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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Hii, i want to give advice to all of you about this subject. first of all, always trust your BFF. why?, it's because she/he is the one who makes you feel like a family and always be there with you. Second, always remember your BFF where ever you are. i got this idea from my bff whose not n the same school with me. 8 February was her birthday while i said happy birthday to her 2 day later (i know i'm the worst). i literally panicked and said sorry to her like a thousand times. while she said "it's okay, i'm glad someone in your school (because some of us transfers here at my new school too) remembers my birthday, maybe all of them already forget me" she answered (which i'm touched). and the last, never ever betray your BFF. like i said at the start, they are like your family and will do anything for you to be happy. so keep their trust too. and that's all from me, hope it's helpful. love ya [s:sm3/1jw1]
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esthery27
esthery27 posted in Friends:
I think you should just be yourself and be patient. You will find some eventually
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