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Dear Dish-It Discusses School-Related Problems

Aug 15, 2017

School isn’t easy for everyone, and while some of you have already returned to school, many of you are dreading September. School can present all kinds of problems that challenge your ability to concentrate, excel or fit in. Being forced to see the same people day in and day out can present issues, especially if you find that you don’t get along with some of them.

We take these school-related stresses seriously and today on Dear Dish-It’s “Let’s Talk About It Tuesday”, we will be answering school associated questions from kids and teens. Everyone suffers from different problems and they are all important. Try not to minimize someone’s issues, if it’s bothering them then it is worthy of helping. School itself presents all kinds of problems, but when added to the layer of social dynamic at school, we run into even greater problems. You need to be feeling okay in order to concentrate and when we face problems it makes it difficult to do this. 

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

Some kids and teens really look forward to going back to school.Some kids and teens really look forward to going back to school.

Question by secret

I find it very hard to speak with people which is causing a lot of problems in school in particular. some times the teacher asks a question (which I know the answer to) and she says whom every answers is correct gets bonus marks. but I never answer any question because I'm veryyy shy. Or when she asks questions in turns and it's my turn I shiver from shyness and my voice crakes.

Insight/advice:

I'm sorry you have to go through this it must be very challenging. It’s okay to be shy, but you have to work on coming out of your shell. You need to face your fears. Being shy is something you can grow out of, and the more comfortable you feel, the more likely you are to speak up. The next time the teacher calls upon you, answer the question. Take it one step at a times and try to build your confidence. Challenge yourself to do things that you don’t want to like speaking up in class or asking a classmate to borrow something. You will start to get over your fear the moment you start practicing using your voice. You might come to learn that you really like it and that other people respond positively to it. Try to be confident in who you are, don’t be afraid of rejection and let people know what you think. Work on this slowly over time, search for the courage within, it is there, it just might take some time to find it.

Sometimes we struggle to find our way at school. Sometimes we struggle to find our way at school.

Question by ponyhorse138

Just not say very bad words.

Insight/advice:

This is something you will have to be mindful of. Be mindful of your speech. Be careful of what you say and who you say it to. Don’t hang around people who influence you to use bad words and don’t subject yourself to bad words. If you do use a bad word by accident, apologize. There is no need to express yourself with profanity. It is not polite and it gets you in the mode of having a bad habit. Once you are swearing at school, it is bound to come out and home, and I doubt your parents would want to hear this. Practice makes perfect, so work on your communication and be mindful when you speak so you can stop yourself from using bad words before you do.Words are important and we should always pick them carefully.

When you pay attention you might learn something interesting.When you pay attention you might learn something interesting.

Question by missy friend

Dear Dish-It, how to focus in class?

Insight/advice:

This is a great question and really depends on what kind of person you are. I know a guy who had trouble paying attention in class so he took notes throughout the whole class. He wrote down everything. Everything valuable the teacher said, he wrote down. Teachers often test you on the material that they teach you, so these notes were very useful for his exams. The student performed very well, why? Because he was paying attention. Being mindful in class is also great, getting yourself to refocus on being in class and trying to listen to what the teacher is saying. Participation is also a great way to stay alive, listen to what is being spoken about and take a stance on it. Raise your hand, make a comment or ask a question. Trying to listen and retain information are the two most important things so do what you need to in order to achieve this. This might require sitting somewhere else, away from your friends or the girls/guys you pass notes with. Put yourself into an area where you can focus more. Try to put your education before socializing. Yes, It’s hard to retain everything, but it’s great to retain something so find a way that helps you retain key points. I guarantee nothing will beat the well-accomplished feeling of doing well in school. 

School is a place where you should feel welcomed and safe.School is a place where you should feel welcomed and safe.

Question by feeling alone

Dear-Dish-It, during the school year everyone wants a break. but I haven't been off for even a week and I want to go back. I miss my friends and my teachers and all I have been doing is going to stores and staying home for hours on end. I didn't think that it could get worse but I was wrong. I was forced to do laundry that wasn't even mine! I just feel alone and upset. I just want things to go back to the way they were!

Insight/advice:

That’s really great that you love school so much and that it makes you happy. You sound frustrated and bored, and tired of summer. Sadly, I don’t make the rules, and can't determine when you go back to school, but I do know that time flies by, and as summer is nearly over, we can see how things are constantly changing--you will be back in class in no time. Hang in there, make play dates, find fun things to do with your free time. You might think it's the worst now, but once you get busy again you might miss having the liberty to do what you like. Suggest some things you’d like to explore over the summer to your parents. Ask them if you can partake in some things that excite you. Try to make the most of it, and you’ll be back in school before you know it. Meanwhile, soak up the free time and make good use of it. Use your imagination and find creative ways to occupy yourself. 

Question by nananana

Hi Dear Dish-It, I need advice in school like my dad is depending on my grade in Math and English I’m afraid I will do bad. Because I didn't do good in those subject...

