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Secrets (a poem)

Posted By:
PretentiousSmile
PretentiousSmile
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 114
Um... Hi? I guess. lol. So here's a poem I made, and I don't really know if it's any good - so, yeah. I think I need some opinions about it? Do I need to change some things? or... Well, here it is. (yeah, I'm pretty awkward. sorry!  Big Frown)

Secrets

So many secrets
Yet to be told
Oh the deep sorrow
Never seems to grow old
 
Quiet dreamer
Silent love
The joy in sadness
No longer prove madness
 
Seeking pain
Begging for affection
Invisible tears
Become my companion
 
Sitting with shadows
My imaginary friends
Screams become songs
Welcoming my flaws
 
Disapproval, disappointment
Follow me to lengths
Heartache, heartbreak
It's all give and take
 
Pretentious smile
Gleeful cries
Shouts of silence
Never dies
 
Try to hide
Only to conceal myself
Isolation's a word no more
It comes as life
 
Alone in the dark
Secrets revealed
All the broken dreams
And hushed screams
 
Hope to keep it hidden
'Till the days are no more
Nobody desires to listen
Some secrets shall remain forbidden

Let me know what you think!

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!


Secrets (a poem)

Posted By:
PretentiousSmile
PretentiousSmile
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 114
uhmm, yeah. thanks! you're so helpful! lol.

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!


Secrets (a poem)

Posted By:
MechanicWolf
MechanicWolf
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Online
Posts: 2194
This is a really good poem! smile


Secrets (a poem)

Posted By:
PretentiousSmile
PretentiousSmile
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 114
Aw, thanks! Big Grin

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!


Secrets (a poem)

Posted By:
Mr.Historian
Mr.Historian
Member since:
March, 2012
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 687

"PretentiousSmile" wrote:

Um... Hi? I guess. lol. So here's a poem I made, and I don't really know if it's any good - so, yeah. I think I need some opinions about it? Do I need to change some things? or... Well, here it is. (yeah, I'm pretty awkward. sorry!  Big Frown)

Secrets


So many secrets


Yet to be told


Oh the deep sorrow


Never seems to grow old


 


Quiet dreamer


Silent love


The joy in sadness


No longer prove madness


 


Seeking pain


Begging for affection


Invisible tears


Become my companion


 


Sitting with shadows


My imaginary friends


Screams become songs


Welcoming my flaws


 


Disapproval, disappointment


Follow me to lengths


Heartache, heartbreak


It's all give and take


 


Pretentious smile


Gleeful cries


Shouts of silence


Never dies


 


Try to hide


Only to conceal myself


Isolation's a word no more


It comes as life


 


Alone in the dark


Secrets revealed


All the broken dreams


And hushed screams


 


Hope to keep it hidden


'Till the days are no more


Nobody desires to listen


Some secrets shall remain forbidden


Let me know what you think!

Wow this is beyond amazing! Just wow...don't change a single thing it's perfect c:

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Secrets (a poem)

Posted By:
PretentiousSmile
PretentiousSmile
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 114
lol thanks Leo! so glad you like it! XD

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!


Secrets (a poem)

Posted By:
Mr.Historian
Mr.Historian
Member since:
March, 2012
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 687
pleasure is mine c:

Our Robot in action :D
Our medals :D
Big Grin Our hardwork paid off!


Secrets (a poem)

Posted By:
Aarjan
Aarjan
Member since:
April, 2013
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 1898

"MechanicWolf" wrote:

This is a really good poem! smile

Tail Piece : Relax. Breathe regularly, Its mathematical, It's a humour column ( ! ) , and it may even be harmless. The proof is in the pudding. Lol.

Va Fail.


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