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Dear Dish-It: I’m Being Bullied At School

Dear Dish-It,

I'm being bullied at school. Not physically, but with words. One guy calls me a nerd and stupid. I try to ignore it but one time I told him to shut up and leave me alone. I know he's just taking out his own problems on me and other girls. I want to yell at the top of my lungs. What should I do?

true2myself

Dear true2myself,

bullying is so awful. It sucks to be bullied and, believe it or not, it sucks to be a bully, too.

Lots of experts have studied bullies and bullying. They wonder what makes some kids pick on other kids. And do you know what a lot of these psychologists and behavioral scientists have found? That bullies suffer from a lot of problems, just like you said. They have low self-esteem, and feel they need to take their hatred of themselves or anger about their lives out on other people. They may have problems at home with their parents, or they may feel like they have no friends at school. So they act tough and say and do mean things to people they are jealous of.

It sounds to me like the bully at your school has something else going on in his life that you don’t know about. Ignoring him is definitely one solution. Another idea would be, if you feel comfortable and safe doing so, actually talking to this guy and asking him if there’s anything wrong. Maybe he just needs someone – a friend – to reach out to him? The other option is to talk to an adult – a teacher or one of your parents – about how you feel. They may have some good suggestions as to what you can do to fix the situation or make it better.

Whatever you do, don’t think for a minute that you’re being bullied because there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. There’s something wrong with your bully.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

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130 Comments

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Have You Been Bullied?

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  • No... but I've bullied other people

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

SmartSunnyShadow
I have one so annoying sister, that it feels like I have 200 of them, oh my god. She's pounding on the door right now, HELP! 
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Dad, obviously. I can't even explain what he does to me!
reply about 7 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
Well, if they are your BFFs, they shouldn't be teasing you to make you feel bad. Me, and my BFFs tease each other all the time playfully, but I understand that this is different, and if it's making you feel bad it isn't playful at all.   Maybe your eldest friend is having some trouble with family issues, bad grades, body changes, etc. It's okay to be angry, so maybe you should leave her space for a few days, and see if it turns better. If it isn't, then try to first make her calm down. Then, make her talk to you about why she is so angry and ask if you can try to help. If nothing turns out better, tell her that you feel uncomfortable, and you want her to talk to you.  For your 3rd eldest friend, support her as much as possible, and stand up for her in this terrible situation. If you are all BFFs, then you should all be very close and comfortable around each other, and the fight shouldn't last long. If not, they are not your real friends, and you have to go on without them. I have tons of advice on how to make new friends, so just ask me if you want to know. Your 2nd eldest friend seems to be the main problem.  First of all, tell her to stop, and say how you don't like her bullying you. You must say what she is doing wrong, and how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care, tell her you're serious, and you hate what she is doing to you. If it continues, ignore what trash she is saying, and just simply walk away. Focus on other things that will help make you feel better. Remember, all she is is a person, and it's up to you to act appropriately.  Stay positive, and calm. Focus on other things, and if she continues, tell her that you can all be friends and you miss her. Go get another friend to stand up with you, and tell her that you will report to an adult if she won't stop. She may be your friend, but she deserves it. I told on my BFF when she was mean, so it's all okay now.  If all else fails, get a trusted adult, and hang out with nicer friends. Your other friends will learn from their mistakes. If not, warn them, and give them a sincere kindness note of how you miss being friends. Then, also give one to the bully.
reply about 7 hours
AnnaOfExquizurd
Yeah, @CyclonicBass the best option really is to find a girl with a quirky personality. Become friends with her. Possibly, over time, she'll grow close to you and accept a request to be with you. Hope it goes well!
reply 1 day
drowning
You go out and you find someone who you can be you with. It's not a hard question to find the answer too.
reply 1 day