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Dear Dish-It: My Skin Color is Different

Jan 23, 2012

Dear Dish-It,

Everyone in my school is white; I’m like the only one that is dark-skinned and I get picked on all the time. I’m getting tired of it, but I don’t know what to do.

KK63

Dear KK63,

Picking on someone else because of the color of their skin is not only racist, it’s also bullying. And both are very serious issues. Here’s my best advice for you on what to do…

Bullying 101

Being bullied or picked on is no fun at all, and it happens all too often for a variety of reasons that usually have to do with being different in some way, shape or form. The first thing you need to know is that what’s happening to you is NOT OK. Know that you are in the right and the kids that are picking on you because they feel you are somehow “different” than they are, are WRONG. With that knowledge, you can take the next step to correct the situation.

Tell Someone

It may seem scary to tell someone about what’s happening to you, especially if you’re worried that it will make the kids who are picking on you angry. But it’s important to get the right people on your side – people who can really help to make the racist bullying stop. These people include close friends that you really trust and caring adults like your mom, dad, teacher, principal or school counselor. You can even tell your family doctor if you like – he or she will likely have some good advice for you. If you’re worried, you don’t need to let your bullies know that you are reaching out for help. You can do it without them knowing, and let the people who care about you start dealing with the kids at your school who feel that racism and bullying are OK.

Build Your Self-Esteem

While you let the adults handle the bullies in the appropriate way, there are things you can do to make yourself feel better about your situation at school and fitting in. Start smiling at and talking to kids in your class who seem friendly and see if you have anything in common with them. Better yet, join a club or after-school class or team that does something you’re interested in – like band or arts and crafts or soccer – where you know you’ll meet other kids who enjoy doing some of the same things as you. You can also work on self-improvement, which means learning and doing things to make yourself happy about being you, like taking a martial arts class or learning how to cook. Feeling better about yourself and knowing what a good person you are inside will help you to realize that people who bully you about something like your skin color are only doing so because, deep down, they actually feel really bad about themselves.

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for KK63? Leave your comment below!

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

labimba
labimba posted in Style:
Neko girl I have to get back in shape for September if u want we can be training buddies!  :)  
reply about 20 hours
animallover468
animallover468 posted in Style:
EndlessDream is right. Skipping breakfast and lunch can result in stomach ulcers and sudden weight gain (had personal experience...), ESPECIALLY skipping breakfast! You have to incorporate exercise in your daily routine. Stomach and body fat is mostly caused by lack of exercise, and maybe that means you need to do toning exercises. Try doing simple exercise videos like the 3-mile powerwalk on YouTube (trust me, I sweat like crazy when I do those workouts). Anything that gets you sweating, is the kind of exercise you need to do.  I hated working out when I first started my weight loss journey too. I would always start wheezing every time I started working out. But after pushing through everyday, I think working out is one of the best stress busters I've ever had!  If you want to lower your appetite though, I suggest eating a full lunch and breakfast and skipping your dinner. If you can't skip dinner, then at least try aiming for an early dinner, around 5:30 or 6:00. Your body needs time to digest at least 4 hours before you sleep. I started gaining weight around puberty when I was 12, it could be the same for you too.  But honestly, there's nothing wrong with having consciousness about your weight. Now starving yourself and dieting is BAD, but there's nothing wrong with changing your lifestyle in order to be fit. It's a good thing that kids start caring about their health, and the earlier you start, the better off you are. 
reply about 21 hours
EndlessDream
EndlessDream posted in Style:
You need breakfast and lunch. Starving yourself, even if you aren't hungry, makes you loose energy to the point you could pass out from not eating. Keep your diet healthy. For breakfast, at least have yogurt, fruit, and juice. Drink at least 4 full glasses of water a day. Trim down on the snacks. Everyone has different bodies and build. You may just be large-boned. And that's not bad! That makes you stronger and higher ability to gain muscle. Loosing weight doesn't happen over night. It can take months. 
reply 1 day
Nekogirl101
Nekogirl101 posted in Style:
For years my parents would tell me I'm skinny but compared to other people, my waist was bigger and I would always hide it. Though it was obvious I weighed more, I've only been doing this for a week and I didn't ever tell anyone what I was doing until my parents found out. I would skip lunch and breakfast and say I was full. I only ate a big dinner every night. Once my parents found out, they said it was unhealthy and if I didn't  stop, I would develop an eating disorder. I obviously listened to them, but I've tried as best as I can so far. I have barely lost any weight from exercise and my parents won't let me go on a diet because I already 'eat healthy enough'. I want to lose weight without exercising being 3/4s of my lifestyle. I know, I'm a lazy idiot for saying all this.
reply 1 day
rainbowpoptart
Yes, purely for the fact that you should not "hate" your sister (or anyone, for that matter).  I'm guessing by "get in trouble for her", you mean she does something wrong and the blame is all put on you? Yeah, little siblings tend to do that a lot. My brother did for the longest time, until my parents found out how much a liar he is. She, hopefully, will grow out of this eventually. Either that, or your parent[s]/guardian[s] will eventually see through her. You lose your friends to her? By this do you mean your friends want to hang out with her and they want you to tag along and you don't? Or do you mean your friends chose your sister over you? If it's the latter, then perhaps you shouldn't have ever referred to those people as friends. You'll find friends who'll prefer you over your sister, I'm sure of it. The only thing I can tell you to do is try to get along with your sister. Every group of siblings has their cats and dogs moment in life, but they grow out of it (most of the time; there are, of course, circumstances where it doesn't work out that way). Please be grateful for your sister, even if you two fight a lot. You never know how much you need something until it's gone.
reply 3 days