It was clear he didn't want to do this. I noticed the girls laughing at us. I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. My anxiety was growing worse. My hands started to shake and I had that feeling where I couldn't take a deep enough breath. I knew my medicine was in my bag, buti didn't want him to know I took medicine... I stuck it out, and blinked the tears away. 

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I blinked once, confused. "Hey, don't cry" I mumbled awkwardly, shuffleing from foot to foot and tugging my sleeves down like I usually did when nervous. "Just ignore them" I tried

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I shrugged an wiped the tears away from underneath my glasses. I wanted to say something to him so badly, but the minute I opened my mouth, something stupid would come out like always. My breathing started to turn into short gasps. I needed to take my medicine. I noticed the girls bathroom close by. I ran to it, opened the door, and walked in. It was empty. I slumped up against the wall and slid down to sit. I reached into my bad for the orange bottle. I twisted it open, stuck the pill on my tongue, and drank some water. I couldn't do this anymore. The tears shed from my eyes and rolled down my cheek. I took a deep breath in, and screamed bloody ###### at the top of my lungs, ending in a painful cry. I held my hands to my face and sobbed.

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I bit my lip and grabbed a passing girl, chealse, whom i used to date.."Hey Chealse? There's a girl in there...can you get her to come out?" I asked and she nodded. She entered the bathroom and glanced at the girl, not caring that she was crying, it wasnt her problem "hey jasper wants you, i think you should go, concidering its Jasper Goulding" she said with a smirk. I stood outside biting my lip

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I looked up at the girl, my eyes red and puffy. She rolled her eyes at me and strutted out. I got up, walked over to the mirror, took off my glasses. And splashed the cold sink water onto my face. I fixed my smeered makeup,and put my glasses back on. I held my hand on the door. I sighed, and opened it. I ripped a piece of paper out of my black note book, and scribbled the letters s-o-r-r-y on if with the sharpie I kept in my back pocket. I handed it to him, sniffling.

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I ignored her eyes and took the piece of paper "you havent got anything to apolygise for" I assured her with a crooked smile. I paused as the final bell rang, signaling the end of the day. I chewed my cheek thoughtfully for a second. "So you want to go to dinner or something tonight? I need to get to know you better to be honest" I smiled

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My mouth hung open slightly. I blinked rapidly for a second. Then, I smiled, and nodded. To be honest, I was fan-girling in my head.

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I held back a smirk and grabbed her sharpie and her hand then scrawled my number on her palm. I dug my hands in my pockets "so....#### ## when you want picking up yeah?" I asked, beginning to walk away. But at the last moment I turned back and called "Grace?" Then i threw her a winning smile "don't forget to bring some paper, I have a lot of questions" i smirked

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I nodded when he told me to text him. When he began to walk away, I stood there, dumbfounded. I held my bag with both hands in front of me, my arms fully extended. It touched my feet. I blinked, just to make sure it wasn't a dream, then when he was far enough away, I shook my head and smiled. I slipped my arms through the straps of my bag and hung it over my shoulder. I pushed the double doors to the school open, and walked to my car. I sat in the front seat of my Cadillac ATS for a couple of minutes, then drove home.

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(( Im just going to continue adding off of my last post ))

I wrote a note to my mom when I got home, and handed it to her. It read: "Im going out tonight." "Oh that's great honey!" She wrapped her arms around me. I awkwardly hugged her back, annoyed. I ran upstairs to my room to get ready. I opened my closet door, to enter the small room I only went in to sob and watch myself bleed in front of the mirror. I gazed at the many colored hoodies. I can't wear anything like this tonight... I pushed all of the hoodies out of the way. There, remained the white sweater my mother had bought me not to long ago. It cut short at the middle of my arm. The back was floral printed lace. I rolled my eyes and took it off of it hanger, along with one of my white cami's. I took the pair of dark-wash skinny jeans out of my black drawer, and took the teal and white Vans that were place on my shoe rack, next to the many other colorful Vans. I looked at the blood stained knife on my floor. I frowned, and walked out of the depressing walk-in closet. I picked up my iPhone off of my teal comforter, and texted the number printed on my palm.  I don't know why I'm getting my hopes up, he probably just gave me a fake number to mess and torment me like everyone else. I threw the phone back on my bed and walked into my baby blue bathroom. I grabbed the hair straightener my mother had bought me for Christmas three years ago ( I haven't used it to this day), and placed it on top of my outfit. I opened my makeup bag and got out my tan eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and  black mascara. I looked into the bag, gazing at the two things that were left. A bright pink blush that if I applied to much of, made my pale skin more noticeable then it already was, and a the peppermint flavored lipgloss I also was given by my mother. It was still concealed, never opened. I took them out and threw the makeup also on top of my outfit, next to my straightener. I opened the closet door, looked at my phone, then walked in shutting the door behind me. I picked up the knife and started thinking, as I usually did.
He's not going to respond. He doesn't even like you, he's being forced to do this. 
I began my regular routine, waiting to see if I would get a response.

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