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Dear Dish-It, My Parents Are the Worst!


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

I am so freaked when it comes to spiders that it isn't even funny! I made myself sick from just seeing a spider on the wall and once, when I was laying on my bed about to go to sleep, I thought I saw a spider and I got all freaked! Then I couldn't get to sleep and then I started seeing spiders that weren't there. In the morning I had like 10 spider bites all over me. And, just to tell U, when ever a spider bites me, it swells up because I am allergic. What do I do to become a little less wigged-out over spiders? Please, please, please help!
sk8ting_chick


Dear sk8ting_chick,

Take a DEEP breath! It sounds like you've got a pretty real phobia of the eight-legged kind! I know it's hard, but next time you see a spider, remind yourself of these things: It's smaller than you. It's an insect. It's probably more interested in flies than you. Then take a magazine, a book, your shoe - whatever - and stomp it to death. That always makes me feel better when I find myself face-to-face with those icky creatures. Here's what concerns me - you're freaking over something (spiders) that isn't happening. Don't get wigged-out because of what you "might" see or because a spider "might" be hiding in your bedroom. You can't control everything in life and stressin' about it doesn't help anything. If your phobia starts getting worse, talk to someone about it like your mom or a trusted relative. Good luck!


Dear Dish-It,

I don't mean to brag but I'm the most popular girl in 7th grade and my BF is too. He is so cute, athletic, popular. Oh gosh, I can't belive he is mine. But one problem - my parent's will not let me go to the 7th grade dance. I've talked back to them and told them they are the worst parents ever but they won't listen. And if I don't go to the dance then I will ruin my reputation... EVERYWHERE! The school dance is only a only a week away so plz respond soon. I'm crying right now, so plz help A.S.A.P! If U help me U are the best person in this world!
fallingforlove01


Dear fallingforlove01,

You might not think I am "the best person in the world" when you hear my response, but since you asked... I think that you totally need to get a grip. Missing one dance will suck (cuz you obviously want to go) but it will not ruin your life. If you're seriously trying to persuade your 'rents to change their mind, I doubt that "talking back" and telling them they are the "worst parents in the world" are ways to help your case. Have you actually listened to why they don't want you to go? If you're popular because people think you're a cool chick, that won't change because you miss one dance. And, if it does, the people who will no longer like you aren't worth your time anyway. And what difference does it make if you've got that cool boyfriend. He won't leave ya cuz you miss one school dance. Be mature about missing the dance and talk rationally to your parents about what they need to see from you in order to let you catch the next shin-dig.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 46 Comments

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    Last year me and my BF had to break up cuz of letters my sister found that me and my BF wrote to ...
    Poll 1

    Parents - Strict or Laid-Back?

    • Laid-back - they let me do just about anything.
    • Strict - they monitor me all the time and are always on my case.
    • Somewhere in between. My parents like to know what I am up to, but aren't annoying.
    • They're always on my case cuz I'm always getting caught doing things I shouldn't.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Autonomy
    "Lulu335" wrote: I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!! Oh sweetheart, your situation is so, so very far from being complicated. In fact, it's actually, entirely simple. But I'm here to help you see that, because you can't see it yourself quite yet. Brace yourself, you may never hear such advice in your life ever again. Or you might, I can't predict the future. You're in sixth grade, you said. Assuming you live in the United states and weren't held back, you're probably 12, maybe 11. The problem is, the human brain isn't fully developed until a person hits the age of about 25. This means, without debate, that your brain unable to fully grasp what being in a relationship actually entails, what it means, what the consequences are, and so forth. You can't even fathom it, my dear. I couldn't at your age; no one can. You've just begun to hit puberty at this point in your very young, completely normal life. Certain hormones are now being developed by your body that, up until puberty began, your body did not produce. Let me explain, in simple terms, what this means: these new hormones are giving you fuzzy feelings for boys, but these feelings are not what people with fully developed brains call "love." Love means being self sacrificing, compromising, giving and taking, communicating clearly and honestly, and so much more. What you're feeling is a part of love-romance-but it's not all there is to love. It's actually just a few simple chemicals being released in your brain: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and few others. Your brain releases those chemicals when, say, you see a boy you like, and those chemicals make you feel all fuzzy inside. In fact, (brace yourself,) there's nothing inherently special about the boys you like, or the boys that like you; in fact, they're also, entirely normal, and aside from a few minor differences in character, completely like most other boys their age. Had you been born in another town, gone to another school, you would have gotten the same fuzzy feeling about whatever boy you thought you liked at that school. You see? I'm not saying this to make you feel insignificant, but perhaps the insight will make moving easier for you. The next place your militant parents settle down in will also have a middle school, with a bunch of normal 11-14 year old boys and girls, all doing the exact same things the kids at your school do right now. Does that put things in perspective for you? The world is a very, very big place, and it's home to billions upon billions of people. Your situation is far from being a needle in a hay stack; it's more like a blade of grass, in a vast field of foliage. The feelings you're feeling aren't uncommon or complicated, they just feel that way to you. (Now, really brace yourself, because this is going to get uncomfortable.) We, as people, tend to think that we're special. Each one of us a unique snowflake, drifting about in big blue sky, that exists solely to show the world how special we are. The problem is, the other seven billions snowflakes (people) think exactly like we do, and in this way, we are all the same. We think our problems are new problems that no one has ever dealt with before, and no one else could possibly understand the pain and suffering we're going through. We all think this way, by nature; but it's simply naive. Heartache and suffering have existed since people existed, and possibly before then. Your situation may not be ideal to you, but once you come to terms with the fact that life isn't ideal for anyone, you might actually feel comfort. The easiest way to cope with our many problems, is to accept them for what they are: a part of the human experience. Natural, normal, repeating generation after generation without end. Again, these are concepts that require some deep thought, and you might not fully grasp them quite yet. But remember them. With time, as you grow, think about them more, and you will find peace with your life. And remember this: although you're stuck (for now) on a giant rock hurling around the sun at an incredible speed, you're not alone. With billions of other people stuck here with you, you'll never be without friends.
    reply about 8 hours
    Fun_125
    I personally think that when you ARE ready then go for it! As long as the person you like isn't a jerk to anyone or you go for it! Just don't get too serious. It's middle school. Good luck!
    reply about 10 hours
    Error44
    "Lulu335" wrote:I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!!I know, it is too late but I think you should not go for a deeper relationship, don't make it hard for yourself and try to be his just friend because you are so young .
    reply about 13 hours
    Error44
    "queenslay173" wrote:I was at school when I noticed people started to tell me this boy liked me and I thought it was cool because I'm used to that type of stuff then we started to dated in October we broke up right before christmas and it was so strange. we got back together in the beginning of January and we broke up again on the 4 my friends are really mad at me and he seemed really upset I like him but I just don't want to be with him anymore what should I do ?- confused lover Tell him your reasons and make it clear for both of you
    reply about 13 hours
    lottie_h141
    lottie_h141 posted in Style:
    thank u!!! acc helps so much. Obvs going to superstars aswell 
    reply 3 days