Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012


Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?


Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

XxIHateMathxX posted in Friends:
This thing happened in kindergarten ... too embarrassing to even talk about it now ... so bye.
reply about 2 hours
"CountessElectra" wrote:The loss of my grandad was horrible. I felt so sad at the time. I felt like i would never stop crying when my parents told me. It still makes me sad today... aww. i hope everything's okay :(
reply about 3 hours
"hugebear" wrote:This is the awesome thread and thank you for posting it manu [stickied] :) thank you huge :) 
reply about 3 hours
hugebear posted in Family Issues:
Ello. Im sorry that your going through this and Im wondering why would you feel like this? Did you notice when you stopped enjoying things and you started feeling sad? Is there one or some things in your life what happened? You sound like your the awesome person and I really hope you discusses this with the adults in your family and / or counsellors.  Im here if you wants to talk and in advances im  the horribles advise giver :angel
reply about 4 hours
Thanks for replying... not
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