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Dear Dish-It, My Parents Made Us Break Up

Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".

Dear Dish-It,

Last year me and my BF had to break up cuz of letters my sister found that me and my BF wrote to each other. It's been a year now and I still can't stop thinking about him! We saw each other behind our parents' backs and then they found out and we lost their trust. Now I've got my 'rents trust back cuz he moved away. I talk bad about him around my Mom and Dad, but in my heart I love him. What can I do?
Babybluez


Dear Babybluez,

This is not lookin' good for you. You kinda handled the whole thing the wrong way, it seems. Well, here's what you gotta do: keep on crushin' on the ex, but try to move on at the same time. I have no idea what you two were writin' in those letters that your sis found but it musta been some big No-No for your 'rents to react so harshly. You've already lost their trust once, no need to up and do it again. Just keep your lingering feelings for this dude to yourself and move on. He's moved away, and it's probably for the best. Eventually you will get over him and one day you might even meet someone that your 'rents will approve of. But next time, axe the incriminating letter writing, k? Hang in there and good luck.


Dear Dish-It,

Well, to get to the point, I'm 12 and I'm going out with this 15 year-old guy. It feels like we're soulmates cuz we have A LOT in common. Well, I don't know how to tell my parents about it. I'm afraid they'll make us break up or something like that. What should I do?
Toxic_Dolphin69

Dear Toxic_Dolphin69,

That's a tough situation. If you think your parents will tell you to break up, then you probably know why they'll want you to do it too. Is it because they don't want you dating at 12? Is it because they'll object to the age difference? Before you tell your parents, think up some calm, rational responses to their potential concerns. If I were you, I'd also think up some compromises/solutions - like tell 'em, if they let you keep datin' him, you'll promise not to go out alone on dates with him, only group events. The solutions depend on your parents' issues, but you get the picture, right? The key here is to be calm and mature about this. No matter how rough this conversation may be, you gotta tell 'em. If they don't find out from you, but find out from the neighbor or some other random person, you'll not only lose your BF, you'll lose your parents' trust too.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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Would You Sneak Around?

  • Yeah, I date behind my parent's backs all the time!
  • I would never get involved with someone unless my parents were ok with it.
  • I don't date cuz my parents say I'm not old enough.
  • If I really liked someone, I would lie to my parents about seeing him/her.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

PuppyLover242
Hmm, okay! Its just that I Love all this new modern things, cute things, chibi stuff, anime pics... and no one else agrees with me? I am like the black sheep or something?
reply about 1 hour
Autonomy
Autonomy posted in Family Issues:
"StarrChild" wrote: Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting Oh dear, that sounds like a dreadful situation. I've lived through similar difficulties in my own life, and my heart goes out to you, truly. May I offer you some advice? I don't have the cure to your problems or a magic wand that can make them disappear, but I do believe that some good can come out of your living situation. The first thing I'd like to make note of, is that everyone makes mistakes. As human beings, we have to make mistakes. There's no way around it; it's how we learn and grow. And as we get older, we don't stop making mistakes. Your parents are no exception. Although we look to our parents for guidance, and direction, and support, we have to understand that they aren't perfect people, and they make mistakes. They may not always lead us in the right direction. They may not always set a good example. They may not always be there for us, to encourage us and support us when we need them most. And that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, and we have to accept that. But we can't let allow other people's mistakes to hurt us, my dear. And I know it hurts. Your mum might not understand how her actions make you feel. You said you haven't been the same since your parents divorced, and I know how challenging that can be to go through. But you know, some of the brightest, wisest, and happiest people I've met, are people who have dealt with difficult problems in their lives, and used them to grow as people. You can let your parents' mistakes get to you, and make you upset and depressed; or, you can accept that they aren't perfect people, accept that they make mistakes, and accept that their mistakes don't have anything to do with you. So here's what you do, friend: you can't stop your mum from going clubbing, and that's okay. Don't try to. Don't fight with her about it. You can let her know how it makes you feel, but don't get into an argument. Accept the situation for what it is. Your mother is her own person, and she is accountable for what she does; you aren't. Next time you start to get in a fight or an argument with her, just step back, and withdraw yourself. Try it, see what happens. Once you decide not to let other peoples' failings affect you--and you do have the power to do this--then you'll find a sense of peace you probably haven't felt before. And you'll learn from your mistakes, and the mistakes of your parents, and everyone around you, and you'll be a better person. Press on.
reply about 12 hours
Dounuts
Dounuts posted in Family Issues:
Go to your neighbor's house and ask him/her to call to police.Everything will be just fine.
reply about 18 hours
RavenClawRaina
my ex is going through the same thing. Call the police now. Things will get out of hand. My brothers friend has been living with us for about 2 weeks becuz his dad punched him in the face. Call 911 now. They will help you. Just say you have been abused by your family member and they will take it from there. If you want, add me and we can talk
reply about 19 hours
XxRuby_PhoenixxX
If you are getting abused to the point where you bleed, call the police immediately. This isn't acceptable behavior.
reply about 19 hours