Dear Dish-It: My Dad Doesn't Know I'm Dating

Talking To Your Dad

Dear Dish-It,

My friend told me that my boyfriend told her that he’s in love with me. I’m only in Grade 6 and I can’t tell my dad because he’d freak out if he even knew we were dating! Besides, I don’t even know if what she said is true. What do I do?

Lovergirl813

Dear LG813,

If you want to really find out whether or not your boyfriend loves you (or whether or not he even told your friend he loves you in the first place), the best thing to do is to talk to him. If he is someone you feel comfortable enough dating then he is probably also someone you should feel comfortable enough to discuss your feelings with. Going through third parties is never a good idea – it’s like that game kids play called broken telephone. The message can start off one way and, by the time it reaches the last person to hear it, it could have completely changed to mean something else entirely.

The second part of your problem has to do with your dad and the fact that he doesn’t even know that you’re dating anyone. In this case you have two options: you can keep on “lying” to him (not saying anything is considered lying by some people but others will tell you if your dad doesn’t ask you any questions directly then not telling him what’s going on isn’t really lying) or, if it’s something that’s really weighing on your mind or making you feel guilty you can decide to tell your dad the truth about your dating life./p>

So really, it seems like both the problems you described in your letter are actually the same. And I think what you need to do in the long-term is to start actually talking to people directly and truthfully, rather than getting your information from third-party sources or sneaking around and lying to people who are important to you and care about your safety and wellbeing. Learning how to do these things is an important part of growing up.

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