane instead?
Devil

6000th post 9/16/2014 6:13 PM Big Grin
8888th post 3/27/2015 (For you huge! Big Grin)


Posted By:
Yeliak_1498556 Lock
Yeliak_1498556
Member since:
May 2010
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Posts: 1026
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
It's okay. I don't really have a lot of structure to base it off of. But, it's decent. I've seen better and worse for short poems.


Posted By:
membershipgirl
membershipgirl
Member since:
July 2011
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Offline

Posts: 5629
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
Nice poem, I liked the way you've questioned yourself in the poem too smile 
I think it was really good, anyways c; 


Posted By:
RawrSkittles=)
RawrSkittles=)
Member since:
July 2011
Status:
Offline

Posts: 14863
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago

"membershipgirl" wrote:

Nice poem, I liked the way you've questioned yourself in the poem too smile 

I think it was really good, anyways c; 


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