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Dear Dish-It: My Dad Doesn't Know I'm Dating

Talking To Your Dad
Talking To Your Dad

Dear Dish-It,

My friend told me that my boyfriend told her that he’s in love with me. I’m only in Grade 6 and I can’t tell my dad because he’d freak out if he even knew we were dating! Besides, I don’t even know if what she said is true. What do I do?

Lovergirl813


Dear LG813,

If you want to really find out whether or not your boyfriend loves you (or whether or not he even told your friend he loves you in the first place), the best thing to do is to talk to him. If he is someone you feel comfortable enough dating then he is probably also someone you should feel comfortable enough to discuss your feelings with. Going through third parties is never a good idea – it’s like that game kids play called broken telephone. The message can start off one way and, by the time it reaches the last person to hear it, it could have completely changed to mean something else entirely.


The second part of your problem has to do with your dad and the fact that he doesn’t even know that you’re dating anyone. In this case you have two options: you can keep on “lying” to him (not saying anything is considered lying by some people but others will tell you if your dad doesn’t ask you any questions directly then not telling him what’s going on isn’t really lying) or, if it’s something that’s really weighing on your mind or making you feel guilty you can decide to tell your dad the truth about your dating life./p>

So really, it seems like both the problems you described in your letter are actually the same. And I think what you need to do in the long-term is to start actually talking to people directly and truthfully, rather than getting your information from third-party sources or sneaking around and lying to people who are important to you and care about your safety and wellbeing. Learning how to do these things is an important part of growing up.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


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Dear Dish-It in the forums

CarnivalDay
"Kirsteeeeen" wrote:I think you should go. It might be difficult but you never know. You might find something to talk about with his fiance and find a way to talk to her! Or you could be more social with other family. The only way to beat being unsocial in big groups is to put yourself into the situation and learn. You could actually have a great time :)Just relax, be yourself. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves so ask lots. It'll keep conversation going and you'll learn about possible later conversation topics. Also smile and be friendly. Make small talk. Remember you're there to celebrate a happy time in someone's life. You might not like it but it's their big day, one of the biggest in their life. And your dad and sister are going so you could always stick around them if socializing doesn't work. Sorry for late reply! ^-^ Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. Problem is, only my sister has anything to wear and my dad is fretting over something that will match, but I think that was just sorted out. I'm picky over what to wear and I'm not aloud to wear boots or leggings, which I practically live in. Though I'm probably only going to stay for a few hours since the dog's not able to go to the kennel right now. 
reply about 1 hour
GirLovesPiggy
GirLovesPiggy posted in Friends:
This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
reply about 7 hours
AlphaT
AlphaT posted in Style:
Wear bigger clothes. Heck, I wear a 2-3 X
reply about 17 hours
DisneyanimeLover
"ThunderSpirit" wrote:Wow. We have more in common than I thought.I had the same problem [except she was a little less mean] and this is the advice I was given. Don't exactly go up to her and say, "I don't wanna be friends," because although she is mean, she still might be hurt. Just don't really make it official, but slowly drift apart from her. Try to meet new people, maybe there's someone great you just haven't met yet. And maybe she's having problems of her own, not like that's an excuse. But in the end, if she does apologize to you, she might be a friend worth keeping, but those insults were pretty serious, not something best friends would do, and you probably wouldn't forgive her. I get that. Thanks for the good advice! I don`t see her often so drifting away is the smartest idea. Although I see her at family parties and stuff cause she is a family friend. I`ll try and drift away from her. If she gets better at being kind I`ll be her friend again most likely. Thanks! 
reply about 20 hours
ThunderSpirit
ThunderSpirit posted in Friends:
Wow. We have more in common than I thought. I had the same problem [except she was a little less mean] and this is the advice I was given. Don't exactly go up to her and say, "I don't wanna be friends," because although she is mean, she still might be hurt. Just don't really make it official, but slowly drift apart from her. Try to meet new people, maybe there's someone great you just haven't met yet. And maybe she's having problems of her own, not like that's an excuse. But in the end, if she does apologize to you, she might be a friend worth keeping, but those insults were pretty serious, not something best friends would do, and you probably wouldn't forgive her. I get that.
reply about 20 hours

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