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Dear Dish-It: Do I Do Long-Distance?

Dear Dish-It,


I've been going out with this AMAZING girl for about 4 months. She means the world to me. We clicked on the first day and are still going strong. We relate to each other well but something recently slowed our relationship. Two weeks ago she moved to Egypt with plans to stay there for a year. I was devastated, even though I knew of the move long before it came – it hit me all at once on that day. I’m lonely without her, as pitiful as it may sound. The situation has got me asking questions like are the 5-10 minute conversations per day enough to make it through the year? Is it worth the wait? Do long-distance relationships ever work? Can I trust her?


JustCurious


Dear JC,


I’m sorry to hear your love has left for a year. However, I don’t think the situation is as bad – or as difficult – as you are making it out to be. First and foremost, you need to remember how lucky you are to have already found someone you care about so much, and who seems to care about you a whole lot in return. Some people have a much harder time finding love – that’s something to feel good about, whether it is forever or not.


I’m sorry you feel so lonely without your girlfriend, but what happened to all your other friends, and your family? Did they go to Egypt, too? I’m guessing the answer to that is no, and this may be a good opportunity for you to reconnect with the other people in your life. It sounds like, while your girlfriend was close, you may have neglected your other relationships in favor of hanging out with and getting closer to her. But the truth is, no matter what kind of relationship you find yourself in, you need to keep a good support system of other people around you – you never know when you may need them.


In terms of the long-distance thing, you have to know that thinking about stereotypes and over-generalizing the situation is never a good idea. What may be true for others isn’t necessarily true for you. If you’re feeling like you want out of the relationship while it isn’t one you can experience in person, then I suggest you talk to your girlfriend about that and let her know that you may be willing to try and pick things up again where they left off once she returns home, but that it’s just too hard for you to have a relationship where you’re separated by an entire ocean. She may not understand where you’re coming from or feel the same way, but you need to do what’s best for you at this point in your life.


If you do want to be with her and continue trying to work on the relationship despite her being so far away, then that’s what you should do. In this case, only time will tell whether things will work out between the two of you or not. But if you love her and want to be with her, then isn’t it worth taking the chance to find out?


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • Can My Long-Distance Relationship Work?
  • My Girlfriend Moved Away
  • I Like A Girl In Another Country
  • Should I Just Forget Her?
  • 2 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    labimba
    labimba posted in Style:
    Neko girl I have to get back in shape for September if u want we can be training buddies!  :)  
    reply about 12 hours
    animallover468
    animallover468 posted in Style:
    EndlessDream is right. Skipping breakfast and lunch can result in stomach ulcers and sudden weight gain (had personal experience...), ESPECIALLY skipping breakfast! You have to incorporate exercise in your daily routine. Stomach and body fat is mostly caused by lack of exercise, and maybe that means you need to do toning exercises. Try doing simple exercise videos like the 3-mile powerwalk on YouTube (trust me, I sweat like crazy when I do those workouts). Anything that gets you sweating, is the kind of exercise you need to do.  I hated working out when I first started my weight loss journey too. I would always start wheezing every time I started working out. But after pushing through everyday, I think working out is one of the best stress busters I've ever had!  If you want to lower your appetite though, I suggest eating a full lunch and breakfast and skipping your dinner. If you can't skip dinner, then at least try aiming for an early dinner, around 5:30 or 6:00. Your body needs time to digest at least 4 hours before you sleep. I started gaining weight around puberty when I was 12, it could be the same for you too.  But honestly, there's nothing wrong with having consciousness about your weight. Now starving yourself and dieting is BAD, but there's nothing wrong with changing your lifestyle in order to be fit. It's a good thing that kids start caring about their health, and the earlier you start, the better off you are. 
    reply about 13 hours
    EndlessDream
    EndlessDream posted in Style:
    You need breakfast and lunch. Starving yourself, even if you aren't hungry, makes you loose energy to the point you could pass out from not eating. Keep your diet healthy. For breakfast, at least have yogurt, fruit, and juice. Drink at least 4 full glasses of water a day. Trim down on the snacks. Everyone has different bodies and build. You may just be large-boned. And that's not bad! That makes you stronger and higher ability to gain muscle. Loosing weight doesn't happen over night. It can take months. 
    reply 1 day
    Nekogirl101
    Nekogirl101 posted in Style:
    For years my parents would tell me I'm skinny but compared to other people, my waist was bigger and I would always hide it. Though it was obvious I weighed more, I've only been doing this for a week and I didn't ever tell anyone what I was doing until my parents found out. I would skip lunch and breakfast and say I was full. I only ate a big dinner every night. Once my parents found out, they said it was unhealthy and if I didn't  stop, I would develop an eating disorder. I obviously listened to them, but I've tried as best as I can so far. I have barely lost any weight from exercise and my parents won't let me go on a diet because I already 'eat healthy enough'. I want to lose weight without exercising being 3/4s of my lifestyle. I know, I'm a lazy idiot for saying all this.
    reply 1 day
    rainbowpoptart
    Yes, purely for the fact that you should not "hate" your sister (or anyone, for that matter).  I'm guessing by "get in trouble for her", you mean she does something wrong and the blame is all put on you? Yeah, little siblings tend to do that a lot. My brother did for the longest time, until my parents found out how much a liar he is. She, hopefully, will grow out of this eventually. Either that, or your parent[s]/guardian[s] will eventually see through her. You lose your friends to her? By this do you mean your friends want to hang out with her and they want you to tag along and you don't? Or do you mean your friends chose your sister over you? If it's the latter, then perhaps you shouldn't have ever referred to those people as friends. You'll find friends who'll prefer you over your sister, I'm sure of it. The only thing I can tell you to do is try to get along with your sister. Every group of siblings has their cats and dogs moment in life, but they grow out of it (most of the time; there are, of course, circumstances where it doesn't work out that way). Please be grateful for your sister, even if you two fight a lot. You never know how much you need something until it's gone.
    reply 2 days