Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: How Do I Make New Friends?

Dear Dish-It,

I just moved to a new house and a new school. Everyone at my new school has an attitude. They’re all really rude and the girls bring their cells to school and text each other – it’s very distracting and all the girls are very snobby and rude (but no one calls them “the snobs” they call them “the others.” I'm a tomboy and no one accepts that, which leaves me somewhere that's nowhere. I can't relate to anyone about my dogs or camping because they spend all their time at the mall. And the boys hate hanging with the girls so really I have no one! I don't plan to "fake it ’til you make it" because to make friends I have to be myself. I sit in at my desk and quietly do my work, hurry to my next class and go home, and the cycle starts all over again the next day. What can I do to make at least one friend here other than a teacher?


Sincerely,


The Other


Dear Other,


I’m sorry you’re finding it tough making new friends at your new school. Change can be hard sometimes – any kind of change is kind of a jar to the system. To leave everything you know, all your friends, your familiar school, the neighborhood you’ve lived in all your life, etc., is a very hard process to go through. The first piece of advice I have for you (before giving you some more practical tips) is to be patient. Change takes time, and getting used to new situations and people takes time, too. But in life, somehow, everything always seems to work out for the best – it just takes the right amount of time to pass.


The next important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Maybe there’s no one at your particular school that you feel you can relate to or connect with, but around the world there are other kids going through what you’re going through, too. Also, in years before you were even born, people went through situation similar to or even identical to yours. Somehow, they managed to make it through – and so will you.


Now, there are a couple of things you can do right now to try and make some new friends at your school and in your life. Just remember to keep an open mind and do the best with what you’ve got.


Step 1: Expand Your Mind
Just cause no one at your school is a tomboy like you or loves dogs and camping the way you do doesn’t mean they’re not friend-material. Try to look past people’s clothes and the attitudes they present at recess or lunch. I bet some of those kids – even “the others” – are fun, smart, cool decent people you could totally have fun with.


Step 2: Expand Your Universe
You have to realize that school isn’t the only place where you can meet new people and find friends. Check out some community groups, get a part-time job, volunteer, go to concerts you like, etc. There are plenty of cool kids out there – you’ve just got to go out and find them!


Finally, Kidzworld just reviewed a cool new book called 30 Days To Finding & Keeping Sassy Sidekicks & BFFs: A Friendship Field Guide by Clea Hantman. It’s a book full of friendship-related tips, advice and exercises you can actually test and try. Check it out!


So, ya got a burnin' question? Need some love direction? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex, how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. But remember, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your "username," ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters every day, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble! Oh! And if ya got words of wisdom you wanna share, we'll dish 'em up, too.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • Dear Dish-It: I Want A Best Friend
  • Dear Dish-It: How Do I Adjust To A New School?
  • Dear Dish-It: I’m A Nice, Funny Loser
  • Get Involved With Student Council

  • 2 Comments

    latest videos

    F1060630976312

    Are You A Loner?

    • No way! I have millions of friends.
    • No - I'm usually hangin' with my best bud.
    • Sometimes I prefer to be by myself.
    • Yeah. I can't pay people to be my friends.

    related stories

    I’ve had a really good friend in my life for the past two years. I value and appreciate her so mu...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
    This is a really weird situation... Maybe she's feeling sorry for you?
    reply about 19 hours
    AnneS12
    AnneS12 posted in Family Issues:
    Well That is your choice who you want to stay with.Nobody can force you about it.When your parents see a family<a data-cke-saved-href=" lawyer, then he will ask you whom do you want to stay with and jury will decide.So dont worry .
    reply 2 days
    worldqweencc
    worldqweencc posted in Friends:
    I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
    reply 3 days
    catsandpizza
    catsandpizza posted in Style:
    American Apparel croptop, Juicy Couture velvet sweatpants and Uggs
    reply 3 days
    Heyyyyy_
    Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
    "donteatcarrots" wrote:I dunno, looks like something more than being friends is going on here. It's probably best to ask her face-to-face though, before jumping to conclusions. ^^^
    reply 3 days

    play online games