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Dear Dish-It : Top 10 :: Making Friends

One of the top 10 questions to Dear Dish-It is: How Do I Make New Friends? Whether you’re going to a new school, moving to a new neighborhood or just looking to bust out of your current social circle, meeting people and making friends can be awkward and challenging. But it’s not impossible (nothing is). Try a few of these tips and you’ll be on your way to Friends Central in no time!

Listen & Ask Questions

Other people like to know they're being heard and their ideas are appreciated. By being a good listener you let others know you value what they have to say and you also value who they are. You can let others know you're paying attention by making eye contact while they're speaking, then asking a question or two about what they're saying. If the conversation goes well, ask the person for his or her phone number or e-mail, then make plans to hang out.

Give A Compliment

Everyone loves an ego boost. Noticing something you like about someone and sharing it with him or her is a great way to make a connection and start a conversation. When giving a compliment, be honest and genuine. Even if you're complimenting something very small, like the color of the person's shoes, they’ll probably appreciate it. You might even receive a compliment in return!

Detach From Technology

You're less likely to notice who's interested in you if you're constantly checking your e-mail, voicemail and text messages. Being online or on the phone also sends the message to others that you're unavailable. Put away your cell phone from time to time and take a look around. Who seems funny or interesting? Which people in the room have you never talked to? Who pays attention to your ideas? Make a mental note and spend a little time getting to know these people face-to-face.

Join A Club Or Team

Having an interest in common with another person gives both of you something to talk about, whether it’s reading, rugby or rock 'n' roll. So go ahead and pursue your interest with other people – it’s fun and gives you a sense of meaning and belonging. Clubs, teams and other groups also work toward common goals, which is inspiring, teach you how to solve problems and help you bond with others. Check out the clubs and activities at your school or church, your local community center, YMCA or the parks and recreation department. Form a band or a book club, or start an interest group online. You'll have a circle of friends before you know it.

Volunteer

Volunteering is a great way to meet others, build community and work toward common goals. You can volunteer in your school, community or church. Many kids volunteer to clean up parks, tutor younger students or help at food pantries, animal shelters or hospitals. Nonprofit organizations always need volunteers. Chances are you'll find other kids your age volunteering their time, too.

Get A Job

Getting a part-time job at a place where other kids your age work is another way to meet people and work toward common goals. Even if those goals involve folding sweaters or cleaning toilets, you'll have something to complain about – and bond over – with others.

Form A Study Group

Does your math teacher give super-hard exams? Is your history teacher always popping quizzes? Round up a few others from your class to study together each week. Ask your teacher if you could pass around a sign-up sheet or make an announcement about the group after class. When your group gets together, share notes and chat about class. Find out what your classmates like about the teacher and what they can't stand. Make flash cards together or quiz one another. Bring snacks and share what's going on in your life. You'll have new friends before you know it.

Laugh

Letting others know that you think they're funny makes them feel good and shows them you're interested in what they think. It also shows you have a good sense of humor, which is one of the top things teens look for in a friend.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

lelnah
lelnah posted in Friends:
"Tldc_Julisha" wrote:I'm in the popular group but im trying to figure out if maybe its time to stop being in the popular group or notI like being in the group but at the same time I don't because-The other girls in the popular group are kind mean to othersThey make fun of people who don't wear what we wearThey push/shove people into lockersIs it time to leave the popular group or should I stay there??? Of course not! What kinds of people just go through their everyday lives shoving good kids into hard metal lockers? It's not right. I would never associate myself with a group like that. What kind of popular is that, shoving kids into lockers?  
reply about 8 hours
Hannah728
Hannah728 posted in Friends:
Ok i have the same problem with every guy! I have a crush on the cutest guy and i think somebody else likes him! And i mean like for sure think that they like him!
reply about 11 hours
classicalmusicisepic
"shae508" wrote: "classicalmusicisepic" wrote: my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them. these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc. physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on. pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too. control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!   criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them.  other signs, include: -being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored, -you're afraid of your partner -they obsess over and call/text you constantly -you may find you've lost your confidence -many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster -you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc. -something tells you you cant trust them again, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there. that's a good point. 
reply about 12 hours
shae508
shae508 posted in Friends:
"classicalmusicisepic" wrote:my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them.these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc.physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on.pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too.control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!  criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them. other signs, include:-being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored,-you're afraid of your partner-they obsess over and call/text you constantly-you may find you've lost your confidence-many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster-you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc.-something tells you you cant trust themagain, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there.
reply about 14 hours
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Friends:
No problem!
reply about 14 hours

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