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Dear Dish-It, He Still Hasn't Asked Me Out


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl when I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I won't talk about me in this letter, but about my neighbor. Well, she liked a boy (now she's making one year) but he didn`t like her. He liked her (kinda) best friend. She cried all the time. (She's only 12.) They were in the same club and he seemed to hate her. He proposed to her "best friend" but her best friend loved another. My neighbor told her friend to say "ok" (cuz she didn't want the girl to suffer.) She didn't say ok. She's the best person I've ever met. She loved the guy and put her friend before her love!!!!!
Neighbor


Dear Neighbor,

Sorry, but I had to cut down the length of your story... it was a little wordy, girl. From what I can tell, your sweet neighbour has found herself true love and continues to be loyal to her friend. And she is in her girl's corner despite the first boy (she had the hots for) jonesing for the friend.


The prob is there are peeps at school who know everything about her and (it sounds like) every single feeling or crush she's ever had. And I think you said these peeps are hatin' on her. STOP! Your girl is strong and smart, as well as, heart-smart. Most peeps don't learn heart-smarts until they're much older... it's something that tends to come with experience. All she needs to do is toughen up her skin. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks? Ok, everyone cares a little, but the thing is you shouldn't. The only judgement that counts is personal judgement. If your girl can ask herself if she is a positive, thoughtful person (which according to you, she is) then that's all that counts. Peer pressure can be harsh and hurtful, but your friend shouldn't let it get her down. Pssst, I have a secret - you know those old sayings our 'rents come out with, like "You can't please everyone all of the time?" You know the ones we roll our eyes at. They're actually true. Disturbing but true - mom and dad may know a thing or two... their even worth talkin' to once in a while.


Dear Dish-It,

My friend, Jessica, told me that this guy liked me and asked me if I wanted to go out with him. I said yes, so she phoned him that night and he said yes. So it was the next week - me and jessica went to the mall with him, but then he said that he wasn't going out with me. He said that he would but that he hadn't asked me out. That week we went to a Christmas party and he totally ignored me and was being mean. The next day he asked me to phone him and he said sorry. I see him two days a week at martial arts class. He still hasn't asked me out but he still flirts with me. PLEASE HELP !!!!!
Tif


Dear Tif,

What a buttmunch! This guy sounds like he thinks he's pretty much the hottie. If you're smart you'll back away quickly, but not before making him squirm. I say beat him at his own game. C'mon girls, don't think I'm evil... it's just that this guy is playin' games... so I say play this game and teach him a lesson.


First thing you have to do is blow him off. Totally ignore him. Don't be rude, just be zero degrees cool! And how about a pretend boy. Make up a boyfriend or tell him you like someone else. And be really all over it. (I recommend not using a real boy cuz you might send mixed signals. No point in hurting some poor guy.) The thing 'bout lots of boys is they want what they can't have. It's all part of their hunter/gather instincts... once they gotcha they go huntin' for someone or something else. (Note - not all boys are like this, just most.) I think you'll find that he'll become interested in you the moment you move on. But again, I strongly suggest you move along - cuz if he's actin' like this, it's cuz he's into the game , not you.


Dear Dish-It,

I'm 16 and I am seeing a guy... for about two months now. We haven't hooked up yet because he says that I should wait because he doesn't want to rush into things. How should I say this... well we are friends with BENEFITS. Ya'll know what I mean. I also give him money when he needs it. My sis and my gurls tell me to leave him because he is just using me. But I do like him and it seems like he likes me too. Holla back at yur gurl and give me advice about what I should do with this guy?
Angel


Dear Angel,

First thing girl, I'm sorry that this answer has taken so long. Loads of peeps have been dishing it up, and I'm still tryin' to catch up. Here are my thoughts - It sounds to me like you're a wallet with legs. Girl, this boy is takin' advantage of you. I mean if he doesn't want to hook up... hmmm, that's just not natural for a boy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not encouraging ya to hook up (and if you do - keep it controlled and safe. I recommend birth control and condoms.) But a guy that doesn't follow up on an open invite... odd! And the money thing. And your girls (sis too) sayin' he's usin' you. It sounds like food for thought. When friends warn you off a boy, it's cuz they can see stuff you can't see or don't want to see. So I say later to your boy. If you're not willin' to let go, at least put him to a test. Tie up those purse strings, then see what what he does. If he sticks with you and his principles, then you just might have a fairy tale in the makin'.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • Dear Dish-It, He Wants to Have Sex
  • Dear Dish-It, I Am Not Over Him
  • Dear Dish-It, How Do I Know If He Likes Me?
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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    drowning
    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
    reply about 7 hours
    fitta
    "Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
    reply about 8 hours
    fitta
    "SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
    reply about 8 hours
    SatanslilDemon
    Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
    reply about 9 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
    reply about 15 hours