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Feedback for a short story

Celebs cartoon
Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Default guy
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Hi! This is my first short story. Could you please tell me what you think? What do I need to improve? Thanks Big Grin. Here it is:

It was a normal rainy day in the city of New York. The cars passed by and the people walked 
through the streets with speed trying to get to their destination. 
At the top of the concrete jungle, in a small apartment, a woman looked through her window and smiled as the raindrops fell. She was thinking about him.

He, who made her feel better, even when she 
was passing through very difficult moments. 

He, who could end her pain with just a few 
words. 

He, who, no matter what, always managed to 
make her smile.

His name was Isaac, her best friend. Over the past years, they had grown closer to eachother, specially, with the dead of her dad, he had been the only one there for her. She loved him, in a more than friends way. But she wasn´t sure about his feelings, because he never expressed himself in the conventional way. 
She smiled at the rain, but was stopped by a noise coming from her pocket. Her cellphone. She dashed through the many apps and finally reached the messages. 
A new message from Isaac read:

lol i iz bored zo im juzt gonna annoy u. lol

She hated him sometimes.

Look Mom! I´m posting on a forum!


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl
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Its a short, simple and nice story. Thank you so much for sharing with us. keep posting more in future. smile

fashion clothing


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
sounds good, but you have to improve the grammar and there should be a twist as well.
otherwise, its great

♡Sarah♡


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
it was good, and I would love to hear more. smile


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Lock
My names Isaac and he sounds sorta like me XD 10/10


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