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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

haych-dot-hussain
So y dnt u jus sit next 2 some1 else...some1 who is happy nd 4get bout wat happened.....
reply about 2 hours
MysticalC
My mother would ask me why I did what I did and then I would find out a way to lie myself out of trouble but she also sometimes takes a long stick and uses it to hit me anywhere possible and I mean anywhere.My grandmother would just straight out do the second thing.
reply about 4 hours
MysticalC
Just now,I wouldn't let my cousin look at my ipad and my grandmother gangs up with my cousin and both now say I am horrible and mean and unkind.Shouldn't they understand that I should have at least some privacy and not have my cousin breathing down my neck every possible time! I now need advice real badly.
reply about 4 hours
Lilbear813
Lilbear813 posted in Style:
Yup and i wasnt trying 2 offend any body if u kno wat i mean
reply about 9 hours
aja2hip
aja2hip posted in Style:
If you mean that special someone then I guess that would be my boyfriend!
reply about 9 hours

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