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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

electricatheist
If you're willing to face the consequences, then yes. I know a lot of people say violence is never the answer, but in truth it sometimes is. If you really want somebody to leave you alone, then fight. If you win, it shows that you're dominant over that person and hopefully he/she will leave you alone.
reply about 1 hour
DisneyanimeLover
Lovely advice. Than you. I found this quite helpful.
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Honestly, I think it's better to get your feelings out sooner rather than later- maybe ask him why he's being mean to you... Though, don't say it in such a way that annoys boys... If you know what I mean.
reply about 2 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
Hello. Just call me Carrots if you don't know me already. :p Anyway, I'm hoping I'll be able to make a little forum post on making friends and making sure the friendships last. ^-^ ••• I hope this helps. ••• Making friends// Making friends can be dauntless, especially if you moved schools or to a different place which is simply far away from your old friends. I mean, it's fine to keep in contact with your old friends ##-####, text, letters etc), but you do have to consider it'll be better if you can make more friends at your new location- seriously, it'll help! How to make friends// • Get talking with people- join in people's conversations; try to be a little more social- it'll be easier to make friends if you're social around people. • Have a look around- are there any clubs or events that catch your interest- maybe a drama class or art club? If you join these type of things, you're more likely to meet people who have similar interests to you. :3 • Do act yourself. That means not to be so loud that people take you in the wrong way- but don't be too quiet either- otherwise people won't notice you! • Pay attention to people when they're speaking- they'll appreciate it if you just listen to what they say and you can have your say too! • Hang out with one or two people that you already know- who knows, you might be introduced to their friends too. • Do make an effort! c: [posting more tomorrow- I'm sorry that this is absolutely terrible]
reply about 2 hours
CloudNineGirl
CloudNineGirl posted in Friends:
Aw, so cute! :)
reply about 16 hours

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