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Dear Dish-It: Frenemies

Dear Dish-It,

I’m not sure who’s my friend and who’s my enemy at school. Some kids act nice when they want something from me, but as soon as I give it to them they go behind my back and start acting mean again.

MzSmartii

Dear MzSmartii,

I’m sorry to hear about your problems with friends at school. It’s pretty obvious, but real friends wouldn’t use you and then turn around and betray you. You’re right to feel confused about who you can trust as a friend and who you can’t. Here’s my advice.

Try Talking it Out

If you can, ask these so-called friends of yours why they are doing what they’re doing. If you think that talking to them will help, that’s probably the best thing to do. Tell them that you would like to be friends with them, but that you expect to be treated a certain way in return. But be careful: some “frenemies” may not be interested in hearing what you have to say at all. Sometimes, you have to figure out on your own who is worth having as a friend and who is not.

Find New Friends

If talking doesn’t work or you don’t think that it would make any difference, it may be time to find some new friends – people at school that you can really trust to treat you the way that you treat them. This may mean going outside your own classroom and joining some new after-school groups or teams to find new pals with interests similar to your own.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for MzSmartii? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Macbarbie09
Macbarbie09 posted in Friends:
I have had a bad week so far at school. this one girl named chloe twisted my friend kayla's Wrist. Both me and Kayla have tried everything from telling her to stop, telling the teachers, EVERYTHING!! I have tried not talking to Chloe since she STEALS Kayla away from me. :(  I do not what High schools and middle schools do now, but, what happens if another student injures another? Do they get expulsion or suspension or What?? 
reply about 4 hours
ehmr
ehmr posted in Family Issues:
Uh okay, so I feel kind of stupid writing this here but I have nowhere else to go to about this. (I'm sorry if this is long). I just really need help with my life as a whole. Basically, I have extremely bad anxiety. It's gotten to the point where I cannot speak. At all. Every time I try to speak, I can never manage more than a few words before I clam up and start to cry. It feels like my IQ drops whenever someone tries to converse with me. I can't go into public either. The last time I did, my back and palms started sweating, my mouth went dry and I couldn't look up from the floor. And this wasn't even to a party or something, this was just the shopping centre. My mood is also extremely low. I feel both emotionally and physically drained which makes it hard to function sometimes. Some days I don't even have the motivation to get out of bed. I am sad 24/7. It is the most awful feeling in the world. Nothing interests me any more and I am so close to crying all the time, I dont know what to do. Sometimes I feel like dying, but death is my biggest fear so I'm not sure if I could be considered suicidal. I am not sure if it is depression because I don't have access to a doctor who can check. More than anything, though, I just want to stop being sad My parents seem to take all of this personally for some reason. They think I am purposely being rude or ignoring them. This is not true, obviously. But I can't tell them that because, like I said, I can barely speak. They keep trying to get me help for THE WRONG THINGS and haven't even thought of getting me help for anxiety. It was the therapist who first suggested that I should get help for anxiety and low mood but my parents still won't even think about getting me help for that and keep trying the wrong things. ~~~ It doesn't help that my mother barely cares about me very much at all. I'm really sorry but this bit is gonna sound like I am whining. But put basically, I have no clothes, no education (she pulled me out of school 2 years ago), and am stuck in what is basically isolation. I have asked her multiple times for clothes but she never buys me any and continues to buy tons for herself. (Or at least tried to when I could speak a bit better, haha, I haven't done since my anxiety got worse). But this means I have to about in the same un-ironed and sometimes unwashed outfit every day and it's gross, really. And since I cannot go to school anymore I have absolutely no friends. None. I do not even have friends online anymore. This makes my mood even worse and I am so ######## lonely. I tried making online friends for a while but I couldn't and since then my laptop broke (I am having to use the mobile site rn) so it's near impossible to make friends anymore. And on the topic of school, I have not had any sort of education in the 2 years I have been out of school. I do not even have a tutor. It's awful, and I would be going into Year 10 next year so I really need education soon since I only have two years left. :/ I feel dumb because of this since I have not learnt to do anything above a Year 7 level. I just don't know what to do anymore!! I really just want to fall asleep and sleep for however long it takes for me to wake up to a better period in my life. TL;DR: I am not at the best point in my life right now and my anxiety and mood only keep getting worse and I'm not sure what to do. :(
reply about 7 hours
Hannah728
Hannah728 posted in Friends:
I have a big problem. Me and my best friend(BFF) have the same crush and i lovee him he is so cute! can you guys help me! plz. comment on my bio, reply here, or pm me plzzzzzzzz! I NEED HELP! have you guys had this problem!?
reply about 8 hours
simran88
simran88 posted in Style:
Clothes...
reply about 9 hours
simran88
simran88 posted in Style:
Great suggestions! I'll try the tape idea, have never done it before. 
reply about 9 hours

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