Dear Dish-It, My Friends Are Mean

Dear Dish-It,

Last year, sometime, I found out that this guy was my cousin, and he's like really popular with all the girls in our class... he is a really distant cousin. He is my step, step, cousin, so it doesn't really mean we're cousins at all. Only the smallest bit. Now, I have never had a crush or anything on him, and I have a boyfriend, and we've been together for three months, but I just started to realize at camp (just a little while ago,) that I do have strong feelings for him... my cousin I mean. If I tell him, I think he'll start acting funny and reject me, but if I don't, I'll never know what he'll say. I don't wanna hurt my boyfriend either. What should I do? Please help!

Dear skate,

Leave it alone girl. Just leave it alone. You got a hottie to keep you company. A hottie you like and don't wanna hurt. That's all I need to know. Never mind 'bout how your cousin will act if he finds out you've been thinkin' of him. You will hurt your boy if he finds out. And it's kinda dissing him if you start makin' like you've gotta thing for another. The answer, girl, is do not tell your cuz anything. You never know what could happen in the future. If it's meant to be, it will be.

Dear Dish-It,

(Click here to read LILBABYT's Dear Dish-It question.) I think you should ask Anthony if he likes you or his x. Then you should know what to do.

Dear kzkool,

Nice advice girl. The straight up approach is always good.

Dear Dish-It,

(Click here to read Anonymous's Dear Dish-It question.) Anonymous, are you serious? How old are you? Gosh, this is just my opinion, but that is as stupid as heck! Aren't you afraid of what it is gonna do to your rep and everything else? Anything like that can screw up your life in an instant!

Dear RoxyGirl77077,

Truth girl. You called it right!

Dear Dish-It,

My friends are sometimes mean to me. When I stand up for myself they (she) makes up a mean joke and then all my friends laugh. I can't do anything about this. Please don't put my e-mail on this or else, they will know and then get mad at me. I can't just stop being friends with them. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. I've been friends with them a long time and they were always a little mean, but it just keeps getting worse. Please, help me. I don't know what to do. You don't understand - I can't even say how bad it sometimes gets. They're funny and fun, but something always happens when I'm with them that makes me feel like crap. I'm going CRAZY.

Like, for instance, when I'm standing up for myself, she says that I'm on my period and the other two laugh. I need help. You probably don't care much for my situation. I'd be surprised if you have even read this far. If you have, thank you. You are the only person I have to talk to. And I don't think you care, but I'd just like to let you know that it makes me feel better just letting out all my pain... even if no one is listening. My parents aren't divorced or anything like that. I actually have a pretty good life, but I'm going to high school in 2 years and I'm scared. I think the high school I'm going to go to is pretty good... but I'm scared of new surroundings and new people and new teachers and everything. In away, I think it will be a good turning point in my life. I can start off brand new. I'm writing a really long e-mail, but I have so much to say. You don't have to answer me back, just the fact that I let that all out is good enough. Thanx. Your a giant help. It's 11:51, so I'll say good bye, good luck and good night.

Dear Friend,

Wow! You've gotta lot of feelings swirlin' around inside of ya. I'm glad you wrote to me, cuz believe it or not, I felt like that too. What's amazing is that the peeps around you probably have no idea about how stressed you are. It sounds like you're pretty sensitive and there's nuttin' wrong with that. Think 'bout all the cool things sensitive peeps grow up to do. They become artists, writers, musicians, doctors, psychologists and much more. Not only do they do totally cool things but they're totally cool peeps too. Did you know some of the most successful, cool and famous people felt exactly like you when they were in school. Check out these quotes:

"I was so happy and sunny at school that the other kids just hated me. I had to hide in the teacher's parking lot once because this huge group of girls wanted to beat me up - just for being so happy."
Brandy, to Jumpmagazine.

"Growing up, all the other girls at school were taking dance. They thought it was weird that I was into archery. But I didn't worry about what they thought. I went for what's important to me."
Karen Scavotto, to YM magazine. Karen was the youngest member of the US Olympic archery team at the Sydney games.

