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Dear Dish-it: My Boyfriend and I Don't Talk

Jul 12, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I've been going out with a boy from my class for a few weeks now. He's fun and talkative when we're in a group, but when we're alone, he barely talks. All we do is watch movies or kissIt's so awkward! Please help me!

Desperate for Convo

Dear Desperate for Convo,

New relationships are often awkward. It usually takes a while for both partners to feel comfortable enough to open up. Some people talk non-stop to avoid awkward silences, while others don't know how to fill them. It sounds like your relationship is the latter.

Talk About Him

All it takes is the right question to get the ball rolling. Most guys like to talk about themselves (who doesn't?!), so ask him about his life, his friendships, his family, the sports he plays or enjoys, the TV shows he watches, or even the food he eats at home! Even shy guys can talk your ear off if you give them the right topic. 

Reminisce

If that doesn't work, bring up a situation from your past when you were both present: a funny moment in class, something you did with your group of friends, the troublemaker's latest attention-grab at school, your teacher's funny habits or the projects you're working on in class.

Play A Game

If he's still tongue-tied, suggest an activity that would require him to use his words. Put the movie aside and bust out a board game like Clue or Monopoly or, best of all, Cranium. That way you'll have to play charades, sing some humdingers as well as read and answer questions. 

Be Honest

Still not working? If you've tried everything and he's still not responding, it's time to be honest. Come clean. Tell him that you want to get to know him better, but you're having a hard time. Tell him that for your relationship to grow, you need to communicate. After all, open communication is the cornerstone of a relationship. If he has a problem with that, maybe it's time to find someone new.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Desperate for Convo? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

281 Comments

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

donteatcarrots
donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
This is a really weird situation... Maybe she's feeling sorry for you?
reply about 23 hours
AnneS12
AnneS12 posted in Family Issues:
Well That is your choice who you want to stay with.Nobody can force you about it.When your parents see a family<a data-cke-saved-href=" lawyer, then he will ask you whom do you want to stay with and jury will decide.So dont worry .
reply 2 days
worldqweencc
worldqweencc posted in Friends:
I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
reply 3 days
catsandpizza
catsandpizza posted in Style:
American Apparel croptop, Juicy Couture velvet sweatpants and Uggs
reply 3 days
Heyyyyy_
Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
"donteatcarrots" wrote:I dunno, looks like something more than being friends is going on here. It's probably best to ask her face-to-face though, before jumping to conclusions. ^^^
reply 3 days

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