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Dear Dish-It: How Can I Stop Being So Shy?

Dear Dish-It,

What can I do to help myself not be so shy in school?

peaches543


Dear p543,


Lots of kids and adults are shy. Shyness means to feel a little scared when you're around other people. Just about everybody feels shy sometimes. If you're the new kid in class or your great-aunt wants to give you a big hug, it can make you feel shy.


Nobody sits around and says, "Well, I think I'll be shy today." It is just something that happens. It can just sneak up on you. You might feel fine practicing your soccer kicks, but you feel nervous when the coach comes over to give you a few pointers.


But being shy isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's OK if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situations. In fact, it can even be helpful to be a little shy. When you're shy, you may spend a little extra time observing the scene before jumping right into it. And you're unlikely to talk to strangers, which you shouldn't do anyway!


Some kids are born shy and more sensitive. Sometimes even babies act shy. Have you ever seen a baby hide his or her face from a stranger? On the other hand, another baby might kick, smile, and wave at everyone, even strangers.


But if you weren't shy as a little kid, it's still possible to be a shy person. You might have learned to be shy because of experiences you've had at school or home. And sometimes you only feel shy for a short while, like the first time you get on a new school bus. This type of shyness often goes away after you get adjusted. For instance, after a few days, you'll probably have a seat you like to sit in and you'll get to know friends on the bus.


Sometimes, people become so shy they are afraid to do simple things in life. For example, they won't go to a restaurant because they are too nervous to order and pay for their food. Some people are so shy about meeting new people that they rarely go outside. Doctors and psychologists often can help the person work through this kind of shyness.


If your shyness is keeping you from doing stuff you want to do, talk to someone about it. Parents, teachers, counselors, and doctors are all good people to turn to. Talking about your shyness may help you get over it. Or your friends or parents may tell you that they, too, have the same shy feelings and what they do to feel less shy. If you still feel really shy, your mom or dad might take you to see a psychologist. He or she can help you figure out how to feel more at ease around people.


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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    Is there a particular reason or situation causing you to feel this way? I can't provide much advice other than talk to them about it. Communication is important.
    reply about 6 hours
    Arenl
    Arenl posted in Friends:
    He is a jerk, but then what ?? He is your best friend . Maybe you should tell him to sleep for an extra hour. It may be a lack of sleep.
    reply about 9 hours
    KittyCheshire
    KittyCheshire posted in Friends:
    My BFFEL (best friend for eternal life) is being a jerk after we have been friends for a long time. What should I do?
    reply about 9 hours
    PittsburghPenguinsFanatic
    "aftershock" wrote: "NicolletteA" wrote: no. and you sound like the marketing people that stop me at the mall.  :/ lol, I'm not, i just kno someone whos making a new app and wanted to see if any1 would use it.   BTW what do u say to the marketing people at the mall? No. I don't like those people at the mall. Sometimes, they ask my family and I (usually directed at my mom and sister, but sometimes at me, too. Even though I'm under 13. Not for long though.) if they want their hair done. And sometimes I'm so tempted to say, "No thank you. I did my hair today. Do you think I want it done?" But of course I never do. It's kinda disrespectful. So we just usually say No thank you. My mom, sister, and I now have a solution for that (my idea when I was maybe ages 9-11) Don't make eye contact with them and pretend that they aren't there.
    reply about 22 hours
    BookWorm86
    This is GREAT advice! Thx a lot StephRox!:) I have a younger brother & he can be EXASPERATING at times lol! Great advice!!:D
    reply about 23 hours