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Dear Dish-It, He Still Hasn't Asked Me Out


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I won't talk about me in this letter, but about my neighbor. Well, she liked a boy (now she's making one year) but he didn`t like her. He liked her (kinda) best friend. She cried all the time. (She's only 12.) They were in the same club and he seemed to hate her. He proposed to her "best friend" but her best friend loved another. My neighbor told her friend to say "ok" (cuz she didn't want the girl to suffer.) She didn't say ok. She's the best person I've ever met. She loved the guy and put her friend before her love!!!!!
Neighbor


Dear Neighbor,

Sorry, but I had to cut down the length of your story... it was a little wordy, girl. From what I can tell, your sweet neighbour has found herself true love and continues to be loyal to her friend. And she is in her girl's corner despite the first boy (she had the hots for) jonesing for the friend.


The prob is there are peeps at school who know everything about her and (it sounds like) every single feeling or crush she's ever had. And I think you said these peeps are hatin' on her. STOP! Your girl is strong and smart, as well as, heart-smart. Most peeps don't learn heart-smarts until they're much older... it's something that tends to come with experience. All she needs to do is toughen up her skin. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks? Ok, everyone cares a little, but the thing is you shouldn't. The only judgement that counts is personal judgement. If your girl can ask herself if she is a positive, thoughtful person (which according to you, she is) then that's all that counts. Peer pressure can be harsh and hurtful, but your friend shouldn't let it get her down. Pssst, I have a secret - you know those old sayings our 'rents come out with, like "You can't please everyone all of the time?" You know the ones we roll our eyes at. They're actually true. Disturbing but true - mom and dad may know a thing or two... their even worth talkin' to once in a while.


Dear Dish-It,

My friend, Jessica, told me that this guy liked me and asked me if I wanted to go out with him. I said yes, so she phoned him that night and he said yes. So it was the next week - me and jessica went to the mall with him, but then he said that he wasn't going out with me. He said that he would but that he hadn't asked me out. That week we went to a Christmas party and he totally ignored me and was being mean. The next day he asked me to phone him and he said sorry. I see him two days a week at martial arts class. He still hasn't asked me out but he still flirts with me. PLEASE HELP !!!!!
Tif


Dear Tif,

What a buttmunch! This guy sounds like he thinks he's pretty much the hottie. If you're smart you'll back away quickly, but not before making him squirm. I say beat him at his own game. C'mon girls, don't think I'm evil... it's just that this guy is playin' games... so I say play this game and teach him a lesson.


First thing you have to do is blow him off. Totally ignore him. Don't be rude, just be zero degrees cool! And how about a pretend boy. Make up a boyfriend or tell him you like someone else. And be really all over it. (I recommend not using a real boy cuz you might send mixed signals. No point in hurting some poor guy.) The thing 'bout lots of boys is they want what they can't have. It's all part of their hunter/gather instincts... once they gotcha they go huntin' for someone or something else. (Note - not all boys are like this, just most.) I think you'll find that he'll become interested in you the moment you move on. But again, I strongly suggest you move along - cuz if he's actin' like this, it's cuz he's into the game , not you.


Dear Dish-It,

I'm 16 and I am seeing a guy... for about two months now. We haven't hooked up yet because he says that I should wait because he doesn't want to rush into things. How should I say this... well we are friends with BENEFITS. Ya'll know what I mean. I also give him money when he needs it. My sis and my gurls tell me to leave him because he is just using me. But I do like him and it seems like he likes me too. Holla back at yur gurl and give me advice about what I should do with this guy?
Angel


Dear Angel,

First thing girl, I'm sorry that this answer has taken so long. Loads of peeps have been dishing it up, and I'm still tryin' to catch up. Here are my thoughts - It sounds to me like you're a wallet with legs. Girl, this boy is takin' advantage of you. I mean if he doesn't want to hook up... hmmm, that's just not natural for a boy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not encouraging ya to hook up (and if you do - keep it controlled and safe. I recommend birth control and condoms.) But a guy that doesn't follow up on an open invite... odd! And the money thing. And your girls (sis too) sayin' he's usin' you. It sounds like food for thought. When friends warn you off a boy, it's cuz they can see stuff you can't see or don't want to see. So I say later to your boy. If you're not willin' to let go, at least put him to a test. Tie up those purse strings, then see what what he does. If he sticks with you and his principles, then you just might have a fairy tale in the makin'.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


Related Stories:

  • Dear Dish-It, He Wants to Have Sex
  • Dear Dish-It, I Am Not Over Him
  • Dear Dish-It, How Do I Know If He Likes Me?
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  • 24 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Abbergrl
    Haha, thank you. I don't want to date, it's just that these stupid crushes :/
    reply about 4 hours
    SimplyAda
    I can relate very much.  :e  It happens a lot. But here's one thing, try not to date. At my middle school, everyone literally dates everybody and relationships never last. Part of the reason is that most of us aren't in that mature phase yet (mostly boys). As the days go by, we're growing. But, it's completely normal to have a crush on a boy. :) :thumbsup
    reply about 4 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Sorry for the late reply, but I'd love to help. If they don't want to talk to you, or don't like your jokes, don't talk to them. They probably don't like you, so you shouldn't try to make it better. You should hang out with your other friends. They'll make you feel better about yourself. If you don't have any friends in your class...that's the problem.  That's exactly what happened to me last year. But I started hanging out with the guys more, and they were really nice and had a lot in common with me. Maybe the guys will be nice to you and accept you. I hope I helped you. :)   
    reply about 11 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Aw, that's sad. I know this is a late review, but I would love to help you make new friends. There are kids that do nasty things at every single school, trust me, you'll never find a perfect school, and if people are reporting this form of bullying, teachers are probably supervising children more, so don't worry about that. :) Now making new friends, ahh, that's very difficult. I can be shy myself, but it honestly depends. What I usually do is observe different groups of people, and see how they interact with each other. If the person seems nice, wait until the time is appropriate and greet them. A friendly "Hi, I'm new, could you maybe show me around, or help me with this, or tell me about this school?" That will start off a conversation. :)  As well, I tend to make jokes, or go to my funny side. I usually make way more friends that way. You could try to make slight jokes, and gradually make them less implied and more clear as you joke around.  If there are any other new kids, or shy kids, definitely talk to them. If there are any kids that look lonely, or sad, maybe take some time to approach them. If they look like the want to be left alone, leave them alone. If you're not sure, it's best if you see someone else interact with them first.  If you're bisexual, that doesn't really matter, and don't bring that fact up in a conversation. That's kind of personal, and when you get a little closer, you can say that. It's not really important, and necessary for people to know that. And it's personal too. So don't bring that up unless you really want to.  I hope i helped you! Sorry for the late advice. >_< 
    reply about 11 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Several people are having the same problem as you. Whether they're the same gender or not, many people crush on some of their closest friends. So don't feel alone, remember that. I know this is some late advice, but I hope so far things are going good. Many people are feeling the urge of confessing like you. Yes, I think you should confess to her clearly, but when the time is right. She may not like you, but if you really really like her, you should absolutely confess to her. But be aware that confessing to one of your friends can ruin your friendship. You have to be cautious, confess when the time is right. 5 months may be long for you, but honestly, that's a short-term crush. Don't rush your confession, and don't give up unless you think you should. Getting over someone can be incredibly hard too, but you're either going to get over her, or confess to her. When the time is right, confess. When the time never seems to come, I'm sorry, but unfortunately, I think it's best if you get over her, because you have to be 100% sure before you confess to someone. You're risking your friendship to, so think if it's really worth it.  I hope I helped you. :) 
    reply about 11 hours