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Dear Dish-It: Do I Do Long-Distance?

Dear Dish-It,


I've been going out with this AMAZING girl for about 4 months. She means the world to me. We clicked on the first day and are still going strong. We relate to each other well but something recently slowed our relationship. Two weeks ago she moved to Egypt with plans to stay there for a year. I was devastated, even though I knew of the move long before it came – it hit me all at once on that day. I’m lonely without her, as pitiful as it may sound. The situation has got me asking questions like are the 5-10 minute conversations per day enough to make it through the year? Is it worth the wait? Do long-distance relationships ever work? Can I trust her?


JustCurious


Dear JC,


I’m sorry to hear your love has left for a year. However, I don’t think the situation is as bad – or as difficult – as you are making it out to be. First and foremost, you need to remember how lucky you are to have already found someone you care about so much, and who seems to care about you a whole lot in return. Some people have a much harder time finding love – that’s something to feel good about, whether it is forever or not.


I’m sorry you feel so lonely without your girlfriend, but what happened to all your other friends, and your family? Did they go to Egypt, too? I’m guessing the answer to that is no, and this may be a good opportunity for you to reconnect with the other people in your life. It sounds like, while your girlfriend was close, you may have neglected your other relationships in favor of hanging out with and getting closer to her. But the truth is, no matter what kind of relationship you find yourself in, you need to keep a good support system of other people around you – you never know when you may need them.


In terms of the long-distance thing, you have to know that thinking about stereotypes and over-generalizing the situation is never a good idea. What may be true for others isn’t necessarily true for you. If you’re feeling like you want out of the relationship while it isn’t one you can experience in person, then I suggest you talk to your girlfriend about that and let her know that you may be willing to try and pick things up again where they left off once she returns home, but that it’s just too hard for you to have a relationship where you’re separated by an entire ocean. She may not understand where you’re coming from or feel the same way, but you need to do what’s best for you at this point in your life.


If you do want to be with her and continue trying to work on the relationship despite her being so far away, then that’s what you should do. In this case, only time will tell whether things will work out between the two of you or not. But if you love her and want to be with her, then isn’t it worth taking the chance to find out?


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More Dish-It Advice:

  • Can My Long-Distance Relationship Work?
  • My Girlfriend Moved Away
  • I Like A Girl In Another Country
  • Should I Just Forget Her?
  • 2 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    -Gwen9--
    -Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
    "jordand08" wrote:Thank you.You're welcome. :)
    reply 12 minutes
    donteatcarrots
    talk to the person you're closest too. yes, you said you don't get close with people, but there's probably one person who you speak to more often than others- talk to that person.
    reply about 2 hours
    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
    Don't worry too much- it's only your first relationship- but I'd sit down with him at one point, and discuss what makes you uncomfortable, eg; if you know what I mean...
    reply about 2 hours
    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
    Probably sound a little stereotypical, but the majority of boys don't really act like that... Ask him :p
    reply about 2 hours
    kittenkid
    First: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T KILL YOUSELF! When you get past this you'll be glad. Well, this is just my opinion, but I think you should first find someone, anyone, even if you don't trust them, if there're your parents talk to them about it. I bet a bunch of people have already told you this but there're right. Before you walk up to them, write down what you're going to say and then think of a few questions they might ask and write down the answers to them. Remember to tell them that it might take you a minute to think of an answer. Before you answer, think of the exact words you will say  before you say anything, and think in your mind about it. Think about wether it is a lie or not before you say it. If it gets out of you mouth before you realize it is a lie, don't be afraid to say so and just say the truth. Also, just try to find something you like to do that will take your mind off everything. If you really can't think of anything, try just practicing saying your feelings to yourself, or a pillow or something.  Hope this helps!
    reply about 4 hours

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