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Dear Dish-It: My Dad Doesn't Know I'm Dating

Dear Dish-It,

My friend told me that my boyfriend told her that he’s in love with me. I’m only in Grade 6 and I can’t tell my dad because he’d freak out if he even knew we were dating! Besides, I don’t even know if what she said is true. What do I do?

Lovergirl813


Dear LG813,

If you want to really find out whether or not your boyfriend loves you (or whether or not he even told your friend he loves you in the first place), the best thing to do is to talk to him. If he is someone you feel comfortable enough dating then he is probably also someone you should feel comfortable enough to discuss your feelings with. Going through third parties is never a good idea – it’s like that game kids play called broken telephone. The message can start off one way and, by the time it reaches the last person to hear it, it could have completely changed to mean something else entirely.


The second part of your problem has to do with your dad and the fact that he doesn’t even know that you’re dating anyone. In this case you have two options: you can keep on “lying” to him (not saying anything is considered lying by some people but others will tell you if your dad doesn’t ask you any questions directly then not telling him what’s going on isn’t really lying) or, if it’s something that’s really weighing on your mind or making you feel guilty you can decide to tell your dad the truth about your dating life./p>

So really, it seems like both the problems you described in your letter are actually the same. And I think what you need to do in the long-term is to start actually talking to people directly and truthfully, rather than getting your information from third-party sources or sneaking around and lying to people who are important to you and care about your safety and wellbeing. Learning how to do these things is an important part of growing up.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


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What Does Your Dad Do For a Living?

  • He works in an office.
  • He's a tradesman - he's a real handy guy.
  • He's a con artist.
  • Who cares?

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Clarkguild
Dear Dish-it, Sorry to be a burden, but I need some advice. About a year ago, I decided I didn't want to live with my mom and decided to move in with my dad. After my mom found out, she told me "You are no longer my child, go drop dead and rot in hell for all I care." My siblings, especially my twin, began to threaten me and my father's lives if we were to ever step foot near them again. A year later, my dad and I get in massive fights about everything I do wrong and he never seems to try and see my point of view. He often gets ##### and compares me to my mother and his previous exes. I feel lost on what to do. I feel so alone and so...hurt. Do you have any advice? I know it's pathetic of me to rant on here, but I'm clueless and on the verge of snapping.
reply 2 days
heckinmemes
have you tried punching her and your dad
reply 2 days
LUCYQWERTY123
hey there!! well i suggest u to answer back cause i think he missed u cause he hasnt see u for a year and i know he is estranged but if u answer back maybe he wont be strange so yeah :D :D :D
reply 8 days
MysticalC
My dad and I are kind of estranged, we haven't spoken in a year. So my mom decides it would be a good idea to let him message me. He texted me while I was at school and now I have no idea what to do. All he said was 'Hi _, how is school?'. Do I reply? Do I not? If I do, what do I say? My mom and grandparents are no help, they just cracked jokes about it. KidzWorld has helped me with a hell lot of things, I better not be let down this time.
reply 8 days
jordand08
Just act like you were introducing him as one of your friends. Be yourself, wear stuff that’s comfortable. It’s okay to be nervous because everyone will be. Just hang out and have fun.
reply 9 days