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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Comments

lonnie123

lonnie123 wrote:

I do alot and I know that's not good but I'm trying not to and it's crazy when I do it but I'll try to get help and I say some mean thing and call ppl names so yeah I'll get help and I don't mean it and I don't meant to hurt then
commented: Sat Aug 30, 2014

Disney_

Disney_ wrote:

Awh /.\ Chu Ish Beautiful ♥
commented: Sat Aug 30, 2014

skatebourder45
im just like the girl and that pic is how i feel about me
commented: Sun Oct 13, 2013

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

jordand08
I'm really sorry you have to do through this and that you think you have to go through this alone. But I'm here. Maybe you should move with your dad. It would be safer for you there then with your mom. People say, that the people who you love are the one's who hurt you the most. But not in this case, your parents and the one's around you should be the reason you want to live. They should encourage you to do better, and not get mad when you don't succeed the first time. I understand what you're going through, and if you ever need me, I'm here. I am willing to talk, and sometimes, talking is all it needs to brighten someone's day. So please, come and talk to me. Just.. talk to your dad and see if you can move now, explain to him what's happening.
reply about 1 hour
Anime_
Anime_ posted in Family Issues:
There are millions of things that she does to me to hurt me. She hits a lot for no reason, she always says I'm 'talking back' when I'm just trying to explain in a polite way. She takes sides. When I yell at my 5 year old sister, She freaks out and grounds me it even worse hits me. When my sister yells at me or hits me, all she says is 'sweetie don't hit that brat'. And I'm not exaggerating cause she always does these things. The list can go on and on. When My mom calls me names or hurts my feelings and then I start crying, she calls me 'bratty' and other mean words, and she wonders why I have low self-esteem. I mean, people have feelings too. She thinks the world revolves around her. And when she's sad or angry, she wants me to comfort her. She hurts my feelings so bad that I just want to die. And shell probably be mad at me for dying. I can't take it. Ugh. And I have to deal with her for one more year, then im moving with My dad. Not like she'll miss me.
reply about 1 hour
viti
viti posted in Style:
i like all hairstyles
reply about 5 hours
jordand08
jordand08 posted in Style:
Pj bottoms, and a shirt. 
reply about 18 hours
Mentally_Hilarious
Clothes.
reply about 18 hours

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