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Dear Dish-It: How Do I Make New Friends?

Dear Dish-It,

I just moved to a new house and a new school. Everyone at my new school has an attitude. They’re all really rude and the girls bring their cells to school and text each other – it’s very distracting and all the girls are very snobby and rude (but no one calls them “the snobs” they call them “the others.” I'm a tomboy and no one accepts that, which leaves me somewhere that's nowhere. I can't relate to anyone about my dogs or camping because they spend all their time at the mall. And the boys hate hanging with the girls so really I have no one! I don't plan to "fake it ’til you make it" because to make friends I have to be myself. I sit in at my desk and quietly do my work, hurry to my next class and go home, and the cycle starts all over again the next day. What can I do to make at least one friend here other than a teacher?


Sincerely,


The Other


Dear Other,


I’m sorry you’re finding it tough making new friends at your new school. Change can be hard sometimes – any kind of change is kind of a jar to the system. To leave everything you know, all your friends, your familiar school, the neighborhood you’ve lived in all your life, etc., is a very hard process to go through. The first piece of advice I have for you (before giving you some more practical tips) is to be patient. Change takes time, and getting used to new situations and people takes time, too. But in life, somehow, everything always seems to work out for the best – it just takes the right amount of time to pass.


The next important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Maybe there’s no one at your particular school that you feel you can relate to or connect with, but around the world there are other kids going through what you’re going through, too. Also, in years before you were even born, people went through situation similar to or even identical to yours. Somehow, they managed to make it through – and so will you.


Now, there are a couple of things you can do right now to try and make some new friends at your school and in your life. Just remember to keep an open mind and do the best with what you’ve got.


Step 1: Expand Your Mind
Just cause no one at your school is a tomboy like you or loves dogs and camping the way you do doesn’t mean they’re not friend-material. Try to look past people’s clothes and the attitudes they present at recess or lunch. I bet some of those kids – even “the others” – are fun, smart, cool decent people you could totally have fun with.


Step 2: Expand Your Universe
You have to realize that school isn’t the only place where you can meet new people and find friends. Check out some community groups, get a part-time job, volunteer, go to concerts you like, etc. There are plenty of cool kids out there – you’ve just got to go out and find them!


Finally, Kidzworld just reviewed a cool new book called 30 Days To Finding & Keeping Sassy Sidekicks & BFFs: A Friendship Field Guide by Clea Hantman. It’s a book full of friendship-related tips, advice and exercises you can actually test and try. Check it out!


So, ya got a burnin' question? Need some love direction? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex, how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. But remember, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your "username," ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters every day, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble! Oh! And if ya got words of wisdom you wanna share, we'll dish 'em up, too.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Dear Dish-It: I Want A Best Friend
  • Dear Dish-It: How Do I Adjust To A New School?
  • Dear Dish-It: I’m A Nice, Funny Loser
  • Get Involved With Student Council

  • 2 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    partydiva01
    partydiva01 posted in Friends:
    Dear dish it, my friend first met eachother on the first day of kindergarten we sat next to one another and we became close. we were BFF's throughout 1st to 2nd grades. then, the second grade teacher realized there were alot of kids in the class. and same w the 3rd grade teacher. so, we had to have a split class. my friend was in the split. I was not. It all seemed like the teachers were doing somthing... weired. all the girls (well, almost there were only 6 girls on one half) were in the split. and all the boys were in regular . AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS WEIRED! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( all the boy BFF's and the girl BFF's were SPLIT. me and my friend,kids named Nia & Georgia, Isaac& Ethan, and more. it was so sad for all of us.2 months later, I got homschooled. 2 years later im back in public with my 4th grade self. everything had changed. a bunch of people were obsessed w\ a girl my age named kassidy. im neighbors w\ kassidy and she is REALLY cool and nice. but the whole I  [s:sm3/1jw1] kassidy crew got mean. if I asked them to play they would say. "If Kassidy is playing I will" or I would want to be parteners with kassidy on something and they would freak out. anyway jasmine NEVER invited my to anything, and I am trying to be nice to her ( ice cream money, homework help, comfort when sad, ect.) And not to mention I invited her to 3 things!!! on the bright side she came to 2 :thumbsup :thumbsup she also embarassed me by saying that she was moving I freaked out  because I cared about her and I would cry all the time. I even held onto her and said sadly, "PLEASE DON'T GO!!  :sad :sad . later i found out that she was not moving, she was going to CA for a vacation. even the teacher was in on it!! :mad :mad anyways, my parents told me that i should just let go of her. But i am not ready. HELP??? :e :e :e :e :e
    reply 4 days
    PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
    When I was a child I wanted glasses SOO bad, cuz I wanted to copy my mom and sister. And also, I thought they looked cool. I wear glasses now. I have had them for 2 years and honestly I don't mind them. Although, this year I am gonna pry get contacts for swimming better and stuff like that. But if you don't need glasses I wouldn't recommend wearing them. They're not bad, but trust me after a while you will pry not like them as much. But hey, that's my opinion. If you want to do it I'm not gonna stop you. Do what makes you happy in the long run. And tell your friends that they are non prescription if you don't need them, but still get some.
    reply 5 days
    Bratayley_Fan_7
    She is not. I have faced this problem before so I know. You should make a new friend!
    reply 5 days
    ValenciaRose
    ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
    I agree I was afraid of that first too. Eventually I just began inviting my friends over and they don't use it/practically obsess over it like I do but they understood why I use kidzworld and not many other forms of social media. 
    reply 5 days
    ValenciaRose
    ValenciaRose posted in Friends:
    "btw_sports_rule" wrote:I really like a guy and people think he likes me. I like him but im really scared to tell anyone. I really need help but i don't know who to talk to. I can't talk to parents. They would put me in trouble for falling in love. They believe I can't date until age 20. Aw, well, my advice for you would be to talk to your parents about it. There's no point trying to sneak around like those films and it is better for your mind if you talk to them about it. It can be super difficult I know but if you and your parents get along really well then you guys can talk about it and make it work. On the other hand, if your parents ban you from falling in love as you put it, then I think it's better just to stay as friends with him. 
    reply 5 days