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Dear Dish-It: My Boyfriend Has A Bad Reputation

Dear Dish-It,

I recently started going out with a boy from another school. He’s really nice and sweet to me, but I found out that he has a really bad reputation at his school. People call him a druggy and apparently he’s been in a lot of fights. He tells me the stories aren’t true, but I don’t know what to believe. Should I break up with him?

Hesitant

Dear Hesitant,

In a situation like this, you need to follow your gut instinct. Your intuition is more powerful than you think. If there’s something telling you that this guy is trouble, definitely listen to that voice. It’s better to get out before your relationship gets too serious.

Rumors or Truth?

If you’re hearing these stories from people who don’t know him personally or who can’t prove these accusations, then they could have been distorted along the way. It’s like a game of telephone: the more people who pass the story along, the more it changes. But if you’re getting firsthand information from people who know for a fact that this guy is no good, then you should probably end it.

Ask Yourself These Questions

You really need to decide where your moral stance is on this. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who does drugs? With someone who picks fights? Do you want to risk that he might become violent with you? You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel safe, who makes you feel proud to introduce them to your friends and your parents, and especially someone who is honest with you. If the rumors about him are in fact true, then he’s been lying to you. Is that the kind of guy you want as your boyfriend?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Hesitant? Leave your comment below!

 
125 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Itz_Eyn
Itz_Eyn posted in Friends:
This is the problem... My friends that I hang out with in school keeps on calling me fat and stupid. They are my only friends so I will not betray them, but when they are in trouble, they makes me the scapegoat and blame me on everything. Everytime they drop something, they tell me to pick it up for them. Everytime when I cannot play with them due to health issues, they will tell me to trade for something, like I can't play on a day, they will ask me to help them buy drinks (with their money).
reply about 2 hours
Gingerkissx
Maybe you could try working your way up to the conversation. I started out talking about how I was feeling online because it was practically impossible to talk about in real life, then I started talking about depression (in general, not that I thought I had it) to my friends - who I was feeling very distant from at the time, before I started being able to admit that I probably had it myself. Reaching out is one of the hardest parts but trust me, you will get there eventually. I found it hard myself because people tell people to reach for help but they never really talk about how to do it. It's usually just building the courage to say "I've been feeling depressed" even though it's not a comfortable thing to say. The thing is, there are many people out there who will be willing to help you that you wont trust. I got help when I admitted to my maths teacher about what was going on, and I definitely did not trust my maths teacher. But anxiety and depression is quite common and out there are going to be people who will understand and have been through similar experiences. You just have to find an adult who can get you help. Whether this be your parents, family member, a school counselor, or a teacher.  I hope this was helpful, and good luck.
reply about 3 hours
Austin312
Austin312 posted in Friends:
So okay, there are two guys in my class and both of them have a crush on me. Both asked me out and i dont know what should i do. same thing as what happened to you shygirl03 
reply about 11 hours
toripizza
last friday, i was home alone, my dad went to am AA meting and chiz, so i was alone for a couple og hours, i mean yeah i'm depressed, i cut, i have suicidal thoughts daily.......it's hard hurting inside..and just to see everyone pass you by like you're nothing, people judging you without knowing you. i also have social anxiety, and it really bothers me at school, so i try to walk fast in the halls, and i'm tense a lot. people criticize me once in a while.... ive been through some stuff, i've seen my mom abused infront of me thousand of times..........it's just hard...life. i'm scared to deal with it. so i made a noose, tried to attempt. long story short, my friend called the police, i got sent to the ER......my dad doesn't trust me alone for a mere 3 seconds, cause he thinks as soon as he turns his back i'll cut myself, or hang myself
reply about 13 hours
hugebear
hugebear posted in Friends:
So there's this guy in my class and he sits next to me. Correction he HAS to sit next to me, So my classroom as a table with 2 desks connected to make a huge desk but separated holders things to put our stuff in. So this guy is really the class clown of the class and he can be a jerk when he wants to be but sometimes can be a really nice guy. He likes to talk to me and he "Occasionally" Touches my hand or arm in a friendly way.. I think :3 but anyways he teases me ... A LOT but he sometimes insults me but when he sees my face not cracking into a smile. he instantly says sorry or didnt mean it like that kind of way and i smile. So does he like me? Or he just being a regular guy?  Ello and I thinks he likes you and feels your the close enough friend what he can joke around with. He doesnt want to offend you or upset you and that shows he cares about your feelings. Me advises is take your time and see how your friendship develops.  If it feeels natural to ask him does he like you then ask him and theres no rush :) Good luck :love
reply about 16 hours

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