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Dear Dish-It: Is It Time To Move On?

Dear Dish-It,

I have a huge crush on someone. Even though he told me he doesn’t like me I still feel like he does. But now he has a girlfriend and I’m starting to think he doesn’t like me after all. Should I stop liking him or not?

Datless


Dear Datless,

Finding out your crush doesn’t feel the same way about you can be just as tough and painful as a real breakup. It’s definitely time to move on but the question is, how do you get over your heartbreak?


The feeling you have when you feel heartbreak is a feeling of loss. The feeling of loss is very real – whether it’s over something you really had and lost or something you only hoped would happen but never did. Almost everyone experiences heartbreak at some point and describe it as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness and sadness. Now that it’s time for you to move on from your old crush, you may experience some or all of these feelings. The good news is, there are things you can do to lessen the pain.


Share your feelings. Telling someone you trust or someone who has been through what you’re going through can help you feel better. Even having a good cry on the shoulder of a comforting friend or family member can help you deal with any sad or painful feelings you may have. If talking about your feelings isn’t really your thing, try hanging out and doing all the things you normally enjoy, like seeing a movie or going to a concert – this could take your mind off feeling sad.


Remember what's good about you. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. If you find this happening to you, remind yourself of your good qualities; and if you can't think of them because your heartache is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you.


Take good care of yourself and stay busy. A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken too. Get lots of sleep, eat well and exercise to give your self-esteem a boost. Keeping busy also helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened, it just means you should focus on other things too.


Give yourself time. Remember, it takes time for sadness to go away. Heartbreak almost always heals after a while. How long that will take depends on what caused your heartbreak, how you deal with loss and how quickly you bounce back from things.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Advice:

  • How Do I Deal With My Breakup?
  • How To Break Up
  • My Parents Made Us Break Up
  • Don’t Tell Us To Break Up
  • 17 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    hugebear
    hugebear posted in Family Issues:
    You doesnt have to come out to your family until your ready and until they is ready too.  If you blurt it out it could be the shock.  You says that you think your Mums side of the family will be more supportive.  Has you got an Aunty or Uncle what you could discuss this with?  An adult member of your family what is most likely supportive  could probably give the best advises on how to tell your family and when and how and prepares you for how they will react. Good luck mate and takes your time :angel
    reply about 3 hours
    Mrawsomegamer
    I think my mothers side of the family would be fine with it. It's my dad's side I'm most concerned about. My dad says some dreadfully terrible remarks about homosexual people. I think I'm not gunna tell him at all. Ever...  Either way. Thanks for the advice!
    reply about 3 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    If you don't think that you'll be in a safe situation (for example, your parents try to kick you out, or hurt you physically or emotionally) than you should definitely wait to tell them. I think you'll know when the time is right. We can't tell you how they'll react, but I bet you can sort of figure it out from how they feel and act about these topics.  Remember, you are not obligated to tell anybody at all. It's personal. Wait until you're for sure ready to tell them. And when you do, tell them the way in which it's easiest. Get your point across, offer resources, reassurance, and give them time. 
    reply about 3 hours
    Mrawsomegamer
    Hey guys, so I do kinda have a personal issue, but I need to tell my family about it. Truth is, I'm not even sure how they'll even react. Very few of my friends know, only the ones I trust anyway... I'm gay. Or at least bisexual. I kinda had a thing for girls, but that was a long time ago. I think I'm fully gay. I have a very supportive boyfriend, who loves me with all his heart. But that's not what it's about; it's actually coming out to my family, whom I know some of them are quite homophobic. Homophobia runs in my family. Sorta...  It makes my stomach turn when I think about it. I sometimes look into the mirror, look at myself and think if my conscience suddenly made me decide I was gay, or if I was born with it. Science tells us that we are born that way, due to lack of man chemicals entering a boys brain when in development. I feel like I've chosen it (even though I know deep inside I haven't) to be gay, probably because of my family almost forcing me into getting a girlfriend and such. I come from a Catholic family, to make things even worse. I'm like the only practising person in my family, but somehow I feel that they'll use my Faith against me if I come out.  So, should I just wait until I'm older? How do I know when the time is right? How will they even react? How should I even say it?  Please help!
    reply about 4 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
    This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
    reply about 5 hours

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