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Dear Dish-It: My Boyfriend Has A Bad Reputation

Dear Dish-It,

I recently started going out with a boy from another school. He’s really nice and sweet to me, but I found out that he has a really bad reputation at his school. People call him a druggy and apparently he’s been in a lot of fights. He tells me the stories aren’t true, but I don’t know what to believe. Should I break up with him?

Hesitant

Dear Hesitant,

In a situation like this, you need to follow your gut instinct. Your intuition is more powerful than you think. If there’s something telling you that this guy is trouble, definitely listen to that voice. It’s better to get out before your relationship gets too serious.

Rumors or Truth?

If you’re hearing these stories from people who don’t know him personally or who can’t prove these accusations, then they could have been distorted along the way. It’s like a game of telephone: the more people who pass the story along, the more it changes. But if you’re getting firsthand information from people who know for a fact that this guy is no good, then you should probably end it.

Ask Yourself These Questions

You really need to decide where your moral stance is on this. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who does drugs? With someone who picks fights? Do you want to risk that he might become violent with you? You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel safe, who makes you feel proud to introduce them to your friends and your parents, and especially someone who is honest with you. If the rumors about him are in fact true, then he’s been lying to you. Is that the kind of guy you want as your boyfriend?

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Hesitant? Leave your comment below!

 
125 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

shygirl03
shygirl03 posted in Friends:
So there's this guy in my class and he sits next to me. Correction he HAS to sit next to me, So my classroom as a table with 2 desks connected to make a huge desk but separated holders things to put our stuff in. So this guy is really the class clown of the class and he can be a jerk when he wants to be but sometimes can be a really nice guy. He likes to talk to me and he "Occasionally" Touches my hand or arm in a friendly way.. I think :3 but anyways he teases me ... A LOT but he sometimes insults me but when he sees my face not cracking into a smile. he instantly says sorry or didnt mean it like that kind of way and i smile. So does he like me? Or he just being a regular guy? 
reply about 1 hour
Mrawsomegamer
My best friend is autistic and mild to moderate on the spectrum. He has a daily routine and obviously keeps to it.  His sister who's 18 told me about his condition. And she spoke to me about how much help he needs around the house. My friend doesn't actually need all that much help, as his autism isn't that bad compared to others I know. He mainly suffers reading people's emotions, and having the confidence to make friends and talk aloud. But his sister did complain that he was always the needy one around the house when she was younger.  What you've got to understand is that autism affects people in different ways, no autistic person is the same, and so requires a different level of work and help towards them. Your brothers didn't ask for this. They were born like that. I know how it feels though, feeling left out. And feeling like your parents don't love you. They really do. They just don't have time to express that love, which is kinda sad really.  Maybe you could get involved in helping your brothers out. Depending on how old they are, you can educate them on reading emotions, and things like that. They're great life skills. Or simply just being there for them is something you can do. Autism itself is a pretty frustrating thing for the person who has it. My friend hates it, but tries to live with it as a gift. Just a little support can go a long way.
reply about 3 hours
donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
This is a really weird situation... Maybe she's feeling sorry for you?
reply 1 day
AnneS12
AnneS12 posted in Family Issues:
Well That is your choice who you want to stay with.Nobody can force you about it.When your parents see a family<a data-cke-saved-href=" lawyer, then he will ask you whom do you want to stay with and jury will decide.So dont worry .
reply 2 days
worldqweencc
worldqweencc posted in Friends:
I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
reply 3 days

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