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Dear Dish-It, He Still Hasn't Asked Me Out


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I won't talk about me in this letter, but about my neighbor. Well, she liked a boy (now she's making one year) but he didn`t like her. He liked her (kinda) best friend. She cried all the time. (She's only 12.) They were in the same club and he seemed to hate her. He proposed to her "best friend" but her best friend loved another. My neighbor told her friend to say "ok" (cuz she didn't want the girl to suffer.) She didn't say ok. She's the best person I've ever met. She loved the guy and put her friend before her love!!!!!
Neighbor


Dear Neighbor,

Sorry, but I had to cut down the length of your story... it was a little wordy, girl. From what I can tell, your sweet neighbour has found herself true love and continues to be loyal to her friend. And she is in her girl's corner despite the first boy (she had the hots for) jonesing for the friend.


The prob is there are peeps at school who know everything about her and (it sounds like) every single feeling or crush she's ever had. And I think you said these peeps are hatin' on her. STOP! Your girl is strong and smart, as well as, heart-smart. Most peeps don't learn heart-smarts until they're much older... it's something that tends to come with experience. All she needs to do is toughen up her skin. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks? Ok, everyone cares a little, but the thing is you shouldn't. The only judgement that counts is personal judgement. If your girl can ask herself if she is a positive, thoughtful person (which according to you, she is) then that's all that counts. Peer pressure can be harsh and hurtful, but your friend shouldn't let it get her down. Pssst, I have a secret - you know those old sayings our 'rents come out with, like "You can't please everyone all of the time?" You know the ones we roll our eyes at. They're actually true. Disturbing but true - mom and dad may know a thing or two... their even worth talkin' to once in a while.


Dear Dish-It,

My friend, Jessica, told me that this guy liked me and asked me if I wanted to go out with him. I said yes, so she phoned him that night and he said yes. So it was the next week - me and jessica went to the mall with him, but then he said that he wasn't going out with me. He said that he would but that he hadn't asked me out. That week we went to a Christmas party and he totally ignored me and was being mean. The next day he asked me to phone him and he said sorry. I see him two days a week at martial arts class. He still hasn't asked me out but he still flirts with me. PLEASE HELP !!!!!
Tif


Dear Tif,

What a buttmunch! This guy sounds like he thinks he's pretty much the hottie. If you're smart you'll back away quickly, but not before making him squirm. I say beat him at his own game. C'mon girls, don't think I'm evil... it's just that this guy is playin' games... so I say play this game and teach him a lesson.


First thing you have to do is blow him off. Totally ignore him. Don't be rude, just be zero degrees cool! And how about a pretend boy. Make up a boyfriend or tell him you like someone else. And be really all over it. (I recommend not using a real boy cuz you might send mixed signals. No point in hurting some poor guy.) The thing 'bout lots of boys is they want what they can't have. It's all part of their hunter/gather instincts... once they gotcha they go huntin' for someone or something else. (Note - not all boys are like this, just most.) I think you'll find that he'll become interested in you the moment you move on. But again, I strongly suggest you move along - cuz if he's actin' like this, it's cuz he's into the game , not you.


Dear Dish-It,

I'm 16 and I am seeing a guy... for about two months now. We haven't hooked up yet because he says that I should wait because he doesn't want to rush into things. How should I say this... well we are friends with BENEFITS. Ya'll know what I mean. I also give him money when he needs it. My sis and my gurls tell me to leave him because he is just using me. But I do like him and it seems like he likes me too. Holla back at yur gurl and give me advice about what I should do with this guy?
Angel


Dear Angel,

First thing girl, I'm sorry that this answer has taken so long. Loads of peeps have been dishing it up, and I'm still tryin' to catch up. Here are my thoughts - It sounds to me like you're a wallet with legs. Girl, this boy is takin' advantage of you. I mean if he doesn't want to hook up... hmmm, that's just not natural for a boy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not encouraging ya to hook up (and if you do - keep it controlled and safe. I recommend birth control and condoms.) But a guy that doesn't follow up on an open invite... odd! And the money thing. And your girls (sis too) sayin' he's usin' you. It sounds like food for thought. When friends warn you off a boy, it's cuz they can see stuff you can't see or don't want to see. So I say later to your boy. If you're not willin' to let go, at least put him to a test. Tie up those purse strings, then see what what he does. If he sticks with you and his principles, then you just might have a fairy tale in the makin'.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 24 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    -Gwen9--
    -Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
    "jordand08" wrote:Thank you.You're welcome. :)
    reply about 4 hours
    donteatcarrots
    talk to the person you're closest too. yes, you said you don't get close with people, but there's probably one person who you speak to more often than others- talk to that person.
    reply about 6 hours
    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
    Don't worry too much- it's only your first relationship- but I'd sit down with him at one point, and discuss what makes you uncomfortable, eg; if you know what I mean...
    reply about 6 hours
    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
    Probably sound a little stereotypical, but the majority of boys don't really act like that... Ask him :p
    reply about 6 hours
    kittenkid
    First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
    reply about 8 hours

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