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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Ezma
Ezma posted in Style:
Dear Dish it, Im already a grown teen but I don't think I am that easy to get along whem meeting new friends in school. And I think its because I lose my confidence cause I got some speech defect which called lisp. I often sometimes looks weird when theyre talking to me and It really affects me. What should I do? I have read and tried all the practice and therapy I read in the internet for a year but it doesnt make a change. I hope you help me
reply about 6 hours
inkdeath
inkdeath posted in Family Issues:
I always remind myself with this quote:This too, shall pass. 
reply about 23 hours
Cupcakesss123
I think your parents dont want u to be crazy like your friends n your friends arent bad so i guess u should talk to your friends parents over phone or sum n let them meet your parents :D 
reply about 23 hours
donteatcarrots
you really need to have a proper chat with your parents. you're doing really well in school, and seem to have a good set of friends, and tell them that you should be able to go out, i mean you've done nothing wrong and surely should be allowed a little freedom in return?
reply about 23 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
well uh... maybe talk to your friend about it... if the boy seems like to your bff anymore, then you can't do much about it. don't let it get in the way of your friendship.
reply about 23 hours