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Dear Dish-It, My Friends Are Mean

Dear Dish-It,

Last year, sometime, I found out that this guy was my cousin, and he's like really popular with all the girls in our class... he is a really distant cousin. He is my step, step, cousin, so it doesn't really mean we're cousins at all. Only the smallest bit. Now, I have never had a crush or anything on him, and I have a boyfriend, and we've been together for three months, but I just started to realize at camp (just a little while ago,) that I do have strong feelings for him... my cousin I mean. If I tell him, I think he'll start acting funny and reject me, but if I don't, I'll never know what he'll say. I don't wanna hurt my boyfriend either. What should I do? Please help!
skate


Dear skate,

Leave it alone girl. Just leave it alone. You got a hottie to keep you company. A hottie you like and don't wanna hurt. That's all I need to know. Never mind 'bout how your cousin will act if he finds out you've been thinkin' of him. You will hurt your boy if he finds out. And it's kinda dissing him if you start makin' like you've gotta thing for another. The answer, girl, is do not tell your cuz anything. You never know what could happen in the future. If it's meant to be, it will be.


Dear Dish-It,

(Click here to read LILBABYT's Dear Dish-It question.) I think you should ask Anthony if he likes you or his x. Then you should know what to do.
kz2kool


Dear kzkool,

Nice advice girl. The straight up approach is always good.


Dear Dish-It,

(Click here to read Anonymous's Dear Dish-It question.) Anonymous, are you serious? How old are you? Gosh, this is just my opinion, but that is as stupid as heck! Aren't you afraid of what it is gonna do to your rep and everything else? Anything like that can screw up your life in an instant!
RoxyGirl77077


Dear RoxyGirl77077,

Truth girl. You called it right!


Dear Dish-It,

My friends are sometimes mean to me. When I stand up for myself they (she) makes up a mean joke and then all my friends laugh. I can't do anything about this. Please don't put my e-mail on this or else, they will know and then get mad at me. I can't just stop being friends with them. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. I've been friends with them a long time and they were always a little mean, but it just keeps getting worse. Please, help me. I don't know what to do. You don't understand - I can't even say how bad it sometimes gets. They're funny and fun, but something always happens when I'm with them that makes me feel like crap. I'm going CRAZY.


Like, for instance, when I'm standing up for myself, she says that I'm on my period and the other two laugh. I need help. You probably don't care much for my situation. I'd be surprised if you have even read this far. If you have, thank you. You are the only person I have to talk to. And I don't think you care, but I'd just like to let you know that it makes me feel better just letting out all my pain... even if no one is listening. My parents aren't divorced or anything like that. I actually have a pretty good life, but I'm going to high school in 2 years and I'm scared. I think the high school I'm going to go to is pretty good... but I'm scared of new surroundings and new people and new teachers and everything. In away, I think it will be a good turning point in my life. I can start off brand new. I'm writing a really long e-mail, but I have so much to say. You don't have to answer me back, just the fact that I let that all out is good enough. Thanx. Your a giant help. It's 11:51, so I'll say good bye, good luck and good night.
Friend


Dear Friend,

Wow! You've gotta lot of feelings swirlin' around inside of ya. I'm glad you wrote to me, cuz believe it or not, I felt like that too. What's amazing is that the peeps around you probably have no idea about how stressed you are. It sounds like you're pretty sensitive and there's nuttin' wrong with that. Think 'bout all the cool things sensitive peeps grow up to do. They become artists, writers, musicians, doctors, psychologists and much more. Not only do they do totally cool things but they're totally cool peeps too. Did you know some of the most successful, cool and famous people felt exactly like you when they were in school. Check out these quotes:


"I was so happy and sunny at school that the other kids just hated me. I had to hide in the teacher's parking lot once because this huge group of girls wanted to beat me up - just for being so happy."
Brandy, to Jumpmagazine.


"Growing up, all the other girls at school were taking dance. They thought it was weird that I was into archery. But I didn't worry about what they thought. I went for what's important to me."
Karen Scavotto, to YM magazine. Karen was the youngest member of the US Olympic archery team at the Sydney games.


"Puberty was definitely awkward for me. I grew up in Oklahoma and I think I weighed a whopping 85 pounds in eighth grade. And in Oklahoma, if you don't play sports, they basically throw you in the trash."
James Marsden, (X-Men leader Cyclops,) on feeling like an outcast.


"When I was 8 years old, I went to camp. We had just come back from the pool and I had forgotten an extra pair of underwear, so I just put my shorts on. Later, during an assembly, this boy I had a crush on pulled my pants down and I had nothing on underneath. I was so mortified, I ran back to the pool and stayed there all day."
Pink to Teen People on her most embarrassing moment.


Girl, the point is everyone feels like an outcast, or is shy, or gets totally abused by the peeps they go to school with. The trick is not to let it get to you. Even better, turn your negative feelings into your strength. Make them the engine that drives you forward to success. You are as great as you wanna be, so go for it! As for your friends... I'd chill on that front. Don't spend too much time with peeps who wanna knock you down.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 31 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Family Issues:
    You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
    reply about 3 hours
    Mrawsomegamer
    I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
    reply about 3 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    If you don't think that you'll be in a safe situation (for example, your parents try to kick you out, or hurt you physically or emotionally) than you should definitely wait to tell them. I think you'll know when the time is right. We can't tell you how they'll react, but I bet you can sort of figure it out from how they feel and act about these topics.  Remember, you are not obligated to tell anybody at all. It's personal. Wait until you're for sure ready to tell them. And when you do, tell them the way in which it's easiest. Get your point across, offer resources, reassurance, and give them time. 
    reply about 3 hours
    Mrawsomegamer
    Hey guys, so I do kinda have a personal issue, but I need to tell my family about it. Truth is, I'm not even sure how they'll even react. Very few of my friends know, only the ones I trust anyway... I'm gay. Or at least bisexual. I kinda had a thing for girls, but that was a long time ago. I think I'm fully gay. I have a very supportive boyfriend, who loves me with all his heart. But that's not what it's about; it's actually coming out to my family, whom I know some of them are quite homophobic. Homophobia runs in my family. Sorta...  It makes my stomach turn when I think about it. I sometimes look into the mirror, look at myself and think if my conscience suddenly made me decide I was gay, or if I was born with it. Science tells us that we are born that way, due to lack of man chemicals entering a boys brain when in development. I feel like I've chosen it (even though I know deep inside I haven't) to be gay, probably because of my family almost forcing me into getting a girlfriend and such. I come from a Catholic family, to make things even worse. I'm like the only practising person in my family, but somehow I feel that they'll use my Faith against me if I come out.  So, should I just wait until I'm older? How do I know when the time is right? How will they even react? How should I even say it?  Please help!
    reply about 4 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
    reply about 5 hours

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