Insight/advice:

It must be really hard facing that kind of pressure from your father. Have you tried talking to your dad and letting him know that you need help in those subjects? Honesty is key here. Let him know what you think you can achieve or potentially look into getting a tutor to help boost your mark. Tell your dad your education is important to you and that you want to perform, but find these classes tend to be challenging. Talking to him will be so much better than living in fear and agony. 

Be inclusive with others not exclusive.Be inclusive with others not exclusive.

Afterthoughts

There are so many elements of school, it’s hard for there not to be problems. While we learned that some people can’t get enough of school, other people suffer challenges. It can be hard when you're shy, or when people are putting you down. It’s not good for anyone to make school a bad place to be for other students. Really trying to think about people’s feelings. Think about community and welcome people in. Be inclusive, not exclusive 

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and if your parents are giving you pressure that you can’t handle then you need to talk to them about it. A school is a place to achieve, but it is also a place to feel safe and comfortable. It is also a place to have fun at.

Fitting in is hard for some people because they are different or shy. Not everyone is comfortable taking a leadership role and people are different so you have to learn how to treat people individually. Regardless, you should always treat people the way that you would like to be treated. 

School is complicated by social stress.School is complicated by social stress.

On a separate housekeeping front, I’ve been getting a lot of questions about female hygiene issues and periods. Please re-read our Do’s and Don’ts listed below as that is subject matter Dear-Dish-It will not be able to address. You need to see your doctor for educated advice.

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

Do you like school? What do you think is the hardest part about school?

 

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

rainbowpoptart
Goodness... I see where your mother is coming from: if you eat too much, no matter how healthy the food is, and don't work off the calories, you're going to gain weight. But she's being very obsessive and dramatic about it. There is nothing wrong with eating pizza or a cookie every now and then, and there's nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time either. As long as you aren't constantly eating junk and not burning the calories, then you do not have a problem. Eating unhealthy things every now and then does not make you fat. EATING every now and then does not make you fat. Try explaining this to her, calmly and patiently. Tell her that you don't want to be forced to do all of this exercising - being forced to exercise makes it a lot less interesting. Do not take "This is for your own good" for an answer; if you do not want to do it, it is NOT for your good. (This, of course, would be a different story if you were actually fat.) ALSO tell her that exercising too much and not satiating your cravings is JUST AS UNHEALTHY AS BEING FAT IS. If you were to not eat healthful meals and not snack every now and then, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food is, plus exercise so frequently, you would not be healthy.  Eating is good for you, even if the food isn't. Eating too little and eating too much is not healthy. Exercise is good for you. Not exercising enough and exercising too much is not good for you. If you talking to her doesn't help, try telling another adult how you feel, and maybe they can help get it through to her. Regardless of what happens, take care of yourself. Moderate how much you eat, but don't limit yourself to less than you feel you need. Exercise, but don't do something you don't want to; working out should be fun. Good luck with everything. I'm really sorry that she makes you feel so badly about this.
reply about 11 hours
jake495
jake495 posted in Family Issues:
Make sure she knows its your body not hers In a respectful way of course
reply about 12 hours
ThePaleWalker636
I'm perfectly happy with myself. I'm around 5'6" and somewhere between 140-150 pounds, and I don't feel fat. But my mom is constantly telling me that I am, or, at least, that I'm going to be. She forces me to go to exercise classes because I don't like many sports, tries making me go on diets, but I don't want to. She tells me that if I continue the way I am, having an extra cookie once in a while and only eating cereal for breakfast, that I'll end up fat, and she makes sure to emphasize how horrible that is for a person to live with. She rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she sees me getting a snack, and just in general makes me feel awful for eating the things I like and for relaxing. I've told her that I don't want to do these things and that she makes me feel bad when she says things like that, but she swears it's for my own good and that I should never want to be fat, that it ruins people's lives. How should I deal with this?
reply about 12 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Friends:
"NS12" wrote: I meet this guy at a festival and we have been talking for the whole week and my mum has noticed I keep texting someone and I know I need to tell her but I don t know how I am going to tell her, I doubt she ll get angry or anything but he lives about 4/5 hours away from me. I know I need to tell her as I don t like keeping secrets from her. I know this was a bit ago, but I truly hope that you were able to be open with your mother. If you feel as if they won't get mad at you, then chances are that your guardian will not. Honesty is the best policy, and if you feel guilt keeping a secret, then it is one you probably shouldn't be keeping.
reply 1 day
drowning
I agree with @rainbowpoptart. You really shouldn't worry about relationships that much given your age. I promise, they're better things to worry about than boys and more secure romances occur later on in life anyways. But, given the situation, you shouldn't worry about either. The boy is unfaithful and so is your friend. If your best friend really valued your friendship, she would not have put it in a position that could end it. Don't waste your time on those who will not put you first just as you do for them; better people will come into your life and they are the ones who you should really worry about.
reply 1 day