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What Is Bullying?

On March 21, 2005, 16 year-old Jeff Weise of Red Lake, Minnesota arrived at school and killed five students, one teacher and one security guard, after already killing his grandfather and his grandfather's girlfriend. Many theories have been discussed as to why this horrible shooting took place, including that the young shooter had been continously bullied in school and out. Read on to find out how you can prevent bullying in your school.

Bully or Bully Hater?

Ask yourself this:

  • Do you make fun of people because of how they look or their grades?
  • Do you use physical force to get your way?
  • Are people afraid of you?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, YOU ARE A BULLY. Read on to get the scoop on what to do about bullying.

The Big, Bad Bully

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." Is that what your parents tell you to say to that kid in math class who makes fun of your hair? That'll make the whole thing go away, right? Not. Fat chance. If you actually uttered those words you should expect to be picked on - heck you'd probably make fun of yourself. So what does work when trying to make a bully back off?

Dealing with Bullying

First things first. Who are bullies? Look around, they come in all shapes, colors and clothes. They can be popular or nerdy kids. Anybody who makes fun of, scares or hurts someone for fun and sport is a bully. Think of everybody you know - chances are you may even know more than one. You may even be one sometimes.

You Go Girl? Bullies in All Shapes and Sizes

Bullies are not just mean boys. Girls bully too. Boy bullies think that they're tough guys and push, hit, kick or slam you into a locker. Ouch!!! You know, they do things that you can see. Girl bullies can be more conniving. They whisper things about you, tell their friends to dis' you and spread nasty rumors. You may not see what they are doing, but it hurts just as bad.

Bullies - Ya Talkin'to Me?

Bullying is more than teasing. It can be words, threats or fists. Check yourself, if you feel like you are being bullied, you probably are. That means you need to talk to a trusted adult ASAP. If you're feeling lost or left-out, talking to someone about it is a step in the right direction. Sure, they might not be able to stop all the bullying, but chances are a school counselor, teacher or parent will try their best to give you the tools to deal with the bullying head on.

Letting it Out - Bully Solutions

If you're feeling bullied at school, you need to start finding an outlet for your pain and frustration. It totally sucks to be made fun of and picked on and all that negative energy can cause you to start feeling angry and hateful. Instead of letting those jerks get to you, try finding an activity that makes you feel good about yourself. Whether it's a sport like soccer or mountain biking, or even getting in touch with your artistic side by starting to paint or sculpt, it helps to have something you can channel all that built up frustration into.

What Celeb's Have to Say About Bullies

Here's what celebrities think of bullying and bullies:

  • "Don't be scared to tell a teacher, an older brother or sister, or parent. They can help you." - Sharif Abdur-Rahim, Portland Trailblazers.
  • "Have respect for yourself and pride enough to meet the situation head on. Learn to 'fight back' peacefully." - Stu Jackson, Vice-President of Operations, NBA.
  • "I was really tall and skinny. Other kids would call me a long, legged puma... My parents instilled confidence in me and helped me understand that not everyone will like you, but that is their problem." - Charmaine Crooks, 5-Time Olympian, International Olympic Committee Member.
  • If you've got something you need to ask or vent, try writing to
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Poll

Have You Been Bullied?

  • Yeah, at school i get bullied
  • I've been bullied in the past
  • No, I've never been bullied
  • No... but I've bullied other people

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

PARTYHAT
PARTYHAT posted in Family Issues:
hey,  im so sorry about that, but one thing this reminds me of is my grandpa. he passed away when my dad was 12 years old and i never got to see him, he sounds soo nice. keep going  :thumbsup
reply about 12 hours
Littkekawaiiigirl
I have a friend, she was so nice and funny when my best friend and I met her on the first day of school. As months passed she started getting annoying. The way she texts, acts, and talks is starting to get annoying. Then she is becoming such a drama queen now. What should I do?
reply about 14 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Thank you for sharing something that has helped you cope with loss, and I'm sorry that you lost your friend and had to go through the grief and pain. I don't know what it is like, but I know there are a lot of people who do and would appreciate that you shared that way of coping. I hope that you are continuing to find more ways to deal with it, and don't forget those good memories you have with her. They'll always be yours to cherish.
reply about 15 hours
Kirsteeeeen
Hi Wonderfulcalico, I'm sorry to hear you're in such a bad situation. It must be tough, and it must be having a profound negative impact on you and those around you. It sounds like your mom has some things she needs to work out. But know that this behaviour from your parents is not okay. You shouldn't have to be subjected to this type of environment, which is toxic for your health physically and mentally. It also sounds like it is physically dangerous and it is making you live in fear, which is not okay. It is NOT your fault. If you feel that you are being abused, please get another trusted adult involved. Don't act on things that make you feel unsafe or confront your parents directly if you know they will act in a dangerous way. Your safety is number one. Try contacting another adult such as a teacher, a nurse, a doctor, a worship leader, social worker, child protective services, or call the police. Remember that 911 is also an option in any emergency, and that includes yourself being in danger from physical abuse. You can also call Your Life, Your Voice at 1-800-448-3000 , message them online, or even text them, or contact another local help line that you know. Please take care of yourself and stay safe. I know you may not want to do any of these things, and it's okay to feel that way, but also remember how important your safety is and make that a priority. 
reply about 15 hours
KayKayZ
KayKayZ posted in Friends:
Hmm, okay, well I'll try to give you the best advice that I can, Error. So you say you don't like your friend for a number of reasons: Liar, bad influence, uses swear words, too blunt, etc. I feel like some of these could be over-looked, such as the swearing and the 'bad influence' part. Really, all you have to do is just not copy her actions, and they won't be influential at all. If you disagree, it shouldn't be hard to just refuse to follow in her steps. However, lying isn't the best quality I would look for in a friend.  She doesn't seem like an enjoyable person to be around in general, which is why you are making this post, obviously. But I'm gonna ask you something here. Don't you think that, in a way, you're lying too? You're pretending to be her friend solely for purposes of monetary value because, I assume, your family cannot pay for or get you to gymnastic class themselves. If this is true, that's kind of bad, isn't it? It sounds like, to me, that your friendship isn't exactly a healthy relationship at all. But I'm gonna sympathize with you, since I know gymnastics must be important to you, and you wouldn't be doing this if you didn't have a good reason. So, what should you do about it? Well, personally I think there are a few things you could do. You could stop being her friend, therefore no longer having to deal with her; but in the process lose access to your gymnastics class and have to look for it in another way. On the flip side, you could continue to put up with her, which would probably not be in your best interests, but you'd still get to attend your class. Or, you could try talking to her about it. Ask her what she really thinks of your friendship, if she actually values you as her friend. Maybe you two can talk about problems that you're having with each other and work on fixing them. This option could have negative effects, since she might want to stop being your friend or things could become very awkward after that. But it's probably your best bet to be honest with her, as you'd hope she would be with you. How about if you tried being really nice to her? Kindness is contagious, and perhaps if you treat her well enough, she'll start doing the same to you. I feel like maybe if you complimented her, told her things that you really like about her, maybe even got her gifts or made her food once in a while, that she would come to appreciate you and all that you do for her. And in turn, she might start to respect you more herself, and become a good friend. That's about all I can say. If you're close enough with her mom, maybe you could even try asking her about her daughter and see if she can give you any advice. Hopefully that helped in some way, but if it didn't, maybe it at least made you think? I hope your problem gets resolved, Error, and you can be content with the outcome of it. :-)
reply 5 days