"Puberty was definitely awkward for me. I grew up in Oklahoma and I think I weighed a whopping 85 pounds in eighth grade. And in Oklahoma, if you don't play sports, they basically throw you in the trash."
James Marsden, (X-Men leader Cyclops,) on feeling like an outcast.

"When I was 8 years old, I went to camp. We had just come back from the pool and I had forgotten an extra pair of underwear, so I just put my shorts on. Later, during an assembly, this boy I had a crush on pulled my pants down and I had nothing on underneath. I was so mortified, I ran back to the pool and stayed there all day."
Pink to Teen People on her most embarrassing moment.

Girl, the point is everyone feels like an outcast, or is shy, or gets totally abused by the peeps they go to school with. The trick is not to let it get to you. Even better, turn your negative feelings into your strength. Make them the engine that drives you forward to success. You are as great as you wanna be, so go for it! As for your friends... I'd chill on that front. Don't spend too much time with peeps who wanna knock you down.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Hmmm....Then she mustn't be necessarily "using" you, if she is not getting something in return ( As far as we know of). However, It does sound like she is being extremely unfair. That just might be how she is. Not exactly loyal to anyone. Well, try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. And, if it doesn't work out, then she might not be a great friend to hang around with, and maybe you will find someone else who enjoys your company. I hope this helps, and good luck :)
    reply about 6 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    No not really. Like I said, one minute she's all smiley and then she doesn't even look at me. Most of the time I see her with Daniela and Andrea. Today she was asking me if I was going to hang out with her, Daniela, Andrea and Luisa during recess. When I told her that I was 'going to have to think' she was like, "Whatever." and ran off to catch up with the Threesome. Thanks. :)
    reply about 6 hours
    EndlessDream posted in Friends:
    Is she asking you to do things for her? Like help with homework, carry her books and so on?
    reply about 6 hours
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    This is gonna be long:   I have this 'friend' Amelia. She and I bonded really fast last year and we've become inseparable.   But lately she's blowing me off and my other best friend Belen told me: Amelia is actually using you. She does this to new kids at school, especially from foreign countries. She thinks because you're Chinese and the Chinese teacher's daughter, you'll help her. She's also using you as a backup friend - a substitute. There's this new girl Daniela, who Amelia thinks is her new best friend. She thinks that when Daniela stop hanging out with her, she'll have you.   The thing is, Daniela is pretty nice and she probably doesn't know all the trouble she's causing. Belen's old 'best friend' Andrea is doing the same to her.   I also learned that Amelia is seemingly the 'most popular girl in school' because she's mean to everyone. She always passes by the little kids' classrooms and hugs them & stuff. They seem to love her, but now I know it's because they think if they're nice they won't get bullied.   Maybe she WAS using me but I dunno. Belen says that each kid in the entire school has a bad story about Amelia and something she did to them. I said, "Then how was she so nice to me last year?" Then Belen was all like, "She was using you."   I don't know if she's telling the truth. She and Amelia are deadly enemies and she might be making up the whole Amelia story just to get back at her. Although Amelia has been dropping a few signs that she IS using me as a substitute friend.   Sometimes when I walk in, she'll be like "OOOOHHH! CASSANDRA! HI! HOW ARE YOU! C'MON, LOOK AT THIS! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOOOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER ..."   And other times I'm like, "Hey, Amelia!" and she says, "Oh. Huh? Yeah, hi ..."  Once during PE we had to sit down and on the way to the gym, she was chatting with me in a BBBBFFFF way. But then when we had to partner up she said with Andrea, Daniela and someone else who I forgot.   I don't know what to do. It's just so weird. Even though now I know she MIGHT be using me (I'm not sure if she really is) it just seems WEIRD. Even for a supposed ##### she was my possibly fake best friend for the whole of last year. It's WEIRD to suddenly switch.   I don't even know if this should be happening. We've only just started 5th grade. Doesn't this WEIRD #### start happening around middle school? Thank you, everyone who will help in advance. P.S. Please include flirting advice. - A Girl Who Might Just Lose Her Possibly Fake Best Friend
    reply about 7 hours
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