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Dear Dish-It: My Girlfriend Puts Herself Down

Jan 16, 2012

 

Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people really well. But she always puts herself down. If she gets a question wrong in math that only the class nerd got right, she’ll say, “Oh, I’m so thick!” In art if something is out of proportion she’ll think she’s rubbish. I think it’s driving us apart; what can I do?

TheBoyfriend

Dear TB,

Sounds like your girlfriend really IS down on herself – but she’s not al;one. Lots of people (and, for some weird reason), many girls suffer from something called low self-esteem, where no matter how amazing they are, they always think that they could be better. Either that, or your girl is a perfectionist – she feels that she always has to get everything 100% right and, if she doesn’t, she beats herself up for it and doesn’t give herself any credit for doing a great job.

Stronger Self-Esteem

You sounds like a really caring boyfriend but, apart from reassuring your girlfriend that she’s great and that you like her exactly the way she is, I’m afraid that this self-esteem issue is one that only she can improve – and only if she wants to. If you talk to her about how her negativity about herself is affecting your relationship, she may be motivated to make a change. If so, there are things she can do to build her self-esteem up, including being kinder to herself and giving herself credit for doing her best.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for TheBoyfriend? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

lordoflego
i also had a friend how is a girl, she liked me and all i had to was ask her out! now we are dating. :)
reply about 5 hours
Cutepandicorn
Umm...If she is the kind of girl that likes to talk a lot and tells everybody what is going on then the whole school will know when she finds out you like her.  I say who cares if the whole school knows you like her.  I like it if a boy tells me he likes me and ask me out.  I don't like boys trying to be sneaky coz they stink at it and end up looking stupid.  If you want to be sneaky about it you can ask her if she can help you with your homework or ask her if she wants to hang with you and your friends at the mall or you can look at her and smile and see if she smiles back at you.
reply about 5 hours
Jojo132
well, as a girl i know that i like it when boys are up front with there feelings. girls like to know that they can trust you to tell them the truth no matter who's watching you.  that may show that you really do like her. if you need to do it privately, then mabey if you do any after school activities and she does then ask her then. jojo(: 
reply about 11 hours
Epicryan2
How would I ask her if she likes me without the entire school knowing? I like her too. Please answer I want to know by today
reply about 14 hours
zoomzoomkitty
zoomzoomkitty posted in Style:
Erm, my casual clothes are black and grey. 
reply about 14 hours