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Dear Dish-It: Frenemies

Dear Dish-It,

How do I make up with a friend?

Ask It Girl

Dear AIG,

I’m sorry to hear that you and your friend had a fight. But not all is lost – one little fight (or even a big one) doesn’t necessarily mean that the friendship is over! Here’s some advice for turning a frenemy back into a friend…

Talk it Out

I guess this is sorta obvious, but you and your friend really need to have a talk about what happened between you. Figure out a time when the two of you can sit down and have a quiet discussion about this – no yelling! – and try and sort things out. During the conversation, explain to her that you are sorry and that you miss having her as a friend. Listen to her if she has any concerns about what happened, and work out a plan to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Forgive & Forget

The biggest key to making up with a friend after a fight is to forgive and forget. Once the two of you have decided to put whatever happened between you in the past, that’s where it’s gotta stay. Decide in your heart that you really forgive your friend, and don’t bring up what happened in the future. The two of you might argue again, but make sure it’s never about something that you’ve already decided to forgive each other for.

Give it Time

It may take a little while to get your friendship back to where it was, but if that’s what you truly want, then it will eventually happen – you just gotta give it some time. Don’t expect everything to immediately go back to normal. You may have to adjust to a few changes in your friendship but, before long, the two of you will likely be back on track – and hopefully better friends than before!

Have Your Say

Got any good advice for Ask It Girl? Leave your comment below!

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Comments

hot dog girl

hot dog girl wrote:

it depends what kind of fight it is over
commented: Tue Jan 22, 2013

Alondrita

Alondrita wrote:

i am so sorry to hear that it happens to me im trying to do that she wont answer back o...
commented: Thu Nov 29, 2012

warbler2000

warbler2000 wrote:

The best way is to tell him/ her how you feel without him/ her tell how he/she makes yo...
commented: Sun Sep 30, 2012

there are 79 more comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

MissD
MissD posted in Friends:
You are welcome & Good Luck!
reply about 1 hour
snikko
snikko posted in Friends:
A prefect friend is a person that is always with you when you need  them.  THey have you back and they don'bully ou. They hang out with you. THey treat you as an equal. They stand up for you. And they don't laugh at your tureself.
reply about 2 hours
GottaLoveDance
GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
"MissD" wrote:This might seem obvious but is there anyone else you might be able to walk home with? I always try to solve problems simply first. If yes, than I encourage you to invite that person to walk home with you. If not - let's take a step back and figure our why you are feeling left out/ignored. Do your friends talk about things that you don't understand, do they block you from participating in the conversation? If you guys have to walk together and there is no choice in the matter - YOU be the initiator of great conversation. Confidently smile - and talk to BOTH of them at the same time. It's so helpful to be able to navigate a conversation generously. That means you be the one on the high road - ask questions, people love talking about things that are interesting to them. Ask questions and figure out what common things all three of you have together and before you know it your walk will be over. Hope this helps. Let us know what happens. Inclusivity totally kicks butt over exclusivity!  thank you soooo much for the amazing advice, unfortunately I don't really have a choice because my friend walks to my house where her mum picks her up so it would hurt her feelings if I said no to walking with her but ill definitely try yor suggestions in the second paragraph. Thanks
reply about 3 hours
MissD
MissD posted in Friends:
This might seem obvious but is there anyone else you might be able to walk home with? I always try to solve problems simply first. If yes, than I encourage you to invite that person to walk home with you. If not - let's take a step back and figure our why you are feeling left out/ignored.  Do your friends talk about things that you don't understand, do they block you from participating in the conversation? If you guys have to walk together and there is no choice in the matter - YOU be the initiator of great conversation. Confidently smile - and talk to BOTH of them at the same time. It's so helpful to be able to navigate a conversation generously. That means you be the one on the high road - ask questions, people love talking about things that are interesting to them. Ask questions and figure out what common things all three of you have together and before you know it your walk will be over.  Hope this helps. Let us know what happens.  Inclusivity totally kicks butt over exclusivity! 
reply about 4 hours
GottaLoveDance
GottaLoveDance posted in Friends:
I have this one best friend and she is wonderful. But two of my other friends are best friends with each other and when I walk home from school with them I feel really left out and ignored. I don't want to ruin their friendship but I don't know what to do about it. Any suggestions?
reply about 7 hours

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