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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

skylar245
skylar245 posted in Friends:
"rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help. ​No one listens to me anyway but my friends
reply 1 day
rainbowpoptart
rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
"skylar245" wrote:Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible Then maybe try telling the principal yourself, and you should also report that the driver, teacher, and counselor haven't done anything to help you. If that fails, tell another trusted adult, like your mother. I'm sure someone you're close to would do their best to get justice. This is a major problem and it's a shame no one's done anything to help.
reply 1 day
skylar245
skylar245 posted in Friends:
"rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me Then report them to a teacher or the school counselor. Behaviour like that is not acceptable in the slightest. ​Teacher said to wait for the Bus Driver and the counselor, she just talks to me and doesn't tell The Princible
reply 1 day
rainbowpoptart
rainbowpoptart posted in Friends:
"skylar245" wrote:My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me Then report them to a teacher or the school counselor. Behaviour like that is not acceptable in the slightest.
reply 1 day
skylar245
skylar245 posted in Friends:
"rainbowpoptart" wrote: "skylar245" wrote: Rainbowpoptart they don't just say things, it CAN get physical for a few days! like once someone punched me in shoulder because I blocked them hitting my stomach, and two girls who shall remain nameless fought on the bus, Physical? Well my gosh, report them to an authority figure! You can't let them get away with that kind of stuff. ​My bus driver does NOTHING about it EVEN IF HE SEE'S IT! he only wrote the two girls up but not the girl that hit me
reply 1 day