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Dear Dish-It, I Think My BF Cheated


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

My best friend died in a wreck with a bus. I don't know what to do because at school I just break down in tears. I've gone to the counselor but all she did was make me cry more. What can I do?
AmandaGurl


Dear AmandaGurl,

First off, I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. It doesn't matter how old you are when you lose a loved one - it's always going to hurt. You were wise to go and see your school counselor and you'd be smart to go back and see her again. There is no magical cure for getting over something like this - everyone heals in different ways and at different rates of time. Don't feel bad for crying because it's an important part of the healing process. The best thing is to just take it one day at a time and try to remember all the great things about your friendship. If you don't think that talking to your school counselor is doing any good, you should look into seeing a professional outside of school. Just remember that this is not something you are going to just instantly get over, ok? Surround yourself with people you care about and you'll be sure to get through this, even if it feels like that that's impossible right now.


Dear Dish-It,

My boyfriend just left for Australia and he gave me his email password, so that I could see how his friends in Toronto are doing (we live in another province.) So, I went to check his email and there was one from a girl in Toronto saying that she's sorry about what happened between them before he left but she doesn't regret it. She does, however, regret the circumstances in which it happened, (meaning that he was going out with me.) What do I do? I can't even talk to him.
erin


Dear erin,

Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend is a big, insensitive jerk. He knew he gave you his email password and therefore knew that you would probably find the email from the girl he cheated with. That's a pretty lousy thing to do. You're right to feel angry but you're gonna have to talk to him sooner or later. Of course you don't want to freak out and jump to conclusions but you've gotta tell him what you found and how upset it made you. Let him explain himself but if his explanation isn't something that you're happy with, dump him. You deserve to be treated with respect and not to be cheated on. There's plenty of time in your life to deal with complicated relationships, right now you should focus on being with someone that you can have a good time with and who treats you well. Good Luck!


Well, first of all tell him that if he's cheatin' with someone and if he looks like he did cheat, then dump him cuz he's not your guy!

Kidz Submit by:

Nickname: AgCienia
Age: 11

I know how you feel. I lost a friend recently in a car crash. I know that it is very tough. Remember, at the end of every tough thing, there is always a beacon shining bright.

Kidz Submit by:

Nickname: Redhdangelkay
Age: 14

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • 159 Comments

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Fun_125
    Fun_125 posted in Friends:
    I've had friends like this. The relationship made me unhappy so I took a step back. From what I think is that she isnt your real friend. This happens to the best of us. Does it suck? Yes. It does very much. When she grows up and realizes that you aren't there then she can be annoyed. But until then maybe stop spending a lot of time with her...
    reply about 2 hours
    Autonomy
    "Lulu335" wrote: I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!! Oh sweetheart, your situation is so, so very far from being complicated. In fact, it's actually, entirely simple. But I'm here to help you see that, because you can't see it yourself quite yet. Brace yourself, you may never hear such advice in your life ever again. Or you might, I can't predict the future. You're in sixth grade, you said. Assuming you live in the United states and weren't held back, you're probably 12, maybe 11. The problem is, the human brain isn't fully developed until a person hits the age of about 25. This means, without debate, that your brain unable to fully grasp what being in a relationship actually entails, what it means, what the consequences are, and so forth. You can't even fathom it, my dear. I couldn't at your age; no one can. You've just begun to hit puberty at this point in your very young, completely normal life. Certain hormones are now being developed by your body that, up until puberty began, your body did not produce. Let me explain, in simple terms, what this means: these new hormones are giving you fuzzy feelings for boys, but these feelings are not what people with fully developed brains call "love." Love means being self sacrificing, compromising, giving and taking, communicating clearly and honestly, and so much more. What you're feeling is a part of love-romance-but it's not all there is to love. It's actually just a few simple chemicals being released in your brain: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and few others. Your brain releases those chemicals when, say, you see a boy you like, and those chemicals make you feel all fuzzy inside. In fact, (brace yourself,) there's nothing inherently special about the boys you like, or the boys that like you; in fact, they're also, entirely normal, and aside from a few minor differences in character, completely like most other boys their age. Had you been born in another town, gone to another school, you would have gotten the same fuzzy feeling about whatever boy you thought you liked at that school. You see? I'm not saying this to make you feel insignificant, but perhaps the insight will make moving easier for you. The next place your militant parents settle down in will also have a middle school, with a bunch of normal 11-14 year old boys and girls, all doing the exact same things the kids at your school do right now. Does that put things in perspective for you? The world is a very, very big place, and it's home to billions upon billions of people. Your situation is far from being a needle in a hay stack; it's more like a blade of grass, in a vast field of foliage. The feelings you're feeling aren't uncommon or complicated, they just feel that way to you. (Now, really brace yourself, because this is going to get uncomfortable.) We, as people, tend to think that we're special. Each one of us a unique snowflake, drifting about in big blue sky, that exists solely to show the world how special we are. The problem is, the other seven billions snowflakes (people) think exactly like we do, and in this way, we are all the same. We think our problems are new problems that no one has ever dealt with before, and no one else could possibly understand the pain and suffering we're going through. We all think this way, by nature; but it's simply naive. Heartache and suffering have existed since people existed, and possibly before then. Your situation may not be ideal to you, but once you come to terms with the fact that life isn't ideal for anyone, you might actually feel comfort. The easiest way to cope with our many problems, is to accept them for what they are: a part of the human experience. Natural, normal, repeating generation after generation without end. Again, these are concepts that require some deep thought, and you might not fully grasp them quite yet. But remember them. With time, as you grow, think about them more, and you will find peace with your life. And remember this: although you're stuck (for now) on a giant rock hurling around the sun at an incredible speed, you're not alone. With billions of other people stuck here with you, you'll never be without friends.
    reply about 12 hours
    Fun_125
    I personally think that when you ARE ready then go for it! As long as the person you like isn't a jerk to anyone or you go for it! Just don't get too serious. It's middle school. Good luck!
    reply about 14 hours
    Error44
    "Lulu335" wrote:I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!!I know, it is too late but I think you should not go for a deeper relationship, don't make it hard for yourself and try to be his just friend because you are so young .
    reply about 17 hours
    Error44
    "queenslay173" wrote:I was at school when I noticed people started to tell me this boy liked me and I thought it was cool because I'm used to that type of stuff then we started to dated in October we broke up right before christmas and it was so strange. we got back together in the beginning of January and we broke up again on the 4 my friends are really mad at me and he seemed really upset I like him but I just don't want to be with him anymore what should I do ?- confused lover Tell him your reasons and make it clear for both of you
    reply about 17 hours