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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Flamesword15
Flamesword15 posted in Friends:
Touche... I feel alone as well... I hate myself... People bully me for the stupidest of reasons, and it never ends! It's the reason I came on here in the first place. To have people that I can consider friends with a straight face (I have a few of those in real life but I'm not exactly a social butterfly. Well, I hate myself even more when I have to lie about not having friends, saying I have heaps of them, when that would be 35... I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but hey, I just assume I offend everyone I talk to... which is why I don't talk much...
reply 8 minutes
classicrockgirl71
Ask your dad why he won't let you go. If it's cost then offer to pay for it yourself if he won't pay and you don't want your friend to pay. If you don't have enough money right now ask your dad if you can pay him back over time by doing extra chores or something. Also calmly explain that you really like the band and really would like to see them live. Is your friend's mom or dad going with you? That might affect his decision if he's worried about your safety.
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brachio_hera
brachio_hera posted in Friends:
yeah. me too :| 
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Everytime I ask my dad for something, its no. Yesterday I asked if I could go to the 5sos concert, he said no, and I asked why. He said there was no one to take me. My friend offered to take me, since she is going. I asked for money for the ticket, and he asked how much it was. I said it was $24, and he said that is too much and that he just bought me a phone yesterday. (my phone was an update, IT WAS 99 CENTS!) My friend then offered to pay for my ticket, and I told her I couldnt let her do it, she has bought me too many things already. WHat d0 i do? How do I convince my parents? It will be my first concert.
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disney princess
"Delancey" wrote:I'm sorry to hear this , but I think you should talk with your teachers. It's really annoying, and I guess you shouldn't care for whatever they say. You're pretty, you're beautiful in your own way. Um, I guess you should talk with teachers/adults about it and I know it'll be tough for you, but ignore what they say and just be you!  
reply about 10 hours

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