Dear Dish-It: Do I Do Long-Distance?
I've been going out with this AMAZING girl for about 4 months. She means the world to me. We clicked on the first day and are still going strong. We relate to each other well but something recently slowed our relationship. Two weeks ago she moved to Egypt with plans to stay there for a year. I was devastated, even though I knew of the move long before it came – it hit me all at once on that day. I’m lonely without her, as pitiful as it may sound. The situation has got me asking questions like are the 5-10 minute conversations per day enough to make it through the year? Is it worth the wait? Do long-distance relationships ever work? Can I trust her?
I’m sorry to hear your love has left for a year. However, I don’t think the situation is as bad – or as difficult – as you are making it out to be. First and foremost, you need to remember how lucky you are to have already found someone you care about so much, and who seems to care about you a whole lot in return. Some people have a much harder time finding love – that’s something to feel good about, whether it is forever or not.
I’m sorry you feel so lonely without your girlfriend, but what happened to all your other friends, and your family? Did they go to Egypt, too? I’m guessing the answer to that is no, and this may be a good opportunity for you to reconnect with the other people in your life. It sounds like, while your girlfriend was close, you may have neglected your other relationships in favor of hanging out with and getting closer to her. But the truth is, no matter what kind of relationship you find yourself in, you need to keep a good support system of other people around you – you never know when you may need them.
In terms of the long-distance thing, you have to know that thinking about stereotypes and over-generalizing the situation is never a good idea. What may be true for others isn’t necessarily true for you. If you’re feeling like you want out of the relationship while it isn’t one you can experience in person, then I suggest you talk to your girlfriend about that and let her know that you may be willing to try and pick things up again where they left off once she returns home, but that it’s just too hard for you to have a relationship where you’re separated by an entire ocean. She may not understand where you’re coming from or feel the same way, but you need to do what’s best for you at this point in your life.
If you do want to be with her and continue trying to work on the relationship despite her being so far away, then that’s what you should do. In this case, only time will tell whether things will work out between the two of you or not. But if you love her and want to be with her, then isn’t it worth taking the chance to find out?
If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.
More Dish-It Advice: