Kw-logo-holiday

Dear Dish-It: My Friends Are Fighting

Friends Don't Fight

Dear Dish-It,

All my friends fight continuously and because of that we are not as close as before. My friends and I talked and decided our ex-friend was the cause of all the fighting. After a while my friends said they wanted to be friends with her again – but I still hate her. Help me.

Tensed Friend


Dear TF,


I’m sad and sorry to hear that you and your friends fight so much. Actually, when I read your letter it sort of sounded like these people weren’t your friends at all. Friends don’t fight like cats and dogs. Sure, there’s a misunderstanding or argument in every once in a while, but the way you describe your fighting it sounds much more serious than that.


I also want to say that it was wrong for you and some of your friends to decide behind the girl’s back that she was the cause of all the fighting. I mean, eventually, your friends decided they wanted to hang out with her again, so what was the point of talking behind her back like that? I don’t know if she really did cause all the fighting or not, but the rest of you should have been the better people and not turned around and ganged up on her like that. To me, it sounds a lot like bullying.


Now, there seem to be a couple of issues you need to sort out for yourself. Remember, I’m giving this advice to you, not to the rest of your group of friends, because you’re the one who wrote in to me for help. If the rest of your friends want to know what they should do, they can write to me, too, in their own words, with their own side of the story.


So in your case, you need to sit back and really think long and hard about these friendships of yours. Like I said at the beginning of this note, it really doesn’t sound like you guys are all good friends at all, fighting constantly and ganging up behind each other’s backs. Do these girls really bring out the best in you like real friends should? Or do they make you into someone who tries to blame her problems on someone else and who uses the word “hate” to describe a fellow human being?


I say let your “friends” be friends with whoever they want. If they fought once they’ll probably fight again and break up as friends and, who knows, maybe even make up again to start the vicious cycle all over again. I think the time is right for you as an individual person with her own mind to decide to look for better friends – friends who don’t fight and cause drama and stress. Friends you can say are truly there for you, who your truly admire as people – friends you would never say that you “hate.”


And if you still believe this group of girls are the right friends for you, then you need to quickly shed your attitude of hate and blame and start acting like a good friend to them. Have you ever heard of the saying “Do unto other as you would have them do unto you?” Well, it basically means you should treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. If you stop fighting with everyone and going around placing blame and spewing hatred, and instead act kind and friendly and nice to everyone around you (no matter what you think of them and no matter what they do) then you may be surprised to see that your friends will start treating you with the same kindness and respect. And if they don’t, well, I’ve proved my case – these aren’t your real friends at all.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • School Violence
  • My Sister And I Always End Up Fighting
  • My Mom And I Fight A Lot

  • >

    readers voted!

    Comments

    Samir249

    Samir249 wrote:

    Things happen between friends. Although things shouldnt go too far. Its good to get over things as soon as possible before it gets worse. Important thing is that everyone deserves a chance and you should forgive and forget the whole thing. So start things with little bit of friendship and take thing slow like hangout say hi in the hallways. Dont be afraid though and friends are jerks and thats what friends are for. So get out there and apologize to your friends.
    commented: Sun Feb 23, 2014

    MonasYou

    MonasYou wrote:

    Friends SHOULDN'T fight
    commented: Sun Dec 29, 2013

    kc1000

    kc1000 wrote:

    true!!!!!!!!!!
    commented: Fri May 27, 2011

    there are 14 more comments

    Please login or register to add comments


    like this article?
    Sign up now to get more just like it!

    latest videos

    F1137624609703

    Ever Gone Out With Your Best Friend's Crush?

    • Yes. All's fair in love and war.
    • No. That's totally mean.
    • No - but I've thought about it.
    • I don't have a best friend.

    related stories

    I have been feeling terribly upset about something that keeps bothering me so much. At school my ...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    urifour11
    just did
    reply about 2 hours
    jaymir2cool14
    friend request me
    reply about 3 hours
    urifour11
    alright here we go i feel depressed like no one gets me and they all think im this perky girl. but im not...its just my act. my family drives me INSANE. i really wish they knew but i wish they didnt at the same time.....i find myself hateing comeing home and i DON'T want to talk to any of them. so i just stay locked up in my room trying to escape the world. 
    reply about 3 hours
    wwefan90
    wwefan90 posted in Family Issues:
    my mom is not around has not been fore 16 years 
    reply about 6 hours
    jaymir2cool14
    at should i do so i dont cry when she starts to argue about it and so i don i would read the bible every time ur mom argues, go some were and say dis OUR FATHER, WHO ARE IN HEAVEN HOLLOW BE THY NAME, THY KINGDOM COME THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IN HEAVEN, GIVE US THIS DAY ARE DAILEY BREAD AND FORGIVE US ARE DEPTS AS WE FORGIVE ARE DEPTERS, FOR THYNESS THY KINGDOM, THE POWER AND THE GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER AMEN, [friend request me]
    reply about 6 hours

    play online games

    Hour-of-code-tumb

    Codey the troll is lost! Help him avoid obstacles and get back into the computer...

    Candy-quest-feature

    Your troll is lost! Help it avoid obstacles and get back into the computer.

    Fo...

    Dragon-dash

    Your dragon must return to guard the treasure! Help it gather lost coins and avo...

    _thumb_100x100

    Shoot blobs with different properties to merge yellow blobs. Your blobs can be r...

    1005_cc_kidz_100x100_vlh

    Candy's got her candies into a terrible mess, can you help her to sort them out?

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    _thumb_100x100

    Bloons 2 is here! A worthy and awesome sequel at last to our original Bloons gam...

    Frostbox_100x100

    Explore the world or hang out with friends in your own condo. Get a unique look,...