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Dear Dish-it: My Boyfriend and I Don't Talk

Jul 12, 2013

Dear Dish-it,

I've been going out with a boy from my class for a few weeks now. He's fun and talkative when we're in a group, but when we're alone, he barely talks. All we do is watch movies or kissIt's so awkward! Please help me!

Desperate for Convo

Dear Desperate for Convo,

New relationships are often awkward. It usually takes a while for both partners to feel comfortable enough to open up. Some people talk non-stop to avoid awkward silences, while others don't know how to fill them. It sounds like your relationship is the latter.

Talk About Him

All it takes is the right question to get the ball rolling. Most guys like to talk about themselves (who doesn't?!), so ask him about his life, his friendships, his family, the sports he plays or enjoys, the TV shows he watches, or even the food he eats at home! Even shy guys can talk your ear off if you give them the right topic. 

Reminisce

If that doesn't work, bring up a situation from your past when you were both present: a funny moment in class, something you did with your group of friends, the troublemaker's latest attention-grab at school, your teacher's funny habits or the projects you're working on in class.

Play A Game

If he's still tongue-tied, suggest an activity that would require him to use his words. Put the movie aside and bust out a board game like Clue or Monopoly or, best of all, Cranium. That way you'll have to play charades, sing some humdingers as well as read and answer questions. 

Be Honest

Still not working? If you've tried everything and he's still not responding, it's time to be honest. Come clean. Tell him that you want to get to know him better, but you're having a hard time. Tell him that for your relationship to grow, you need to communicate. After all, open communication is the cornerstone of a relationship. If he has a problem with that, maybe it's time to find someone new.

Have Your Say

Do you have any advice for Desperate for Convo? Tell us in our comment section below!

 

285 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
reply 2 days
fitta
"Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
reply 2 days
fitta
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
reply 2 days
SatanslilDemon
Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
reply 2 days
SmartSunnyShadow
I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
reply 3 days