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Dear Dish-It: Advice on How to Handle Your Crush

March 07, 2017

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Today’s topic for “Talk about it Tuesday” involves matter of the heart: the people you like and don’t know what to do about. One of the biggest things that causes us stress in life is liking someone, and not knowing what to do about it. Wondering if they like you too, hoping that they notice you and ask you out. When you were younger the idea of “having a crush” seemed foreign, but now it’s something you can’t ignore.

Several issues present themselves when it comes to matters of the heart, and in today’s Dish-It article we will be looking at three great questions from three different Kidzworld members, who wrote in with situations that encourage advice on the matter. Keep in mind, it is only advice and insight for consideration. What you chose to do is entirely up to you, and at the end of the day you have to follow your own heart and mind. It is important to pay attention to your crush’s behavior and see if they do anything to indicate that they like you. Communication is also key, what kinds of things has your crush said, which make you think they like you? Or don’t like you? Trusting your gut and intuition will help you to make better choices and interact with the right people. As you get older, you will discover more and more people who truly compliment you.

Let’s take a look at this week’s questions:

Dish-It is here to help with your crush questionsDish-It is here to help with your crush questions

Question by Unicorn, 

I like this boy and I told him. He said he likes me 2. I want him to ask me out. But he just won't, and I'm to nervous to ask him. I know its weird 'cause I know he likes me! I don't know what to do!

Insight/Advice:

Well, it sounds like you would like this boy to come to you, and are scared to make the first move by asking him out. Ask yourself, what is holding you back from doing so? What do you have to lose? Guy’s can be clueless and shy about girl’s needs, they can be totally oblivious, but if they like you, they won’t say no. Worst cast scenario, he doesn’t express the interested you hoped he would. Well at least now you know he wasn’t worth it—because why would you ever want to date someone who doesn’t want to date you. If this is the case, he clearly doesn’t want the same things as you, and if he’s not down to hang out with you, you should meet a guy who is because that guy is out there. Don’t lose hope, anything is possible, but you will never know until you ask. It’s hard to be forward and honest about how we feel. We often play games because it is easier. We get scared of rejection, but it is through honest communication that we find our answers, even if we feel like we’d rather not know--or they are the answers we didn’t want to hear. If he’s worth it, he will be attracted to your strength and confidence by asking him out. This move will make him feel good and fare well with the other guys. He will be flattered by the invitation and not freaked out. If he’s not ready for anything more than a “crush”, or mild flirtation, well at least then you have your answer and know what to expect from now on. Be confident, and play it cool, suggest doing something he can’t say no to, something that you know he will be interested in—just as long as it’s something you like too. If he still says no, take it like a champ, and take out a hot back-up guy instead. Ignore him if he says no, be happy and surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Success truly is the best revenge, so if he does secretly like you and is just scared or got scared, chances are that he could be back. As he realizes what he missed out on, there is a chance that you will be the one with the last word.

Question by lolemoji000, 

I like this guy, and he knows I like him. He has a girlfriend, and his girlfriend dislikes me. I really want to know if he likes me. I'm usually really good at telling if a boy likes a girl. But this boy is the class clown, so I don't know if he is just joking or if he likes me and is flirting.

Insight/Advice: 

Firstly, there are some very evident red flags with this guy that you should be cautious of. You say this guy has a girlfriend (who he should be committed to), but yet you think he likes you? Is it your goal to break them up? It isn’t super classy to flirt with another girl’s man regardless of how you think she feels about you. As you said, his girlfriend doesn’t like you, could this be because of the attention her boyfriend pays you? Or the fact that she has picked up on your feelings based off the attention you give him? You have to keep in mind that if this guy is crushing on you while he is with another girl, what would prevent him from doing this same thing If you two did get together? It sounds like this guy likes attention, and isn’t going to ignore your flirtations, but instead take part in them. Show this guy that you have self-worth (that you have too much pride and tact to go after another girl’s guy), that you know you are a prize and deserve to be with a guy who is actually available and treating you like amusement for their ego. You have to ask yourself, in finding out if this guy likes you, what are you planning to achieve? What is your end goal? Does your gut tell you that he is a really great guy, or is he just easy on the eyes?

Question by ChatQueen11, 

Hi there, I have this problem. I have a crush on my classmate. He is kind of my enemy and kind of my crush. Before we became enemies, his best friend told me that he had a crush on me. Know I think I still have feelings for him. I am not sure. I was the one who starting targeting him first. He than decided to be my enemy. What should I do?

Insight/Advice: 

Why did he decide to be your enemy? Did something specific happen between you two? I am sure you have heard the classic textbook reality that guys can be mean to the girls that they like and make fun of them. If I was you, I would reach out to him and let him know that you still care (even just as a friend), and that it bothers you that you two are enemies. See if he is open to being friends again and go from there. If there is any real chemistry between you two something will blossom naturally—just don’t force it and give him his space if he needs it. If it turns out that you two just can’t get along, you have your answer that it is time to move on and stop wondering what all the mixed messages mean. Sometimes when people reject us it makes us work even hander for their acceptance, but we have to try and learn to accept that some people just don’t see us the way we wish they would. If he was your “best friend” he should be prepared to forgive you for whatever transformed, you into “enemies.” I am sensing a bit of confusion regarding your feelings so I would take some time to really figure out how you feel. Maybe make a “pros” and “cons” list to see how your feelings about this guy look like on paper. Focus on the facts of your interactions, and not how you interrupted those interactions. Sometimes we read into things when we want to see something that is not there, so check the fact. In what way has this guy expressed that he still cares for you? What do you think his reaction will be? Do you think it’s worth it to reach out to him? One the other hand, if you don’t talk to him, you might always wonder what could have happened. If you truly feel that this guy has value to you and you want him in your life, the only way to find out if this is a possibility is to talk to him. If facing him makes you nervous, try writing a letter and find the best words to communicate how you feel.  

Afterthoughts

Sometimes it is easier to flirt, and leave questions unanswered, but if find yourself thinking about your crush too much, it might be good to get some answers. By believing in yourself and what you have to offer, you won’t stay hung up on people who don’t like you back. Yes, it can take some time to get over, but you will be stronger because of it. Figuring out where you stand with someone can be tricky, but by eliminating the wrong matches, you are that much closer to the right one. Don’t go after someone else’s girl or guy, ask yourself if you would like it if someone did that to you. Respect that other people are together, and don’t go after what you can’t have because it probably won’t work out as you wished. Learn to communicate your concerns so that you can get answers and closure. Think about the qualities you want in a mate, and don’t settle for less.

Finding someone you can really connect with can be challenging, especially since the end goal is to end up with one person. In addition to advice, Astrology helps us to further understand what matches might work best for us in the long run. To gain further insight on what your compatibility with your crush is like, and what star signs work best as friends, crushes and partners, check out our recent article, “Are We Astrologically Compatible?

Astrologically Compatible with your crush?Astrologically Compatible with your crush?

In the meantime, got something pressing your brain? Got a problem? Need some advice about something going on in your life? Write into the Dish-It section on Kidzworld and we’d be happy to try and help you with your problem. Remember, that in a case of an emergency always visit your nearest emergency, call 911, or get in touch with your local helpline to receive immediate assistance and support.

Have Your Say

Did you find this week's questions helpful? Do you have more advice? Comment below!