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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Kirsteeeeen
This thread has been moved. Click here to see the new thread.
reply 1 day
Isabellax
@nrfvltmrdftw06  :p :p
reply 1 day
nrfrvltmrdftw06
 @isabellax same
reply 2 days
Ashleexo
Ashleexo posted in Family Issues:
"Sophieex_" wrote:I'm not afraid of either of my parents. But if I could choose, my mom. I'm also not afraid of either of my parents at anytime.  But when I was 13 and under and in trouble, it would be my dad.
reply 2 days
country_girl19
If you really want to get rid of the romantic feelings for him, just try picturing a future with him, and also asking these questions in your head, "Is he a good guy?" "Would we last?" But maybe he's acting awkward around you, because your friend asked him to Prom, but he might rather go with you, but doesn't know how to say anything about the situation. I would suggest talking to him about it, and if he is a jerk about it, don't bother. But talk to him first, and if he has the same feelings, then talk to your friend about it. I just want to warn you, that if you do this, you and others could get their feelings hurt. Crushes are a risky, scary thing in high school. Anyway, that's what I think you should do. If you don't want to do that, then follow what your intuition tells you.
reply 2 days