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Dear Dish-It: I’m Being Bullied At School

Dear Dish-It,

I'm being bullied at school. Not physically, but with words. One guy calls me a nerd and stupid. I try to ignore it but one time I told him to shut up and leave me alone. I know he's just taking out his own problems on me and other girls. I want to yell at the top of my lungs. What should I do?

true2myself

Dear true2myself,

bullying is so awful. It sucks to be bullied and, believe it or not, it sucks to be a bully, too.

Lots of experts have studied bullies and bullying. They wonder what makes some kids pick on other kids. And do you know what a lot of these psychologists and behavioral scientists have found? That bullies suffer from a lot of problems, just like you said. They have low self-esteem, and feel they need to take their hatred of themselves or anger about their lives out on other people. They may have problems at home with their parents, or they may feel like they have no friends at school. So they act tough and say and do mean things to people they are jealous of.

It sounds to me like the bully at your school has something else going on in his life that you don’t know about. Ignoring him is definitely one solution. Another idea would be, if you feel comfortable and safe doing so, actually talking to this guy and asking him if there’s anything wrong. Maybe he just needs someone – a friend – to reach out to him? The other option is to talk to an adult – a teacher or one of your parents – about how you feel. They may have some good suggestions as to what you can do to fix the situation or make it better.

Whatever you do, don’t think for a minute that you’re being bullied because there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. There’s something wrong with your bully.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
"sparkly_chick" wrote: I keep saying stupid things and messing up with my friends and now they hate me. /.\ Don't say "they don't deserve you" or something, because I don't deserve them. They're great friends and I'm just... stupid. I'm sorry dear but things do get better and its not your fault. Everyone messes up, its just a part a life. If you need to talk and explain to me with more info you can, I'm here. :)    ^^This. You're not stupid either. Everybody makes mistakes and messes things up.
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Don't make your mom get irritated or she might start abusing you too. Talk to a counselor at school or something and figure out a way, like living with a relative or something. A counsellor is a good idea but talking to your mom is more important. She's your guardian. Don't worry about irritating her, tell her how you feel. Communication is important and the fear of getting abused should never ever get in between your relationship unless it's a previous factor in that relationship (not one with someone else). You have a right to tell her how you feel and have a discussion with her about it. I'm sure you can come to some sort of understanding. And if not, then maybe talk to someone outside the family. But don't go behind her back and talk to someone else about it unless it's 100% necessary for your family. She needs to know how you feel.
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
I know it must feel awful. But you have to remember that your parents still love you, they just don't have time to show it sometimes. Autism requires a lot of work, attention, and support. Unfortunately that's a sacrifice you make for family. Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. They're doing this for the family.
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Just go to hottopic get too many band t-shirts and a homestuck t-shirt put on black pants and cardigan and anime character shoes and the end  My life.
reply about 3 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
Why not both? :p
reply about 3 hours

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