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Dear Dish-It: I Want to Join the Military

Dear Dish-It,


I have been thinking. My brother is in AFJROTC, and I think I might want to join the military. I have also been thinking about being a cop when I grow up, but when I told my mom that she said that she didn't want me to be a cop and that I was too young to be thinking about jobs. I'm 12 years old! And based on the reaction to wanting to be a cop ... I'm afraid of how she would react to me maybe wanting to join the military. What do I do?


Afraid


Dear Afraid,


The good news, you ARE still young. While thinking about what you want to be when you grow up is totally fine, no matter what age you are, the fact that you're 12 means you still have plenty of time to make sure joining the army - or becoming a cop - is really the right choice for you. It also means there's lots of time to talk to your mom about your goals and dreams and, hopefully, gain her support.


In a few years, when you're old enough to really make your final decision, you'll have to to be ready with facts, reason and logic when it comes to letting your family know about it. You also need to be prepared to defend it, especially when you tell your mom. Here are some tips on how you might do that.


Be Calm

You need to be calm when you approach your mom to talk about your future with the army. Choose a time for the conversation when both of you are relaxed and in the mood to talk. Have your reasons ready and be prepared to explain them. Listen to what her concerns are and try to anticipate what they will be so that you have an answer ready.


Present the Facts

At this point you will have done your homework about the army. Whether it's from talking with an army recruiter or active military personnel, visiting the official army website or a combination of those sources, you know why you want to go. So confidently and carefully use the facts to explains the benefits of your joining the military. Some areas to mention might include discipline, training and education benefits. Discuss with your mom the specific job you plan to seek, the training it will require and probable duty stations.


Let the News Settle In

Remember that you have made the decision to join the army over a period of time. For your mom this is all new information and she was probably not expecting it. The conversation that you plan to have is most likely the first in a long series of similar discussions. Your mom may need some time to get used to the idea, think about the information that you have presented and decide how she feels about it.


Also, be ready to answer more questions. After the news has had time to sink in and your mom has thought about it more she is probably going to have some additional questions for you.


The Recruiter

One of your strongest allies for these talks will be the recruiter. The recruiter has a great deal of experience discussing the benefits of military service with the parents of the prospective recruits. Invite the recruiter to visit your mom or take her on a visit to the recruiting station. Army recruiters have been in the service for several years and are able to not only answer questions but they also lend an air of authority to the discussion. They will explain in civilian terms what your mom needs to know about your training, education and what to expect from your enlistment. The leadership skills and discipline that recruiter learned in the military will be clear to your mom and she will be able to see the type of person you are striving to become.


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astucieuse331
astucieuse331 posted in Friends:
I feel like that too! I know where you're coming from, but believe me, I've moved on. Those people? Bleh. Not worth my time, and certainly don't deserve me.  You described me exactly: good with people and friends, but don't have a best friend at all, and others really don't care whether I'm lonely or sad. Well, it might sound crazy, but guess what? I've found a friend in me instead of others. I've learned to accept that you can't please everyone, and that some of the fish in the sea aren't worth wasting your time on. So I've become independent, to learn to depend on myself more than to rely on others. Trust me, it works, and I think it'll work for you. But if you really need a friend, me and @alienincognito are here to talk to you if you need us! @alienincognito: LOL! DUDE! That's HOW I THINK! Whenever one of my friends talks behind my back or backstabs me, I'm like, "Ah, whatever, 'screw em, I'll let Karma take over! I ain't letting those negative peeps ruin my day." Maybe you, me, and hasti10 could start a group where we can talk to each other!  :) :D 8)
reply about 2 hours
astucieuse331
astucieuse331 posted in Friends:
I've always felt the same way. My one best friend gossiped behind my back, used me, all that girl stuff. She took me for advantage and we had a bunch of fights because of her finding a new friend and completely acting as if I didn't exist, and I told her to give me at least some attention every once in a while if she can't even continue to talk to me daily. And.. I lost her. Well, she lost me. We both lost each other. But then I realized.. it's the people that you least expect to be nice to you you'll find kindness in. Why? Based on personal experience, and I'll tell you the story: For my gym class, me and my peers were supposed to make a group for a dance. This was when my best friend had found a new friend already, and the time at which we had a few fights because of that. Of course, I relied on my best friend to count me in her dance group. At lunchtime, I sat together with my best friend, and we ate our lunches in silence. All of a sudden, I brought up the dance groups and asked her straightforwardly: "Can I join your group?" No reply. "Kelly, can I join your group?" No reply. "I mean, since our class is uneven, I found it fair that there'd be a group of five, you know?" None at all. Kelly ignored me straight off the bat, leaving me speechless. My mind raced with thoughts, and I thought, maybe it's not worth having Kelly as a friend. A few days later, we were playing Dodgeball for gym. I was on Kelly's team, and overheard her talking with her new friends about who to pick for the dance group. One of her friends mentioned me, and Kelly said: "Oh no, we shouldn't pick her because _____ (I don't know what she said then)." I was shocked, but was anticipating it, so when the time came to choose groups, I saw my friend, Luke, ask two girls, Cher and Bridgette, to join their group. Surprisingly, Cher and Bridgette actually accepted him, and so I thought, "Wow, if they accepted Luke, they might accept me aswell!" and so built up the courage to ask them if I could join. Even though Cher and Bridgette were mean to me sometimes, I knew that I had to risk it and see what'd happen. Afterall, rejection is just another opportunity to find a better group. Little did I know, it'd be the best choice of my life. They were so happy, and even thanked me for joining them! I was speechless once more; I never knew that the peers that I thought I would never be friends with would actually be my friends!  So yeah, that's what I learnt, and I never regretted learning that fact. Ever since then, though, I've learnt not to trust people as much as I used to anymore. I learnt that independency is what works for me, what I was meant for in terms of socializing or working. But, other things may work for you. If you still want a friend, you can be independent and wait for the right person. However, if you still want a real friend, you can wait, but still mingle (hang out) with other people! I I'm not going to make fun of you because I know how you've felt, just as I stated in my past problem before. But you can move on from those friends, they're not worth your time and certainly don't deserve you as a friend. Trust me, if it's meant to be, you'll definitely find a true friend. But if it's not, you may become like me, finding happiness in my own way. I want to remind you though-- you don't need someone to stay happy, or keep you company. This may sound silly, but you can even have your own invisible friends! I've had one, but that's very rarely for me. It's not silly though if you see the general idea; usually these friends are made from different dimensions of your personality or just because of will. There's a lot more fish in the sea, though, so I'm sure you'll find a true friend that's meant for you  :) Take care, and I hope you'll find a true friend soon!
reply 1 day
ts01
ts01 posted in Friends:
im so sorry you girls feel that way.true friends are there, its just easier to find users because they are more plentiful. dont give up, you will find real friends eventually
reply 1 day
lolflowergirl
lolflowergirl posted in Friends:
i feel alone too
reply 1 day
kayme123
kayme123 posted in Friends:
i know the feeling. but i got taken off a website instead of my friends. i can assure you they probably feel the same and are missing you, BUT its not worth dwelling over it. friends come and go without any choice in life and trust me, i lost the love of my life and my two of the best friends in the world. The thing is, you have to move on, because they wouldent want you feeling sad over them right? they'd want you to be the happy person you were when you were with them! for starters, i'll be your friend so your not scared to make some new ones. To be honest, i went through the exact same thing as you did and it DOES hurt very bad. But once you find some people that are willing to make you feel better, you know you've chosen the right friends again
reply 1 day

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