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Dear Dish-It: How Can I Stop Being So Shy?

Dear Dish-It,

What can I do to help myself not be so shy in school?

peaches543


Dear p543,


Lots of kids and adults are shy. Shyness means to feel a little scared when you're around other people. Just about everybody feels shy sometimes. If you're the new kid in class or your great-aunt wants to give you a big hug, it can make you feel shy.


Nobody sits around and says, "Well, I think I'll be shy today." It is just something that happens. It can just sneak up on you. You might feel fine practicing your soccer kicks, but you feel nervous when the coach comes over to give you a few pointers.


But being shy isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's OK if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situations. In fact, it can even be helpful to be a little shy. When you're shy, you may spend a little extra time observing the scene before jumping right into it. And you're unlikely to talk to strangers, which you shouldn't do anyway!


Some kids are born shy and more sensitive. Sometimes even babies act shy. Have you ever seen a baby hide his or her face from a stranger? On the other hand, another baby might kick, smile, and wave at everyone, even strangers.


But if you weren't shy as a little kid, it's still possible to be a shy person. You might have learned to be shy because of experiences you've had at school or home. And sometimes you only feel shy for a short while, like the first time you get on a new school bus. This type of shyness often goes away after you get adjusted. For instance, after a few days, you'll probably have a seat you like to sit in and you'll get to know friends on the bus.


Sometimes, people become so shy they are afraid to do simple things in life. For example, they won't go to a restaurant because they are too nervous to order and pay for their food. Some people are so shy about meeting new people that they rarely go outside. Doctors and psychologists often can help the person work through this kind of shyness.


If your shyness is keeping you from doing stuff you want to do, talk to someone about it. Parents, teachers, counselors, and doctors are all good people to turn to. Talking about your shyness may help you get over it. Or your friends or parents may tell you that they, too, have the same shy feelings and what they do to feel less shy. If you still feel really shy, your mom or dad might take you to see a psychologist. He or she can help you figure out how to feel more at ease around people.


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    AnnaOfExquizurd
    Okay, @Abbergrl I'm glad I could help! :D
    reply about 5 hours
    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Friends:
    Thanks @AnnaOfExquizurd that may be very useful to me. And it sounds cool too! :D I thought about just thinking about the positives but didn't really work. I'll try this too!
    reply about 5 hours
    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Friends:
    "Kawaiiqueen389" wrote:My bff is being taken away from me by another girl in our year who is mean to me ...  I really miss her .. What shall I do? That's terrible and has happened and will probably happen with me again. I think you should try being nice to that mean girl even though you don't really like her. If she makes a joke about you just try to laugh at it, don't be hurt by it or make a mean comment back. :)
    reply about 5 hours
    country_girl19
    If you really want to get rid of the romantic feelings for him, just try picturing a future with him, and also asking these questions in your head, "Is he a good guy?" "Would we last?" But maybe he's acting awkward around you, because your friend asked him to Prom, but he might rather go with you, but doesn't know how to say anything about the situation. I would suggest talking to him about it, and if he is a jerk about it, don't bother. But talk to him first, and if he has the same feelings, then talk to your friend about it. I just want to warn you, that if you do this, you and others could get their feelings hurt. Crushes are a risky, scary thing in high school. Anyway, that's what I think you should do. If you don't want to do that, then follow what your intuition tells you.
    reply about 5 hours
    Lotushorn15
    I had a crush on this new guy, and it's really the first crush I had in a long time. But, he is so amazing that everyone else seems to have a crush on him too. In my family, I can't date until I'm 16 anyway. But my best friend just asked him out to prom. I realized that she likes him a lot and tried to let go of my feelings for him. I am not angry with her at all, if she wants to date him, great. But, it's been hard to let go of my feelings completely. I'm convinced though I just want to be his friend. However, I think he knows I used to have a crush on him, and he acts a little awkward around me, but I don't want to feel that way for him anymore. How can I get rid of my romantic feelings for him (should I? It's being the bigger person) and gain his friendship/lose the awkwardness?
    reply about 6 hours