Dear Dish-It: I Hate My Sister

Dear Dish-It,

What do you do if you hate your sister?


Dear ??????,

In a house with more than one kid, there are bound to be some problems. Brothers and sisters borrow stuff, and don't always return it in top condition. Younger kids sometimes feel like the older kids get to do whatever they want. Older brothers and sisters think that the baby of the family gets more attention. These are typical problems found throughout the ages, everywhere in the world.

When brothers and sisters don't get along, it's called sibling rivalry. A sibling is a brother or sister and rivalry means competition. It's normal, but too much competition can make for an unhappy home life. Let's talk about getting along with brothers and sisters. They're not so bad, are they?

What Is Sibling Rivalry?

A little competition isn't a bad thing. Sometimes it can keep you working hard — like when you and your brother spend time shooting hoops. If he's good at it, it may make you want to improve, too. But some sibling rivalry involves arguing, like when you think your brother is hogging the ball. People who love each other might argue sometimes, but too much fighting is unpleasant for everyone.

Have you ever heard of the green-eyed monster called jealousy? Sometimes brothers and sisters are jealous of one another. For instance, if your sister always does well at school, it may be frustrating for you, especially if your grades are lower.

Although you're probably proud of your sibling or siblings, it's normal to be a little jealous, too. It may make you feel better to focus more on doing your own personal best, rather than comparing yourself with a brother or sister.

All kids want attention from their parents, but sometimes you need to take turns. If you're feeling ignored or like your sibling is always in the spotlight, talk to your mom or dad. If a parent knows you're feeling left out, together you can figure out ways to help you feel better again.

Don't Lose Your Cool

Sometimes when you're jealous and frustrated, it's easy to lose your temper. Try to follow these tips to avoid getting into a fight with your brother or sister:

  • Take a deep breath and think a bit. Try to figure out if you are angry with the person or just frustrated with the situation.
  • Remind yourself that you have special talents. Your sister may have won an art contest, but you might be better at basketball, or math, or singing.
  • Try to congratulate your siblings on their achievements and share their happiness. If you do this for them, they'll be more likely to do it for you.

  • Hopefully, these tips will work. But if the situation gets out of control and you and your brother or sister start fighting a lot, you may need to talk to someone. Mean words can lead to hitting and physical fighting. If this is going on with you and your sibling, talk to a parent or another trusted adult.

    Future Friends

    It may be hard to believe now, but your brother or sisters may turn out to be your best friend someday. Many brothers and sisters fight and compete with each other while growing up but become very close when they get older. As you grow up, your friends might change, but your family is your family forever.

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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    My friend problem: Get ready 'cause this'll be long. Problem = ... Okay, so I know this girl, Amelia. Last year when I was new at school she invited me to sit with her and her friends on the second day. Since then, we've been 'best friends'. Throughout the whole of last year she was really great. Now, it's been a few weeks since the first day of school - 5th grade. On the first day she was really happy to see me and we did all that normal BFF stuff. We even traced one of each of our hands and wrote 'BFFs' at the top. It all started with this.                                                   HOW IT HAPPENED One day we were sitting in the cafeteria. Her: Hey, what should we do during recess today? Another Friend Who Doesn't Like Amelia: Hey, do you want to do ______________? Me: Ummmmmmmmmmmm ......... errrrrrrrr .............. Me: (Thinking of Plan) Me: Eureka! Me: Hey, Amelia, I have this idea. Since you don't like Belen .... (this is other friend's name)  and you don't like her, I was thinking: Maybe on Monday I could hang out with you and Tuesday with her ... etc. Her: Cool. Well ... okay. Note: Well, I was feeling pretty bad, because she'd been a really great friend, but then I thought: Hey, it's only one day! It's not like I told her "Hey, I'm going to ditch you!" So then I went off with Belen. Well, the next day, or maybe a few days later - I don't remember - she told me during recess again: Her: Hey, do you want to go hang out with them over there? Points Me: Sure ... why not? Then we went on over there. During the whole of that recess, she didn't pay much attention to me. That was when I got suspicious. Now, it's been, like, 4 weeks since the first day of school. I decided to hang out with Belen during recess on Friday. Tomorrow is Monday, btw. Belen: Are you going to hang out with me during recess today? Me: Yeah. I would've wanted to go off with Amelia, but she was blowing me off lately. Last year a lot of people weren't her friends and she wasn't that social. Now, I see her flirting with _ _ _ _ _ _ easily and everyone (even people who left her out of their groups last year) is crowding around her while she talks about her big party. Last time, she even asked me if I wanted to go away with Belen, because she wasn't there either. Maybe I'm overreacting and she's just getting to be friends with a lot more people. I dunno. Should I be happy for her? Like I said, Belen and Amelia kinda hate each other, which is pretty inconvenient because they're both my best friends. So, you know that 'big party' Amelia is hosting? Belen's not invited and I don't know about myself, either. During yet ANOTHER recess Belen was talking about planning her birthday party. Now it's October 4th and her birthday is actually on January 21. Weird. I think she means this as a revenge party, because she is NOT inviting Amelia. Am I overreacting and taking this too seriously? Maybe I'm not and Amelia really isn't a good friend. But if I go to Belen's party and have an awesome time, Amelia (if I was overreacting) would be really upset. Then she would ditch me - FOR REAL. If I AM invited to Amelia's party, then what if she started blowing me off there? I don't want to look like a pesky little 'friend', clinging onto her. I NEED HELP. P.S. I have another problem caused by the first problem. I am crushing really hard on My Crush. I'm sure boys like fun, bouncy, happy, perky girls. He usually sees me during recess, where Amelia is usually blowing me off. Then, I start acting really sluggish and moody. Basically downright not-in-the-fun-mood. What would he think? Thank you for your help. P.P.S. PLEASE DO help me. This is an emergency. Thank you very much for your help (if you do help, that is.)
    reply 17 minutes
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    Perfect Friend: Someone who will support you when you fail. Someone who encourages you. Someone who sticks with you. Someone who comforts you when things go wrong. Someone who is funny and makes you laugh. Someone who tells you the answers in class ... Someone who would wait for you after detention. Someone who would buy you great presents for your birthday. Someone who you know you can always count on. Someone nice (obvious). Someone who never fights with you. Someone who would always be a good friend, even if you weren't. Someone who is loyal. Someone who'd never go off with some other person. Someone who would read all this stuff without telling me they were bored.
    reply about 1 hour
    XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
    This thing happened in kindergarten ... too embarrassing to even talk about it now ... so bye.
    reply about 6 hours
    "CountessElectra" wrote:The loss of my grandad was horrible. I felt so sad at the time. I felt like i would never stop crying when my parents told me. It still makes me sad today... aww. i hope everything's okay :(
    reply about 7 hours
    "hugebear" wrote:This is the awesome thread and thank you for posting it manu [stickied] :) thank you huge :) 
    reply about 7 hours

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