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Dear Dish-It, My Mom and I Fight a Lot

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".

Dear Dish-It,

Me and my mom don't have such a great relationship. We fight a lot and it always seems to be my fault. It is like she never does anything wrong, but I know that she does... and that really frustrates me cuz I don't always do everything that makes us fight all the time. And then my dad is remarried and me and my stepmom don't get along that well either because she thinks I am jealous of her and my dad because she gets all of the attention and I don't get any. So the best thing I have mother-wise is my best friend and she knows exactly what I am going through... but I wanna be able to have a real mom. Please tell me what to do.
iluvkylied

Dear iluvkylied,

Everyone needs a loving and supportive mom to talk to, give us advice and help us solve our problems, so I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going well at home. I'm glad to know that you have such an awesome best friend though!

Your mom could be having a tough time dealing with all the changes - the divorce, your dad's new marriage, his new wife - and is taking her frustration out on you. I know it's not fair, but we all tend to take things out on the people who are closest to us. I think your mom needs a little time to adjust to everything, so just be patient with her, even when she's blaming you for something that's totally not your fault. One way to help her deal is by giving her space, but letting her know you're around if she wants to talk. You could also help her get her mind off the sad stuff by doing something fun together, like going shopping, watching movies or pigging out on cookies and ice cream.

You should also sit down with your mom and dad and have a heart-to-heart. It's best to talk to them when everyone's chill, not during the middle of a heated argument. Be open and honest when you let 'em know how upset you are about the frequent arguments with your mom and the lack of attention from your dad. Hopefully once they see how upset and frustrated you are, they'll see the error of their ways (yes, parents make mistakes too!), be more understanding of you and work out a compromise. I hope this helps, iluvkylied - good luck!

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to here. But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share, We'll dish 'em up, too.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

-Gwen9--
-Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
"jordand08" wrote:Thank you.You're welcome. :)
reply 12 minutes
donteatcarrots
talk to the person you're closest too. yes, you said you don't get close with people, but there's probably one person who you speak to more often than others- talk to that person.
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Don't worry too much- it's only your first relationship- but I'd sit down with him at one point, and discuss what makes you uncomfortable, eg; if you know what I mean...
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Probably sound a little stereotypical, but the majority of boys don't really act like that... Ask him :p
reply about 2 hours
kittenkid
First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
reply about 4 hours

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