-
x

Meet New Friends!

Recommended friends are based on your interests. Make sure they are up to date.

Friends
Kidzworld Logo

Dear Dish-It: My Friends Are Fighting

Dear Dish-It,

All my friends fight continuously and because of that we are not as close as before. My friends and I talked and decided our ex-friend was the cause of all the fighting. After a while my friends said they wanted to be friends with her again – but I still hate her. Help me.

Tensed Friend


Dear TF,


I’m sad and sorry to hear that you and your friends fight so much. Actually, when I read your letter it sort of sounded like these people weren’t your friends at all. Friends don’t fight like cats and dogs. Sure, there’s a misunderstanding or argument in every once in a while, but the way you describe your fighting it sounds much more serious than that.


I also want to say that it was wrong for you and some of your friends to decide behind the girl’s back that she was the cause of all the fighting. I mean, eventually, your friends decided they wanted to hang out with her again, so what was the point of talking behind her back like that? I don’t know if she really did cause all the fighting or not, but the rest of you should have been the better people and not turned around and ganged up on her like that. To me, it sounds a lot like bullying.


Now, there seem to be a couple of issues you need to sort out for yourself. Remember, I’m giving this advice to you, not to the rest of your group of friends, because you’re the one who wrote in to me for help. If the rest of your friends want to know what they should do, they can write to me, too, in their own words, with their own side of the story.


So in your case, you need to sit back and really think long and hard about these friendships of yours. Like I said at the beginning of this note, it really doesn’t sound like you guys are all good friends at all, fighting constantly and ganging up behind each other’s backs. Do these girls really bring out the best in you like real friends should? Or do they make you into someone who tries to blame her problems on someone else and who uses the word “hate” to describe a fellow human being?


I say let your “friends” be friends with whoever they want. If they fought once they’ll probably fight again and break up as friends and, who knows, maybe even make up again to start the vicious cycle all over again. I think the time is right for you as an individual person with her own mind to decide to look for better friends – friends who don’t fight and cause drama and stress. Friends you can say are truly there for you, who your truly admire as people – friends you would never say that you “hate.”


And if you still believe this group of girls are the right friends for you, then you need to quickly shed your attitude of hate and blame and start acting like a good friend to them. Have you ever heard of the saying “Do unto other as you would have them do unto you?” Well, it basically means you should treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. If you stop fighting with everyone and going around placing blame and spewing hatred, and instead act kind and friendly and nice to everyone around you (no matter what you think of them and no matter what they do) then you may be surprised to see that your friends will start treating you with the same kindness and respect. And if they don’t, well, I’ve proved my case – these aren’t your real friends at all.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • School Violence
  • My Sister And I Always End Up Fighting
  • My Mom And I Fight A Lot

  • 14 Comments

    Related Stories

    I have been feeling terribly upset about something that keeps bothering me so much. At school my ...
    F1137624609703

    Ever Gone Out With Your Best Friend's Crush?

    • Yes. All's fair in love and war.
    • No. That's totally mean.
    • No - but I've thought about it.
    • I don't have a best friend.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    skylar245
    skylar245 posted in Friends:
    "rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help. ​No one listens to me anyway but my friends
    reply 2 days
    rainbowpoptart
    rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
    "skylar245" wrote:Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help.
    reply 2 days
    skylar245
    skylar245 posted in Friends:
    "rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me Then report them to a teacher or the school counselor. Behaviour like that is not acceptable in the slightest. ​Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible
    reply 2 days
    rainbowpoptart
    rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
    "skylar245" wrote:My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me Then report them to a teacher or the school counselor. Behaviour like that is not acceptable in the slightest.
    reply 2 days
    skylar245
    skylar245 posted in Friends:
    "rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: Rainbowpoptart they don't just say things, it CAN get physical for a few days! like once someone punched me in shoulder because I blocked them hitting my stomach, and two girls who shall remain nameless fought on the bus, Physical? Well my gosh, report them to an authority figure! You can't let them get away with that kind of stuff. ​My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me
    reply 2 days