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Dear Dish-It, My Friends Are Mean

Dear Dish-It,

Last year, sometime, I found out that this guy was my cousin, and he's like really popular with all the girls in our class... he is a really distant cousin. He is my step, step, cousin, so it doesn't really mean we're cousins at all. Only the smallest bit. Now, I have never had a crush or anything on him, and I have a boyfriend, and we've been together for three months, but I just started to realize at camp (just a little while ago,) that I do have strong feelings for him... my cousin I mean. If I tell him, I think he'll start acting funny and reject me, but if I don't, I'll never know what he'll say. I don't wanna hurt my boyfriend either. What should I do? Please help!
skate


Dear skate,

Leave it alone girl. Just leave it alone. You got a hottie to keep you company. A hottie you like and don't wanna hurt. That's all I need to know. Never mind 'bout how your cousin will act if he finds out you've been thinkin' of him. You will hurt your boy if he finds out. And it's kinda dissing him if you start makin' like you've gotta thing for another. The answer, girl, is do not tell your cuz anything. You never know what could happen in the future. If it's meant to be, it will be.


Dear Dish-It,

(Click here to read LILBABYT's Dear Dish-It question.) I think you should ask Anthony if he likes you or his x. Then you should know what to do.
kz2kool


Dear kzkool,

Nice advice girl. The straight up approach is always good.


Dear Dish-It,

(Click here to read Anonymous's Dear Dish-It question.) Anonymous, are you serious? How old are you? Gosh, this is just my opinion, but that is as stupid as heck! Aren't you afraid of what it is gonna do to your rep and everything else? Anything like that can screw up your life in an instant!
RoxyGirl77077


Dear RoxyGirl77077,

Truth girl. You called it right!


Dear Dish-It,

My friends are sometimes mean to me. When I stand up for myself they (she) makes up a mean joke and then all my friends laugh. I can't do anything about this. Please don't put my e-mail on this or else, they will know and then get mad at me. I can't just stop being friends with them. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. I've been friends with them a long time and they were always a little mean, but it just keeps getting worse. Please, help me. I don't know what to do. You don't understand - I can't even say how bad it sometimes gets. They're funny and fun, but something always happens when I'm with them that makes me feel like crap. I'm going CRAZY.


Like, for instance, when I'm standing up for myself, she says that I'm on my period and the other two laugh. I need help. You probably don't care much for my situation. I'd be surprised if you have even read this far. If you have, thank you. You are the only person I have to talk to. And I don't think you care, but I'd just like to let you know that it makes me feel better just letting out all my pain... even if no one is listening. My parents aren't divorced or anything like that. I actually have a pretty good life, but I'm going to high school in 2 years and I'm scared. I think the high school I'm going to go to is pretty good... but I'm scared of new surroundings and new people and new teachers and everything. In away, I think it will be a good turning point in my life. I can start off brand new. I'm writing a really long e-mail, but I have so much to say. You don't have to answer me back, just the fact that I let that all out is good enough. Thanx. Your a giant help. It's 11:51, so I'll say good bye, good luck and good night.
Friend


Dear Friend,

Wow! You've gotta lot of feelings swirlin' around inside of ya. I'm glad you wrote to me, cuz believe it or not, I felt like that too. What's amazing is that the peeps around you probably have no idea about how stressed you are. It sounds like you're pretty sensitive and there's nuttin' wrong with that. Think 'bout all the cool things sensitive peeps grow up to do. They become artists, writers, musicians, doctors, psychologists and much more. Not only do they do totally cool things but they're totally cool peeps too. Did you know some of the most successful, cool and famous people felt exactly like you when they were in school. Check out these quotes:


"I was so happy and sunny at school that the other kids just hated me. I had to hide in the teacher's parking lot once because this huge group of girls wanted to beat me up - just for being so happy."
Brandy, to Jumpmagazine.


"Growing up, all the other girls at school were taking dance. They thought it was weird that I was into archery. But I didn't worry about what they thought. I went for what's important to me."
Karen Scavotto, to YM magazine. Karen was the youngest member of the US Olympic archery team at the Sydney games.


"Puberty was definitely awkward for me. I grew up in Oklahoma and I think I weighed a whopping 85 pounds in eighth grade. And in Oklahoma, if you don't play sports, they basically throw you in the trash."
James Marsden, (X-Men leader Cyclops,) on feeling like an outcast.


