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Dear Dish-It: Frenemies

Dear Dish-It,

I’m not sure who’s my friend and who’s my enemy at school. Some kids act nice when they want something from me, but as soon as I give it to them they go behind my back and start acting mean again.

MzSmartii

FrenemiesFrenemies
 

Dear MzSmartii,

I’m sorry to hear about your problems with friends at school. It’s pretty obvious, but real friends wouldn’t use you and then turn around and betray you. You’re right to feel confused about who you can trust as a friend and who you can’t. Here’s my advice.

Try Talking it Out

If you can, ask these so-called friends of yours why they are doing what they’re doing. If you think that talking to them will help, that’s probably the best thing to do. Tell them that you would like to be friends with them, but that you expect to be treated a certain way in return. But be careful: some “frenemies” may not be interested in hearing what you have to say at all. Sometimes, you have to figure out on your own who is worth having as a friend and who is not.

Find New Friends

If talking doesn’t work or you don’t think that it would make any difference, it may be time to find some new friends – people at school that you can really trust to treat you the way that you treat them. This may mean going outside your own classroom and joining some new after-school groups or teams to find new pals with interests similar to your own.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for MzSmartii? Leave your comment below!

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Ever Been Ditched By Your Friends?

  • Yeah, my friends ditch me all the time!
  • They ditched me once, but they apologized.
  • No way! My friends would never ditch me.
  • No, but I ditch my friends all the time.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

ThePaleWalker636
So, my brother is kind of a jerk. I won't go into details about him, but now my mom has officially given up on him. She no longer gives him rules or punishes him as long as he isn't interfering with anyone else in my family. Now, it's entirely on my dad's shoulders to make sure he even goes to bed at all. I don't know how I could help, but I'm worried about what will become of my brother when he gets older. He's mean to me, but I really care about him, and I don't want him on the streets. Is there even anything I could do?
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"classicalmusicisepic" wrote: "SmartSunnyShadow" wrote: Hello everybody! Please help me! So I am in grade 6, and I have none of my best friends in my class. It sucks so bad, and when I first came I had no friends either.  Now, though I'm over that and I have made some new "friends." They are really nice and helpful to me, well at least I thought. I think they are just like that because I'm smart. So I made 4 friends.  I'll give their fake names; Camila, Socccer Gal,Bubbly Princess, Harry Potter Fan123, and Shy Flower. So, today I got an A+, and Harry Potter Fan123 got an A++ since she did extra bonuses that I had no idea about. Whatever, I'm over that.  HERE IS THE REAL PROBLEM! So I have a guy in my class that I hate like hell, and my friends Camila, Soccer Gal, and Bubbly Princess told him that I  like him, and I was like EWWWWWWWWWW!!! Well then I blew out and made a racist comment that I am so sad about and my friends were like crazy! I have no idea what to do. Then, my friends started bullying me, and I was like so shocked, I told them to shut up. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!?!   what you're going through right now is actually a part of life, and I think a lot of people have been in similar situations, including myself. everyone is actually bound to come across fake friends in their life, and sometimes it gets quite difficult to manage. if you've said something particularly offensive, I would probably say sorry. I mean, at least you have your original best friends? If they're caring and supportive, they'll try and help you as much as they possibly can. But if you feel like you're not being cared about by these girls in your class, and if you feel inferior to them, I would try to drift away, they're nothing but bad energy for you. I hope I've helped in some way. Good luck! Yes, it's very lonely in my class without any close friends. I am going to say sorry, and thanks a lot! You've helped me a bunch! 
reply about 2 hours
classicalmusicisepic
"SmartSunnyShadow" wrote:Hello everybody! Please help me!So I am in grade 6, and I have none of my best friends in my class. It sucks so bad, and when I first came I had no friends either.  Now, though I'm over that and I have made some new "friends." They are really nice and helpful to me, well at least I thought. I think they are just like that because I'm smart. So I made 4 friends.  I'll give their fake names; Camila, Socccer Gal,Bubbly Princess, Harry Potter Fan123, and Shy Flower. So, today I got an A+, and Harry Potter Fan123 got an A++ since she did extra bonuses that I had no idea about. Whatever, I'm over that.  HERE IS THE REAL PROBLEM!So I have a guy in my class that I hate like hell, and my friends Camila, Soccer Gal, and Bubbly Princess told him that I  like him, and I was like EWWWWWWWWWW!!! Well then I blew out and made a racist comment that I am so sad about and my friends were like crazy! I have no idea what to do. Then, my friends started bullying me, and I was like so shocked, I told them to shut up. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!?! what you're going through right now is actually a part of life, and I think a lot of people have been in similar situations, including myself. everyone is actually bound to come across fake friends in their life, and sometimes it gets quite difficult to manage. if you've said something particularly offensive, I would probably say sorry. I mean, at least you have your original best friends? If they're caring and supportive, they'll try and help you as much as they possibly can. But if you feel like you're not being cared about by these girls in your class, and if you feel inferior to them, I would try to drift away, they're nothing but bad energy for you. I hope I've helped in some way. Good luck!
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"-Oracle-" wrote: "SmartSunnyShadow" wrote: Okay, thanks but will anyone else help me???  If they're as good friends as you're making them out to be then I'm sure they'll forgive and forget. Try not to over think the situation. Okay, thank you so much! 
reply about 2 hours
SmartSunnyShadow
"AnnaOfExquizurd" wrote:In the part where you said they started bullying you... what were some of the things they specifically said?If they were just calling you insensitive or racist, tell them it was an accident. You can apologize about the racist comment. If you show you really are sad about it, they'll know you mean it.I hope everything goes well and gets better ^-^ Thank you! They were bullying me about how I was so stupid and how no one liked me. I shall apologize, thank you again! 
reply about 2 hours