"When I was 8 years old, I went to camp. We had just come back from the pool and I had forgotten an extra pair of underwear, so I just put my shorts on. Later, during an assembly, this boy I had a crush on pulled my pants down and I had nothing on underneath. I was so mortified, I ran back to the pool and stayed there all day."
Pink to Teen People on her most embarrassing moment.


Girl, the point is everyone feels like an outcast, or is shy, or gets totally abused by the peeps they go to school with. The trick is not to let it get to you. Even better, turn your negative feelings into your strength. Make them the engine that drives you forward to success. You are as great as you wanna be, so go for it! As for your friends... I'd chill on that front. Don't spend too much time with peeps who wanna knock you down.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 31 Comments

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    I like this girl that used to be in my class. Every time I'm around her she is mean or she makes ...
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    What Do U Do About Mean Friends?

    • I ignore 'em and find new pals to chill with.
    • I cry. A lot.
    • I am just as mean to them as they are to me.
    • I try to find out why they're buggin' and work it out.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Abbergrl
    Haha, thank you. I don't want to date, it's just that these stupid crushes :/
    reply about 4 hours
    SimplyAda
    I can relate very much.  :e  It happens a lot. But here's one thing, try not to date. At my middle school, everyone literally dates everybody and relationships never last. Part of the reason is that most of us aren't in that mature phase yet (mostly boys). As the days go by, we're growing. But, it's completely normal to have a crush on a boy. :) :thumbsup
    reply about 4 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Sorry for the late reply, but I'd love to help. If they don't want to talk to you, or don't like your jokes, don't talk to them. They probably don't like you, so you shouldn't try to make it better. You should hang out with your other friends. They'll make you feel better about yourself. If you don't have any friends in your class...that's the problem.  That's exactly what happened to me last year. But I started hanging out with the guys more, and they were really nice and had a lot in common with me. Maybe the guys will be nice to you and accept you. I hope I helped you. :)   
    reply about 11 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Aw, that's sad. I know this is a late review, but I would love to help you make new friends. There are kids that do nasty things at every single school, trust me, you'll never find a perfect school, and if people are reporting this form of bullying, teachers are probably supervising children more, so don't worry about that. :) Now making new friends, ahh, that's very difficult. I can be shy myself, but it honestly depends. What I usually do is observe different groups of people, and see how they interact with each other. If the person seems nice, wait until the time is appropriate and greet them. A friendly "Hi, I'm new, could you maybe show me around, or help me with this, or tell me about this school?" That will start off a conversation. :)  As well, I tend to make jokes, or go to my funny side. I usually make way more friends that way. You could try to make slight jokes, and gradually make them less implied and more clear as you joke around.  If there are any other new kids, or shy kids, definitely talk to them. If there are any kids that look lonely, or sad, maybe take some time to approach them. If they look like the want to be left alone, leave them alone. If you're not sure, it's best if you see someone else interact with them first.  If you're bisexual, that doesn't really matter, and don't bring that fact up in a conversation. That's kind of personal, and when you get a little closer, you can say that. It's not really important, and necessary for people to know that. And it's personal too. So don't bring that up unless you really want to.  I hope i helped you! Sorry for the late advice. >_< 
    reply about 11 hours
    SmartSunnyShadow
    Several people are having the same problem as you. Whether they're the same gender or not, many people crush on some of their closest friends. So don't feel alone, remember that. I know this is some late advice, but I hope so far things are going good. Many people are feeling the urge of confessing like you. Yes, I think you should confess to her clearly, but when the time is right. She may not like you, but if you really really like her, you should absolutely confess to her. But be aware that confessing to one of your friends can ruin your friendship. You have to be cautious, confess when the time is right. 5 months may be long for you, but honestly, that's a short-term crush. Don't rush your confession, and don't give up unless you think you should. Getting over someone can be incredibly hard too, but you're either going to get over her, or confess to her. When the time is right, confess. When the time never seems to come, I'm sorry, but unfortunately, I think it's best if you get over her, because you have to be 100% sure before you confess to someone. You're risking your friendship to, so think if it's really worth it.  I hope I helped you. :) 
    reply about 11 hours